( ´ω`) hello kids!

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・） WHAT DID YOU THINK OF HIM!!??

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE PUTTING YOU IN AN ABUSIVE NURSING HOME.

(;;`Д´) #*%$!!!!!!!

(・∀・）Don't have a cow, man.

( ´ω`) Abusive nursing home? Well, now that you mention it, I am up for a little BDSM!

(・∀・）Oh Grandpa, what will you ever do next? Hahahaha.

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE TAKING AWAY YOUR PILLS SO WE CAN GET A NEW DVD PLAYER.

( ´ω`) A new record player?

(・∀・）What the fudge is a record player? MOMMMM HE'S TALKING NONSENSE AGAIN.

J( 'ｰ`)し WOULD YOU SHUT UP? I'M TRYING TO WATCH DR. PHIL.

(・∀・）Old fuckin' geezer. You should just kick the bucket already.

(・∀・）Back to my fuckin' music...

(;∀; ）CRAWWWLLIINNG IINNNN MY SKINNNN, THESE WOUUNNDDSS THEYY WILLLL NOT HEALLLL

( ´ω`) You want real emo? Listen to some of my old country records.

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, slit your wrist♪

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, slit your wrist♪

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, and you really wanna show it, slit your wrist♪

( ´ω`)♪♪♪♪
(・∀・）-? WHAT
( ´ω`) ...
( ´ω`) ITS

( （●）ﾄｪ( ´ω`) !!!!!

(・∀・） Grandpa, have you ever gotten 888?

( ´ω`) I've been known to GET, now and then.

(・∀・）Grandpa, do you think that animes generally have good endings?

(・∀・）Personally, I think they're always horrid pieces of shit! Why can't the japanese make decent endings?!

　　 人
　　　　　　　　 （＿）
　　　　　　　　（＿＿）
　　　　　　 　（　・∀・） 　Jelous? Huh, Grandpa?
　　　　　　 __〃｀ヽ 〈＿ It's only a matter of time until..
　　　γ´⌒´-−ヾｖーヽ⌒ヽ
　　／⌒　 ｨ 　　　｀ｉ´　　）; ｀ヽ
　 /　　 　ﾉ＾ ､＿__￥＿_人　　|
　 !　　,,,ノ爻＼_　_人　ﾉｒ;＾ >　 ）
　（　　 <_ ＼ﾍ､,, ,+､ｒﾉ/　　/
　　ヽ_　　＼ ）ゝ､__,+､_ｱ〃 ／
　　　 ヽ､___ ヽ.=┬─┬〈　 ｿ、
　　　　 　〈J　.〉､| う　|,　|ヽ-´
　　　　　　/"" 　| ん　|:　|
　　　　　　ﾚ　　 :| :こ　|　ﾘ
　　　　　 /　　 ﾉ|＿＿|　|
　　　　　 |　,,　 ｿ　 ヽ　　）
　　　　　.,ゝ 　 ）　　ｲ ヽ ﾉ
　　　　　ｙ　｀ﾚｌ　　 〈´　 ﾘ
　　　　 /　　 ﾉ　　　|　　 |
　　　　 ｌ　　/　　　　ｌ;;　 |
　　　　 〉　〈 　　　　 〉　 |
　　　 /　　::|　　　　（_ヽ　＼､
　　　(｡ｍｎﾉ　　　　 　 ｀ヽｎｍ

( ´ω`) Tomino and Anno really did spoil you kids.

( ´ω`) Junior, I lasted 94 hours straight in a arm wrestle with Vin Diesel and nearly won. Bastard had to do his Diesel Drive - some funky move that defined the laws of physics and put me down. But 94 hours, Junior! Bet you couldn't last half a second against that man.

（　・∀・） Man? In school we learned that Vin Diesel is a force of nature!

( ´ω`) Vin Diesel created humans in his own image. Only a select few will ever get to see his true form.

( ´ω`) whoops, tl;dr >>895. I'm old, you know.

( ´ω`) Vin Diesel is the alpha and the omega. He binds and controls all atoms within the universe and all universes beyond even my knowledge.

( ´ω`) And I damn near beat him(it?) in arm wrestling, Junior. Though I have to admit...I was using my right arm. I did quite the amount of vigorous "training" with that arm.. heh heh.

(・∀・）Vin Diesel will benchpress you through a wall!

(・∀・）Grandpa, does that mean Vin Diesel wanks more than you?

( ´ω`) I haven't wanked in 20 years!

(・∀・） I haven't wanked since WHERE IS SARAH CONNER!

( ´ω`) This thread has been targeted for termination.

(・∀・）Solid Snake simulation? Eye stimulation! I don't have any relation.

(・∀・）Oh, a question. Do you think the person who made the original Grandpa thread is still around, posting in this topic? Or do you think that DQN monster (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) did him in?

( ´ω`) I expect he died when the funny did.

( ´ω`) I want to rest now sonny.

(・Д・) The world is coming to an end......

(´Д`) Reminiscing about old times.. Strawberry fields forever..

(・∀・）Grandpa... I suddenly felt so old. It was kinda scary but I knew you would save me if anything would happen. Why?

(・Д・) Because I'd beat the shit out of you if you didn't!

(・∀・）.... Grandpa?

. . .

( ´ω`) What the hell do you WANT?!

(・∀・）Inheritance money!

( ´ω`) Sorry Junior, there's no money left. I spent it all on hookers and champagne the last time I visited Vegas.

(・∀・）That's it! We're selling your organs on the black market when you die. Doc' said they seem fine.

