Drizzt Do'Urden and Mysterious Kobolds (2)

1 Name: Bookworm : 2006-12-18 20:04 ID:VmYqsuxn


It was hell of a night for caravan, thought Eddzym. It was cold. It was always cold in Icewind Dale.
And there was wind. Oh god there was icy wind, freezing the men and the horses.
Eddzym muttered few elvish curses.
"Hey, what the frog Eddie, you're a dwarf" came voice near him, through the winds of ice.
"I can speak elvish if I want Addzom!"
"You're such a ho..." Addzom was interrupted by sudden flash.
It was a kobold, holding wand of light above his head. Around him there were ten more ugly bastards.
"Why, look at that!" stated Addzym. "A kobold and ten ugly kobolds!"
"The most pathetic and weakest creatures to roam in Icewind Dale, including the ratwomen! Boys, get'im!"
Twenty onedwarfes came down from the horses, with axes ready.They grunted like little pigglets in jelly.
Ten kobolds took wands from their backpacks. They too started grunting.
Dwarves started rushing forward, snow plowing to all directions from their little dwarvish feet.
Then they all died. They exploded to fairy dust. Indeed, kobolds had death ray wands.
"My gods..." uttered Eddzym.
"THEY'RE FROGGING KOBOLDS" Yelled Addzom and peed his pants.
There was only once chance for Eddzym, and he would not let it go by.
"Addzom, attack, now! They're reloading!"
"Grrraaah!" Addzom striked forward with his spear and galloping horse.
All kobolds pointed their shiny wands at poor Addo. Tears started rolling down on attacking
dwarfs cold cheeks. "For the sake of gods, wands do not need to be reloaded! Eddie save me! Eddieeeeeeee...!"
Addzom exploded like a gas sprout in hell. His dust mixed up with snow in the dark valley of cold
Icewind Dale. Truly beautiful.

Eddzoms did not see this, he was riding his horse to opposite direction. Precious silksalt
cargo was lost, but he still had the even more precious artifact in his own backback. He'll still get good
money from selling it somewhere. Most hideous thing caravaner could do, but hey, he had just lost everything.
It was mere 20 miles to the closes town. He could make it easily. Goddamned kobolds, getting their
hands on something as powerful as death ray wands. Magical wands or not, they wouldn't be
getting Addzom. Unless... "By thousand mollocks, levitating kobolds!" Eleven kobolds,
flying steadily in pure air, as fast as Eddies horse. One zapped his
wand of death, hitting the snowy road. Eddzoms horse launched itself left, straight to the forest.
Dwarf himself smacked down right onto snow. When Eddzym got up, he got to see mugs of kobolds,
floating all around him. They all were pointing right at him with their sturdy wands. "Why don't you
blast me, you filthy lizards!"
"Sbecause youu.. youu have something wee wants"
"The artifact? Frog you, it's just slightly magical gem."
"Is preciousss"
Great hissing started all around Eddie.
"Precise this, frogs!"
Little hidden dart flied from Eddzyms hand, right into eye of one kobolds.
"SSATANSSS..!" Explosion made little kobolds head blow.
"I've got more explosives right here, enough for all of you!"
One of the kobolds waved his wand and Eddzum disgenerated to dust.
"Shhhhwandss of deeath cannot destroy artifacts"
Hissing ensued.
"Hiss hiss"
"Hiss hiss hiss hiss"
"Sshis Hiissh hiiss"

2 Name: Bookworm : 2006-12-18 20:06 ID:VmYqsuxn

Chapter 1: Misery

Drizzt Do'Urden had cut himself. Three bloody lines went over the road of his right wrist.
"Nobody understands me." That angsty claim was actually true. What a wretched sight this
elven was. First off, he was all black. Elf that was black. Actually only indication of his elvishness
was his pointy ears. Drizzt didn't look gallant at all. He looked more like an dead hobo.
Even his hair was milkywhite, like a field of straws mocking Drizzts skin color.
"I'll kill myself. That'll show everybody." However first he decided to go visit that bar.
"Hey you ugly goblin, your payment is due today!" innkeeper yelled at Drizzt when he hurried
down the stairs.
"Frog you, I'll pay later!"
"Yeah, I bet you do, after you have got some surly homo to buy some of your puny ass."
That really hurt Drizzt Do'Urdens soul.

Bar of Diversity, stated the sign. "What am I doing here, they'll all hate me anyway."
"I hate the world" "I hate them all, humans are so stupid." "No one will ever understand me."
"Hoi, elven, I have not seen you before."
Drizzt turned around. A fabulous man was standing at front of him.
Outrageous red shirt with yellow stripes and flaming green pants. Beautiful face, almost like
one of a child. Pointy ears. _This was beautiful wood elf.
"You.. you cald me an elf?!" Drizzt was surprised.
"Even my own kin calls me turd-piece of a dwarf!"
"Oi, but you're elf." homo declared, smirklingly.
"Dark elven, a DROW!"
"Elven none the less. What's your name boy-a?" fabulous man had his little finger pointing out.
He really was more fabulous than Drizzt. And no doubt less shocked,
as this was the first time an elf had actually said something else to Drizzt than "Shitowl."
"My name's Drizzt Do'Urden, son of Gloin."
"Fabulous name, mine's Steve. Let's go inside Drizze."
And inside the Bar of Diversity they went, Steve holding drows hand.

Bar of Diversity was propably the only thing in the world more fabulous than Steve.
Magical lights in all hues of pink and purple lightened up the place. Bar apparatuses were
made from grand crystal oak. Floor actually was crystal.
Diversity was unimaginable. All around Drizzt there were half-hobbits, half-elven, half-orcs,
half-gnomes and even one full dwarf and couple of goblinoids. There was dance and roligt.
First time in his life, Drizzt felt content. This was his place.

"Klingklangklingklangklingklang! "Fire, ablaze fire in the centre of the town!"
Drizzt Do'Urden wake up, though it had only been an hour since he had
laid down to bed. "Oi oi, what's going on" asked Steve. Drizzt looked through the window.
There was an fire, at the very centre of the town. Multiple houses around spot, a crater.
Crater on that Bar of Diversity had laid. "That's a shame oy."
"What.. what is this? What happened?!" Drizzt jumped down from the bed.
"Drizzt Do'Urden, come back to the bed." Steve was suddenly talking more boldy and
"No not now Steve, I must go he.." "WHAT DO YOU THINK I PAID YOU FOR YOU
FILTHY EXCUSE OF AN ELF!" Steve was now standing erect. His pointy ears had dropped on
bed. Not bloodily though, they were fine copies made from wax. Steves real ears were indeed
fine human ears. Drizzt Do'Urden realised that the man at front of him was his nemesis.
"By seven gods... You're Artemis Entreri!"
"I am your arch nemesis, Artemis Entreri!"

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