Emergency Mittens Prove Theory of Relativity Wrong (23)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4871 23:38

Abstract
========

Emergency mittens, when released, follow the laws of basic vector addition with relation to their velocity relative to some fixed point. We show that this property shows that Emergency Mittens can travel faster than light and thus that Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity is wrong.

Proof
=====

Let v be the speed at which Emergency Mittens fall upon release with relation to the navigation frame.

Let u be the speed at which you scroll DQN from the top to the bottom with relation to the navigation frame.

Corollary A: v is a positive real value.
Proof: By observation and inference, v != 0, v > 0.

Fig 1.1: A Mona

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Thus, the speed at which Emergency Mittens fall over the Elitist Superstructure at DQN is v + u.

Assume that u is 300,000 kms, or c, thus the speed of Emergency Mittens becomes c + v, and as v > 0 by corollary A, v + c > c. Thus, Emergency Mittens may fall at above the speed of light, contradicting Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity.

Conclusion
==========

The implications of this discovery are paramount. Primarily, this ushers in a new dawn for the Elitist Superstructure. With the power of superluminal speed the Galaxy may be populated by agents of the DQN Elitist Superstructure. Also, it could become a place to have fun or just hang out. That's how chill it can be.

2 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 03:41

You are a motherfucking genius. I am in awe. I nominate you for the Nobel Prize.

3 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 13:24

>>1, if space itself expands, the law is not necessarily broken. Fail.

4 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 14:02

>>3
According to the last survey conducted, DQN is not expanding. In fact, it may be shrinking.

5 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 14:33

>>4 At the time of that survey, DQN had just emerged from the swimming pool, and so the results of the survey may be tainted.

6 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 19:13

>>5

The results were reviewed and a jury of peers concluded that the survey results were, indeed, correct, and that only 6 people post on DQN. 6 is a constant.

7 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 20:46

1- squeeks. Latest research concludes that squeeks posts more than previously thought. research continues.
2- 4chan crowd. more and more 4chan crowd is posting instead of masses that depart dqn,
3- a bitch. yeah they talk a lot, and they post a lot. this is no exception.
4- a few real elitists. they don't really post much, but they insert very esoteric jokes in the perfect places, too bad nobody notices them.
5- teens. not worth mentioning, they post shit and pretty much are the dark matter in dqn.

8 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 21:21

>>7
Despite your insidious use of a five-point list, you appear to be implying that there are more than six users on DQN. I reject your delusional ravings.

Next you'll be claiming it's not really September 1993.

9 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 22:12

The number of users on DQN is a primary number.
Because primary numbers are crazy. QED.

10 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 22:42

>>8 go back to your beloved 4chan. you actually visit there, i saw.

11 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 23:00

There are a prime number of users on DQN, as proven by >>9.
There are six users on DQN, as is common knowledge.
Ergo, six is a primary number.

12 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 23:08

>>11, and I saw that most of them (6 users) are stupid 4channers and submit their feeble minds here. The sad part is people here follow them, due to reasons of their culture. No use declaring a non-existed "superstructure". Believe me, there is no place left. This place is just a shadow of the reality that was left. Now it's diluted and being diluted in an accelerated pace to being a shit ass 4chan clone (i.e. any other libertarianish wester website)

13 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4872 23:14

I've come to realize that there are more than 6 users on DQN, but NEVER, EVER at the same time. EVER. There's Aussie time and Americanada time, but always September 1993.

Ha ha. This may be the dumbest thing I've ever said here. Which is why this is anonymous, right?

14 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 00:59

>>13 listen you liberal bastard, it's a proven fact that there are only 6 users. Look it up.

15 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 01:05

>>13

>Which is why this is anonymous, right?

YOU CAN CLICK, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!

UNAUTHORIZED POSTING OF INSIDE JOKES IS ILLEGAL UNDER U.S. AND INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT LAW!

THE AOL POLICE IS ON THE WAY TO YOUR HOUSE!

WE'RE TOTALLY GOING TO SUE YOU!

FOR REAL!

16 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 01:42

( awa) @OH NO! NOT THE AOL POLICE!!!! THAT'S AFWUL!!1!1!2!!!1!!!THREE!!!8!

17 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 02:12

So. Emergency Mittens and Time Cube in a cage. Two enter, one leaves. What's the outcome? Both defy gravity!

18 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 02:36

Time Cube would be rendered powerless by the Eternal September.

19 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 06:45

>>10 go back to your beloved 4chan. you actually visit there, i saw.
>>12 Now it's diluted and being diluted in an accelerated pace to being a shit ass 4chan clone
>>14 listen you liberal bastard, it's a proven fact that there are only 6 users. Look it up.

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20 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 10:01

@@@______
@@/@@ / |
@ /_____/@|
@|@@ |@/ TIME CUBE, why are you sleeping
@|_____|/@@@In tomorrows world? Hey TIME CUBE
@@TIME CUBE, why are you dancing when you could be alone?
@@@@@@@@@@Hey, TIME CUBE
@@@TIME CUBE, why are you sleeping in tomorrow's world?
@@@@@@Hey, TIME CUBE
@@TIME CUBE, choking on cigarettes won't get you along
@@@@@@@@@@Hey, TIME CUBE

21 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 13:08

So, thats how we ended up in 93'?

22 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4873 14:37

Time loop.

23 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4878 15:19

S C I E N C E

WHAT HAS IT DONE

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