I used to go to a catholic high school and was in charge of the dreaded poetry section of the student newspaper. The way my friend and I would judge them was this: We would sit down with a big stack of that week's submissions and read them out loud to each other. And the end of each poem we would blow a raspberry. The longer the raspberry, the worse the poem. So our rating scale went something like this:

A poem that actually rhymes or has a good beat = thppph!

Vapid poems about the school football team = thpppppph!

Suicide, abuse, or other teen agnst poetry = thppppppppph!!

Agnst that rhymes "lies" with "eyes"= thpppppppppppph!!!

Poems that starts out "Life is like..." = THPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPH!!!!

I swear to God that if I see another "Life is like..." that I will hunt the author down, bring him to his knees, rip out his heart, and slap it in his face, saying, "LIFE IS LIKE THIS, YOU SMELLY LITTLE PUNK! ENJOY IT!!"