( LƒÖ`) Friends, Romans, Elitists, lend me your DQN.
(EÍE) What's with the roman theme, grandpa?
( LƒÖ`) Junior, that was the shittiest 2get ever.
(EÍE) But I've come to bury these threads, not to praise them.
( LƒÖ`) Junior, that was the shittiest 4get ever.
(EÍE) Get off my case, grandpa.
(EƒÖE) I have arrived.
( E-E) HAY GUYS YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR PILLS!!!!
( E-E) Thread derailed, I'm outta here.
( E-E) Oh, yah, that kool aid was pretty good, gra-
( x-x)
(EÍE) I wonder if anybody should have a word with the catering service over that.
(xÍx)
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(@¥ิ-¥ิ) Beady Eyes!
(@¥ิ„D¥ิ) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(@¥ิ-¥ิ) Oh, hey, kool aid!
(@xิ-xิ)
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( LƒÖ`) Heh heh heh heh...
( LƒÖ`) Hey, Mittens! Want some kool aid?
SPOILERS MITTENS DIES
( E-E) Oh Grandpa, we're just humoring you.
( x-x) (E-E ) uh oh
(xƒÖE) Crap, I ran out of 'x' stickers.
(xƒÖy)‚Ây Anybody want a 'y' instead?
(EÍE) Grandpa, why did you lose control of the thread so quickly this time?
( LƒÖ`) What are you talking about, Junior? I've been in control the whole time.
(EÍE) Well, among other things, Mittens missed her cue.
( LƒÖ`) Junior, just fuck her and you'll get over that unhealthy obsession with Mittens.
(EÍE) But how am I supposed to fuck her if I don't have a penis?
( LƒÖ`) Use a rake.
( E-E) Perfect for her big bush.
(yÍy) Do they fit me ?
„‹(`„DL„‹) Why didn't you ask for my help???
(vÍv) I think it looks better without the dangly bits. Umm, why does the world suddenly look upside down?
( oƒÖ^) lloolol i ma sios okawyawii
( E-E) Kawaii! Sugoi desu ne!? Fakku Yuu.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are non-sequitors really that funny or just "zany" enough to make people think they should be funny?
( LƒÖ`) It's "humour" without effort, Junior.
( E-E) It's derailment with minimal effort.
(EÍE) Why did beady-eyes 40get?
( LƒÖ`) The answer is 42.
(EÍE) You're the answer?
( LƒÖ`) Am I the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything? While flattering, it doesn't fit me. So, no.
(EÍE) Grandpa, are you a buddha?
( LƒÖ`) My power level is over 9000 above Buddha in terms of enlightenment.
47get
( LƒÖ`) Oh, my old friend 47get Man. How's life going? Still chasing those 56'ers?
( E-E) I don't think he's going to answer.
47get - Life is awesome, Grandpa!
( E-E) Well, fuck you too.
47get - Are you coming on to me?
( Ü-Ü) Any port in a storm, eh, Beady Eyes?
(EÍE) Grandpa, what would happen to us if 4-ch got shut down?
( LƒÖ`) We'd go somewhere else, Junior.
( LƒÖ`) But first, fat-ass and beady-eyes need to GTFO of my thread.
( E-E) Wassamatta, cramps? Too old to keep up?
(EÍE) Grandpa, what was your Grandpa like?
( LƒÖ`) It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.
Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life,
My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad,
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother.
Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run,
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue,
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too.
Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild,
And everytime I think of it, it nearly drives me wild,
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!
I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.
(EÍE) Nurupo
(EÍE) Grandpa, I suspect that having cooties is a genetic condition that is related to the second "X" chromosome, making it a condition specific and isolated to females, and is in no way contagious. Therefore, despite their cootie-ness, I propose girls should be allowed to participate in the same gym class as the boys. It's only fair.
(EƒÖE) If "X marks the spot" but there is a second X, where is the spot?
( LƒÖ`) I see you've put a lot of thought into that, Junior. Unfortunately, there are no cooties, and your idea is as dumb as a butt.
( LƒÖ`) Clonepa, shut your damn mouth.
(EƒÖE) You can't treat me like this!!! IM FUCKING A NORMAL HUMAN BEING!!!
( LƒÖ`) Since when?
(EƒÖE) Since I found them unconscious in the street
(EÍE) Grandpa, is it time to go to Saitama yet?
( LƒÖ`) Whatever. You're a crap-ass. Get out.
( LƒÖ`) Saitama needs to be cleaned of otaku filth.
(EÍE) Nurupo
(EƒÖE) Grandpa's just bitter because he isn't a hit with the ladies like I am.
( LƒÖ`) Nobody asked you, Clonepa.
(EƒÖE) It was the question on everybody's mind. What, are you the man who just can't read the mood?
(EÍE) Grandpa, Grandpa, what is the correct procedure to follow when you find somebody else's panties in the washing machine?
( LƒÖ`) Hang them on the nearest car's antenna.
( E-E) You sniff them until your sister walks in. She will first scold you, then taunt you for your lack of sex life and finally have intercourse with you.
(EÍE) ♡Onii-chan!♡
( E-E) Why you lookin' at me like that, Junior?
(EÍE) ♡Give it up baby!♡
( E„DE) NO! I'M MARRIED!!!
(@¥ิ-¥ิ) Oh, NOW it matters to you...
(EƒÖE) How would you like to get it on with ♡me♡, Junior? All the girls say I'm a real... ♡Lady killer♡
( LƒÖ`) That's because you chop them down with an axe while screaming "TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!"
( LƒÖ`) Kinda like that one guy in that one movie.
(EÍE) Grandpa, do you remember when people used to say "Under the moon, loli to issho"?
( LƒÖ`) Yeah. That was a stupid time, Junior.
(EÍ-) Grandpa, do you remember.. urk, what's going on, I-
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(EÍE) Grandpa, why doesn't the Saviour of the Universe edition of the Flash Gordon DVD have the acclaimed commentary of Brian Blessed?
( LƒÖ`) They're saving that for the first TV season DVD.
(EÍE) Grandpa, why does it hurt when I pee?
( LƒÖ`) My name is Wilford Grandpa and you have diabeetus.
( LƒÖ`) It carries out and is ƒÖ.
(EÍE) I don't think anybody really says that anymore, Grandpa. Could you get with the times?
( ß ƒŽß) It carries out and is w!
( LƒÖ`) Dammit. I thought we'd have a Mittens-free thread this time.
( ß -ß) A...aaa... i'm so sorry...
( ß ƒŽß) Grandpa carries out and is w!
( LƒÖ`) Sigh...
( E-E) Mittens carries on and on and think she's so www
( ß -ß) I'm more www than you, bunnyhead.