( LƒΦ`) Grandpa (v2.0) (1018)

1 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4417 18:34 [no]

( LƒΦ`) hello kids!

501 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4461 23:40 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Darkpa, I suggest dying. It might sound crazy, but it's an absolute cure-all!

( LƒΦ`) I like Under17, Junior. moe

502 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4462 01:06 [no]

(EΝE) That's not metal in the least, you old fogey!

503 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4462 01:07 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, who'd win in a fight: you or Vin Diesel?

504 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4462 02:45 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Even I have to succumb to the awesomeness that is Mr. Diesel.

505 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4462 12:47 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, be you a rich man or a little street sweeper, sooner or later you must dance with the Reaper!

(EΝE) Station!

506 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4462 20:12 [no]

( LƒΦ`) needs more cowbell.

507 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4462 23:37 [no]

(EΝE) She's choppin' broccoli... SHE'S CHOPPING BROCCOLI~

508 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4463 00:22 [no]

( LƒΦ`) SKYYYYYYYYYYROCKETS IN FLIGHT, AFTERNOON DELIIIIIIIIIGHT

509 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4463 01:05 [no]

(EƒΦE) o O ( ...when did this become karaoke night?... )

510 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4463 02:42 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, did you ever kill the jabberwalkie?

511 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4463 04:20 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Why yes, Junior. In fact, it's all coming back to me now... my days as a DQN dragonslayer...

512 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4463 07:56 [no]

(EΝE) Dragonslayer?! Sugoi sugoi, tell me more Grandpa!

513 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4463 18:45 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Whan that Sakura with her shoures soote, the droughte of fun hath perced to the roote, and bathed every vayn in such licour, of wich virtu yellow'ed is the flour, when a bad haeleth came to DQN, and rampagt havoc on the fen, then cometh Grandpa with his OHAYOU BEEM, and approached the scoundrel on a horse.
"I fear ye not," he said, of course.
So Grandpa drew out his big svon, and slew the contemptous villain anon!

514 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4463 21:38 [no]

(EƒΦE;) o O ( King James' Dragonslayer?! )

515 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4464 02:36 [no]

(EΝE) tl;dr

(EΝE) Hey Grandpa, how much hentai do you have? I've been raking up a few gigabytes recently, just for the heck of it, yknow?

516 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4464 03:41 [no]

( LƒΦ`) ...

Why do today's youngsters download GIGABYTES of pictures of weirdos? In my day, we had Hard Gay and were happy with it.

517 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4464 08:01 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, do you have any artistic talent?

518 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4464 23:03 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Are you joking? I made the Mona Lisa, but Da Vinci smudged my name off the painting!

(;LƒΦ`) He did, however, make most of The Last Supper - I don't care much for Jesus. I once wiped my ass with the painting, though - that's where most of the brown parts of the painting are. Guess that's why I didn't kill him. Equivalent trade, you know.

519 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4464 23:42 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, I done heard tales of a mighty catfish in Gobbler's Lake called "General Lee" that can swallow a man whole, boat and all. And no man has ever caught him!

520 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 04:32 [no]

( LƒΦ`) In his house at Gobbler's Lake, dead General Lee waits dreaming...

521 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 05:49 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, do you think that we will ever get to 1000 again?

522 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 05:54 [no]

( LƒΦ`) As long as there are idiots like you with dumb questions, my boy.

523 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 11:36 [no]

( MƒnL) soon, I will have my revenge. Yes, my pretties, soon.
evil cackle

524 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 12:21 [no]

(EΝE)..... Grandpa, i wonder, just how old are you?

(EΝE) You must have been through so much with all the samurais the hiroshima incident and the landing on the moon. Not to mention the holocaust and the second impact!

525 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 19:28 [no]

i Lƒn`jYou buy now!
(EƒnE) Wha... what's happening, Grandpa?

526 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 20:24 [no]

(E„DE) WHAT THE!!!

527 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 20:43 [no]

@@ @ @ @ @ Q,. -„Ÿ„Ÿ=ƁRA
@ @ @ @@@/Ϊ'L @@@@@@MRA
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@ @ @ @ @_„Œr‘~‘R@Ϊ'L
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@@@@@@@@@@@@‚΅Œ

528 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4465 20:59 [no]

(„D)
Who are you >>523 >>525 ? You're not Grandpa?!
You kind of scare me...

529 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4466 03:08 [no]

(„D) MY EYES!!!!!!!!

530 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4466 03:20 [no]

sssss
( ŽK_ ) BWAHAHAHA!!!! I, DAG ÆGREN, HAVE REMOVED YOUR EYES WITH WAKABAMARK!!!

