A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic!" "OK" the Nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The Nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
lol
4sama
4station
ＷＡＲＯＴＡｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ
kusosure
itt we're loli
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
i don't get it
HA! HA!
I'M USING THE INTERNET!
I am using the internet too!
itt you are using the internet
I'm not.
interbutt is serios busness
Quit the DQN crap please.
Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland? The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.
Once upon a time, there was a king. His name was Gunther. Now, King
Gunther ruled over a large city and the surrounding countryside, and
he was a benevolent and sensible ruler. All the people loved him,
except the criminals. He was a great diplomat, and the rulers of the
neighboring kingdoms respected him as well.
King Gunther had a beautiful wife named Eioloaieu. (Queen Eioloaieu
was foreign, and King Gunther had met her during the crusades when he
was in the middle east. They never told anyone where she was
originally from, so I don't know. Anyway, she was not European, so
that explains the name.) King Gunther and Queen Eioloaieu had been
married some years previous while Gunther was still only a Prince,
and they were still madly in love. They had six sons (Gunther II,
William, Henry, Robert, Gregory, and Frederich) and six daughters
(Eioloaieu II, Mieaurreaiellieuabelle, Iienieuve, Euoneilida,
Poeillienna, and Auienietea). (He named the sons, and she named the
daughters, if that wasn't obvious.)
Now, each of their children had made a name for something in the
kingdom.
The eldest, Eioloaieu II, was the greatest seamstress in all the
land. She provided the dress uniforms for the king's court, among
other things. She had a team of over fifty skilled seamstresses and
tailors working under her supervision, but she always sewed the dress
uniforms for the king's court herself. Her work was prized far
abroad, and a simple scarf that she had made would sometimes sell
for a year's wages in neighboring kingdoms.
The eldest son, Gunther II, was the Captain of the King's
Guard. He commanded seven staunch guardsmen (besides himself, for
a total of eight) who were famous throughout the land for their
alertness, prowess, loyalty, and valor. Their job was to guard the
King so that no assassin could harm him, and they were always careful
not to neglect that duty. Of the eight, only two of them slept at
any given time, and the other six were awake, so King Gunther was
under constant guard.
The third-oldest child was William, and Prince William was a scholar
of great fame. William had singlehandedly calculated the speed of
light in a vacuum in furlongs per fortnight with eleven significant
digits of accuracy before most scientists were even aware that light
had a finite speed. (We would still be using his figure today except
for the fact that it proved too difficult to convert velocity in
furlongs/fortnight into modern units, and it was simpler to do the
calculation over again in SI.) Prince William had also translated
the entire works of Aristotle and Homer into Sanskrit, but this was
lost due to an unfortunate library fire. In any event, William was
the cheif of King Gunther's advisors, and he headed a board of seven
great wise men for this purpose (eight counting himself). Between
the eight of them there was no problem so difficult that they could
not devise a solution, and no piece of minutia so trivial and obscure
that they were not aware of it.
Princess Mieaurreaiellieuabelle and Princess Iienieuve were twins.
From birth they were both tomboys to some extent or another, and they
had insisted on studying warfare with their brothers. As a result,
Princess Mieaurreaiellieuabelle was the greatest archer in all the
world, and Princess Iienieuve was the greatest weapons smith in all
history. You have heard stories of Robin Hood, and how he was the
greatest archer in London and perhaps England, but had he met
Mieaurreaiellieuabelle he would have met his match, for she was the
greatest archer in all the world. She always carried her unique
compound bow. Prince William and his scholars had designed it so
that it would propell an arrow further, faster, and straighter than
any other bow even to this day, and Princess Iienieuve had built it
for her, and had done such an excellent job that it exceeded even
William's specifications. Princess Mieaurreaiellieuabelle had
practiced so much with this bow that she could fire an arrow from her
window in the castle with a cheesecloth bag attached containing a
special powder (that Prince William's royal alchemist Trent prepared)
into a cloud and cause it to begin to rain. She could also shoot a
mosquito out of the air from five hundred yards distant. Princess
Iienieuve built weapons the like of which had never been seen before
in Europe nor have been since. Besides the bow she made for Princess
Mieaurreaiellieuabelle, Iienieuve had made all the swords and daggars
for Prince Gunther II's guardsmen as well as all the armor, swords,
daggars, pikes, halberds, morningstars, bows, arrows, helmets,
greaves, and other accoutrements of war used by prince Frederich's
army (which we shall come to in a moment). Every weapon she made was
of the finest materiels and workmanship, and she was known far and
abroad.