( ´ω`) These old organs? That were beaten down over the ages I've lived? They wouldn't be worth more then a visit to that one ramen place..the one thats not really related to this thread.

(・∀・） Yeah, this thread is about beef bowls.

(・∀・）Wait, Yoshinoya?!

（ ´_⊃｀） I bet you like Hard Gay Ramen. HOO!

(・Д・) E-eeeeeeeeh?!

(・∀・）Grandpa! What is "Hard Gay"?

( ´ω`) Type it in Google Image Search and find out!

(・∀・）Grandpa! What is "Google Image Search"?

( ´ω`)
　　⊂彡☆))Д´)　>>918

( ´ω`) Don't be a smartass.

(・∀・）Grandpa, what can be done to make Grandpa 3.0 funny and good again?

( ・ω・) Less established characters.

(・∀・）Guess that means you need to die, Clonepa! And Grandma, Fiance (though shes already gone), my dad, Jbot, and Grandpa's first girlfriend.

(・∀・）Darkpa and DQN can stay, so long as they don't say much. After all, this is all about Grandpa and me asking questions!

（ ｀ハ´） Sorry, Junior, but your wonderful story in >>699-772 has inspired me to fight for the side of good. I must leave you now, and go on my own crusade...

(・∀・)b PARTY HARD DARKPA!!!

(・∀・）Wait, a crusade? Are you going to make a Darkpa thread then?

( ´ω`) Quit plotting my death. There's nothing in the will to begin with.

(・∀・） Don't lie to me, Grandpa! You told me one time when I was little that you found some buried pirate treasure once!

( ´ω`) But I didn't say you could have it.

( ´ω`) Plus how do you think i'm paying for all that hookers and beer?

( °3°) GAAAABOOORRRAAAA

(・∀・）Grandpa, a tamagotchi has invaded our thread! What should we do?!
a. Feed him
b. Slap him
c. Wash his poop
d. Nothing
e. ( ´ω( °3°) YOWCH!~

( ´ω`) a.

(・∀・） Sorry Grandpa, the answer we were looking for is 'E'.

( °3°) I demand an apology for this crap!
( ´ω( °3°) YOWCH!~
( ´ω`)y~~

( ´ω`) Okay, let's do a now.

(・∀・）Grandpa, what's the way of the samurai?

( ´ω`) Death before dishonor.

( ´ω`) Fine idea, actually, since we have dishonored our thread by no longer being funny. Be my second and then kill yourself, will you?

(・∀・）I have a much better idea. Let's start copying questions from V1!

(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before the internet?

( ´ω`) We used to read books! You do kn-..

( ´ω`) This is the most commonly asked question from you, Junior. Ask a different one.

　　　　　　_∧ ∧＿＿
　　　　 ／( ´ω`)　 ／＼
　 　 ／|￣ Ｕ Ｕ￣|＼／ I also have to tell you something, Junior. I get most of my answers from Wikipedia.
　 　 　 |　　Hii　 .|／
　 　 　　￣￣￣￣

(・∀・) AHA! Well, that make sense - Wikipedia is pretty cool. I sent them $20 yesterday!

http://img214.imageshack.us/my.php?image=grandpathread3hu.swf

( ´ω`)　I sent them a Tic Tac and a wooden nickle.

(・∀・) But >>941-san, that doesn't really say anything about how this thread started!

(・ω・;) o O ( The first 4-ch flash...? )

(・∀・) Grandpa, are you sleeping again? You should visit my thread some time.

Grandpa is banned junior.

Please don't break the rules or I will lock this thread.

(・∀・)

(・∀・).... what?

I'm serious. Play by my rules or fuck off.

( ´ω`) >>946 is a liar and >>948 is neither a gentleman nor a scholar.

(・Д・) G-Grandpa! Ban evading is a serious offense!

( ´ω`) You think I'm scared of that? When I was five years old, Vin Diesel was my drinking buddy. And we drank LIQUID HYDROGEN.

(・∀・) Wow, Grandpa is immune to banning!

( ´ω`) I'll show you my secret, Junior...

( ´ω(MODD) YOWCH!~

( ´ω`) Follow my lead, Junior. These mods these days, they think they can tell me how to behave and who to suck up to, just because they have their "warn" and "ban" buttons. Well, fuck that noise! Who are you to tell me what to do? You're just some faggot making up half-assed rules for your tiny little patch of Internet! I'm going to post the way I want, so suck it!

(・∀・) Grandpa...

( ´ω`) Them's the facts of life, kid.

( ´ω`)y~~
(・∀・) Grandpa, I think I'm starting to see how this world revolves...

(・∀・) Grandpa, I think 2 universes spliced just now!

( ´ω`) Yes, junior. I can go for donuts right now as well.

(・∀・) Well, it is 5am. Time to make the do~ nuts~.

( ´ω`) Don't disrespect the dead, Junior.

(・∀・) B-B-but.

sound only Grandpa, if you keep this up, I may have to report you to your ISP for abuse.

( ´ω`) Go ahead, I don't have much time left in this world, anyway.

( ´ω`) Did you know that the witch-woman Jenka once had a brother?

( ´ω`) His name was Ballos.

( ´ω`) Like his sister, he wielded powers far beyond those of mortals�

sound only Grandpa...

When you are a guest in someone's house it is rude to talk more than them. Grandpa, you have become tiresome. As the host, I am asking you politely, to scale your postings back.

Thank you.

( ´ω`) Go wank it to loli porn, troublemaker.

(・∀・) Done and done!

( ´ω`) Harumph.

(・∀・) Grandpa, how much time has passed since I started asking you questions?