531 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4466 05:32 [no]

(EƒΦE) o O ( They're breaking out with the nonsense again, maybe it's about time for me to make my move... )

(EƒΦE) o O ( No... not just ye-- )

|EQE|Ɂ\\\@ (œƒΦE;) ...................

532 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4466 06:56 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, will MSN Otoko find true love?

533 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4466 10:15 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Yes, sunny.

534 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4466 15:54 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa?

535 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4466 16:01 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Just browsing other threads sonny... DQN has never had this many cool threads.

536 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4467 00:42 [no]

(=(EΝE) Ahem. Most esteemed Grandfather, I have need for your generous wisdom for my most urgent question.

(=(EΝE) Darkpa, your incredibly dashing rival, is all alone on Thanksgiving this year. Perhaps we should invite him? I think he would be too proud to join us, but it would only be the polite thing to do.

(=(EΝE) Ahhh... Ahh...

( MƒnL) CHOOO! ŽOŽO =(EΝE)

( MƒnL)@@
"Όƒm=(EΝE)

537 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4467 04:11 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Cool mask, Darkpa. Not. You really thought you could fool me eh?

( LƒΦ`) But, Darkpa, Thanksgiving is all about the pilgrims and the indians and how they shared a feast together back in the day (but I wouldn't really know - I attended the party but was severely drunk with moe). I'd be delighted if you attended Thanksgiving with me, Junior, Clonepa, and and J-bot. Of course, you'll have to be willing to contribute to the feast just as much as the other members. Having said that, I'd like to be the first...

@@@@ ___
@@@(ά_@@ΘQΘ
@@@ _ RRi LƒΦ`j...to offer you an appetizer, BITCH!
@@@@ (mJ@@ @ ά_
@@@@@ Ɂ@Ώ@@/ ^
@@@@@i@ | .|ΘQΘ
@ ^_˜¦@|@i@@@ j
@(___‚ցQƒm TQQƒm@@

538 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4467 05:46 [no]

(;E„DE) Grandpa, calm down! We haven't even passed >>550 yet!

539 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4467 12:32 [no]

i LƒΦ`jIt would be my second.

540 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4467 21:34 [no]

(EΝE) Your second what, Grandpa?

541 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4467 23:26 [no]

i LƒΦ`j>>550 (such is the cycle of the universe)

542 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 02:50 [no]

(EΝE) "Time is such a wheel that no man can stand upon it long.

          And it always, in the end, comes back around to where it began."

(EΝE) I read that in a book, once.

543 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 04:42 [no]

i LƒΦ`jYou? Read books? You're shitting me.

544 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 10:14 [no]

(EΝE) Actually, grandpa, I rather enjoy it.

545 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 17:19 [no]

i LƒΦ`jWell sonny if you are so wise, do something to repopulate this thread

546 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 17:20 [no]

i LƒΦ`jBecause I'm the only one posting here for a while.

547 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 17:25 [no]

(EΝE) Hey everyone, I hear they're giving out free chicken and watermelon over at "( LƒΦ) Grandpa (v2.0)"! Yes, that's "( LƒΦ) Grandpa (v2.0)"!

548 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 17:26 [no]

(EΝE) .......Grandpa, what did I do to your face?!

549 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 17:53 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, don't you think I just don't have anything else to ask?

550 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 17:56 [no]

i LƒΦ`jIf you stop asking questions, I will die.

i LƒΦ`jI must live forever...Give me questions, Junior. NOW.

551 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 18:01 [no]

( MƒnL) (So that is where he gets his strength...perhaps I should create a Darkpa thread and have Junior start asking me questions...)

552 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 18:14 [no]

(EΝE) Well, Grandpa, I have a few suggestions.

(EΝE) Perhaps someone should create a website that you can enter in any question and Grandpa will answer! Or something of that sort - like a mIRC bot or AIM bot or something. You could use questions previously answered, or new ones too.

(EΝE) Or, Squeeks should archive the Grandpa threads and immortalize them on this website. We are sort of mascots, yknow!

553 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 18:49 [no]

i LƒΦ`jNot until the comedy starts. Someone needs to stop the LAZY and make with the ASCII ART if you know what I mean.

554 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 18:49 [no]

i LƒΦ`j You can't replace me with a machine!

555 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 19:17 [no]

(EΝE) Oh, shut up Grandpa! Today's thanksgiving. Let's eat and grow fat!

556 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 19:24 [no]

i LƒΦ`) What was that, Junior? I'm busy digesting.

557 This post sucks.

558 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 19:31 [no]

(@@@@@@EΝE@@) I feel a bit heavy..

(@@@@@@@@EΝE@@@@) Oh well, its nothing!

