Why hasn't anyone told me that this book encompases so much win and paradoxes?

Maybe because all your friends are simpletons.

I'm guessing it's a conspiracy cooked up by the people who poisoned your food.

that book does rock

Especially chapter 22. Milo Minderbinder is my shurderpersav.

It's always been a good book. I guess no one you know knows about it, or they think it's already widely known and didn't think it needed to be said.