> i don't have the source the GPL requires me to either download it
So get the source code and fulfill your obligations.
> and use up a ridiculous amount of hard drive space to store it
I sincerely doubt that you're strapped for storage space. Storage space is affordable to anybody in 2008.
> or make sure no one else can read any binaries of GPLed software on my computer.
I don't understand this. Are you implying that you are distributing a program whenever someone will connect to your machine through a computer network? Are you implying that whenever a visitor goes to your computer that you are obligated to give them a copy of any GPL program that they execute?
> The entire "Preamble" is unnecessary
I agree. It is not necessary but the FSF wanted it in there.
> and most of it is deceptive.
Please explain further
> so if i have a binary of a GPLed program [...]
That's actually a good question. I need some time (about one week) to think about that one. My initial interpretation is that you would have to provide the original's source with your hex edited binary.
> people who like copyleft licenses usually don't like clear licenses. they like long, complex licenses full of legal doublespeak so they can claim it's "free" and have people just believe them
Non-sequitur. How can you say that people that like copyleft licenses because it is long and complex? These people like complex licences in order to claim the licence is free? This is a faulty argument.
> because it takes too long to figure out what the license actually says.
PROTIP: Go get some legal counselling whenever you need help interpreting legal documents.