559 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 19:53 [no]

i LƒΦ`) Dessert goes in a different stomach, after all! Haha!

560 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4468 23:44 [no]

(EΝE) So you don't have to exercise to burn the fat Grandpa?

561 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 01:31 [no]

(EΝE) I bet his muscles have disappeared.
Not like the old days sparrring with Bruce Lee, huh?

562 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 05:01 [no]

i LƒΦ`) What are you talking about, Junior? Bruce Lee could kick your ass from beyond the grave if he wanted.

563 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 06:36 [no]

(EΝE) Kind of embarassing to die from a headache-relief pill, don't you think?

564 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 16:29 [no]

i LƒΦ`) I have lived and died. So?

565 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 16:33 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, do you think the Japanese were as offended by Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls as I was by her solo career?

566 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 16:50 [no]

@@@@@ ΘQΘ
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567 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 17:40 [no]

(EΝE) Ouch!

(EΝE) Grandpa, were you in the war?

568 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 18:35 [no]

i LƒΦ`) I'm not your stereotypical Grandpa. I wasn't in just -one- war, I was in every war out there to date, even some that weren't historically recorded. How did I get through them all with maybe one or two flesh wounds?

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@@@@@@ @ |(| @ |@,,,,,, @:::| some of its awesome power.
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569 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 21:25 [no]

(EΝE) Do you ever wish for the days before the endless September, Grandpa? I know you were there, I saw the old usenet postings you made in alt.usenet.kooks.

570 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 00:13 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Junior, you need to find a better news source than Green Day albums.

571 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 03:14 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, its snowing! Come outside and lets play!

572 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 05:09 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Ouch, my back...

573 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 06:41 [no]

(EΝE) ...Grandpa, when's the last time you got off your ass and did something?

574 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 08:54 [no]

( LƒΦ`) when I fucked your mother

575 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 11:03 [no]

( LƒΦ`)ƒm“Κ

576 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 12:45 [no]

( MƒnL)ƒm“Κ

577 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 16:23 [no]

(E„DE) Wh, what?!

578 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 22:33 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Just forgot my pills today, thats all.

579 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 00:48 [no]

(EΝE) Is that why you were holding an ink bottle just now?

580 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 02:31 [no]

( EƒΦE)ƒm“Κ < Hey I have one too! But what is it?

581 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 04:26 [no]

( EƒΦE)ƒm‰š < Oh?

582 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 04:33 [no]

(EΝE) Those're Legos, Clonepa. And they're mine, so stop playing with them!

(EΝE) Grandpa, I heard you were going to star in Metal Gear Solid 4 as Solid Snake. Is this true?

583 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 05:31 [no]

( LƒΦ`) I'm working on it with Koijma himself, Junior. The eyepatch itches, though.

584 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 06:17 [no]

( EƒΦE) David Hayter is my hero.

585 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 13:04 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, who is the better hero? You or David Hayter?

586 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 18:14 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Well, he also voices Sephiroth...

587 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 22:58 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, why should I copy-paste my face before talking to you?

588 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 23:54 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, do you think love can bloom, even on a battlefield?

589 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:00 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, what do you think of the IRS?

590 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:10 [no]

( LƒΦ`) One at a time, Junior! I'm too old to multitask like you can nowadays.

( LƒΦ`) I severed my ties with Anonymous long ago. Anyhow, I won't answer questions if I don't know who's asking them. Just don't fight the system...or I'll fight you.

( LƒΦ`) Yeah...I do. I think at any time, any place... people can fall in love with each other. But... if you love someone, you have to be able to... er... Line?

( LƒΦ`) tl;dring the last question but I give you a thumbs up for the awesome timestamp.
( LƒΦ`)b

591 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:13 [no]

(EΝE) Granpa, is W.T. Snacks really gone?

592 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:16 [no]

( LƒΦ`) W.T. Snacks will be back. For he WHERE IS SARAH CONNOR

593 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:17 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Maybe you should know that he never existed in the first place, Junior. You mother only created him to threaten you so that you would finish your meal and go to bed.

594 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:18 [no]

(EΝE) Grandpa, why are our timestamps set at 1993?

595 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:19 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Junior, the month is much more important than the year.

596 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:20 [no]

(EΝE) Grandma says its the week that matters!

597 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 00:23 [no]

( LƒΦ`) Grandma isn't that good with numbers, I must actually remind her of your birthday every year you know.

598 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 01:00 [no]

(E„DE) I have a birthday?!

599 Name: Grandma 1993-09-4472 02:01 [no]

(LƒΦ`) He has a birthday?

600 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 03:03 [no]

(EΝE) 600GET

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