> about as bogus as the argument that learning BASIC is somehow harmful

Sorry, but that argument is not bogus. My first two languages were QuickBASIC and Visual Basic, and they were a prison for my mind. I was constantly frustrated by stupid counterintuitive crap like the = operator doing two different things, "INPUT A$" printing a question mark while "INPUT A$," doesn't (or something like that), and other built-in gadgets with ad-hoc syntax. It took years before I was able to learn a real programming language (C) and actually figure out what the fuck I was doing.

I think you killed your whole argument right there. If Perl is as good a beginner language is BASIC, it is a god-awful beginner language and should be avoided at all costs.