Prince Henry was the master of the king's stables. That may not
sound like a high position, but Henry made it a high position by the
extent to which he took his work. He bred horses for speed,
strength, intelligence, and compliance to training. His breed of
horses was the best in all the world. (The breed did not survive to
this day because a later, less sensible king sold them all off to
various horse breeders who bred them in with other stock, which
improved the other breeds but did not preserve the original breed.
Ah, well, the accidents of history.) He supplied all the war horses
for Prince Frederich's army as well as all the riding horses for all
the land. His horses were so intelligent and so well trained that
they could actually understand words and sometimes sentences spoken
to them. Henry's own horse, Ed, was so well trained that he could
tell it something like "take this message to my father, then wait for
his reply and take it to my brother Frederich, then come back to me"
and it would do exactly that. His horses were so strong that any one
of them could pull as much weight as a large bull elephant. And they
were so fast that they could outrun flying birds. Henry was no
amateur stable keeper.
Prince Robert was a Wizard of the Great Staff. The Wizards of the
Great Staff were an exclusive club of the world's greatest wizards,
seven in all, and Prince Robert was the only one from Europe. He
spent most of his time away from the kingdom, roaming about the
corners of the universe seeking strange learnings, but he kept in
contact with the kingdom by exchanging regular messages with Prince
William by telepathy. Prince Robert was responsible for the
kingdom's wonderful weather. King Gunther's kingdom was the only
land in all Europe where the rain fell only on the crops and the sun
made every day bright but never shone in anyone's eyes. And it
always snowed on Christmas day, every year.
Princess Euoneilida was a poetess, and she wrote the greatest poetry
ever written, and there has never been any better poetry before or
since. Her poetry inspired all the people of the land to excell at
whatever they might do. Her poetry was so intricate and finely
crafted that even Prince William could not translate it into another
language than the original, because too much meaning would be lost in
the translation. She wrote poetry that made grown men weep just to
read it, and she wrote poetry that filled everyone with mirth even at
funerals. It is one of the seven greatest shames in the history of
the universe that her poetry was all lost in an unfortunate library
fire seventy-two years after her death.
Princess Poeillienna was the Chancelloress of the Exchequer, and she
kept the kingdom's finances in top shape. Poeillienna dutifully
collected every dime that was ever owed in the kingdom, not just
taxes and other public debts but private ones as well if they could
be proven. She kept the finances so carefully that King Gunther's
land had the lowest taxrate in all Europe but yet could still afford
to supply the land with greater services and goods than any other
king could do. Gunther's subjects lacked for nothing, and in large
part he had his daughter Poeillienna to thank.
Prince Gregory was the Royal Chef, and cookery of all kinds was his
specialty. Every time King Gunther held a great feast or a banquet
or some other great affair of state, his son Gregory would produce a
tremendous repast for all concerned, and none ever left the table
unsatisfied. Naturally, Prince Gregory and his team of chefs also
provided the day-to-day meals for the castle staff, and it was
considered one of the greatest benefits of working in King Gunther's
castle. The food there was known far abroad as the best in the
world. In fact it was the second-best in all history, but only
Prince William and his wise men knew of the unspeakable culinary
feats of the Great Kitchen of the Post Modern Neorecabites, the only
food ever to rival Prince Gregory's work. They never mentioned it,
because they didn't want to belittle Prince Gregory's work, which
really was altogether wonderful and amazing. Men were known to trade
a month's wages for a sample of the leftovers, and they were not
disappointed.
Prince Frederich, as I have mentioned, was the General of the Armed
Forces. It was his job to keep and train all the armed forces of the
land. Although King Gunther always managed to keep peace with the
neighboring kingdoms, He wanted his army kept in top shape just in
case he should ever need to use it -- and Prince Frederich certainly
kept it that way for him. All the men looked up to Frederich with
great respect. He knew everything there was to know about war, and a
little bit more. He knew everything about keeping men motivated, and
he was very good at it. His army was the most able force in all the
region, and had King Gunther ever deemed it necessary to go to war he
most certainly would have won. Every neighboring king knew it, so
King Gunther never had to go to war, and everyone knew he had Prince
Frederich to thank. Prince William liked to call him "Pax Frederich"
in jest, but only he and the other wise men understood the joke.
Princess Auienietea was the youngest, but at sixteen years of age she
was already more responsible than most of the adults in the kingdom.
She was in charge of the maintenance of the castle, and it was the
best kept castle in all Europe, and possibly in all the world. She
had a team of the land's best building engineers working under her,
and she was constantly ordering improvements to the castle structure,
additional rooms to be built, higher watchtowers, and so forth. She
regularly commissioned tapestries from Princess Eioloaieu II's team
of seamstresses, and she decorated the castle with a panache unknown
at the time. With advise from Prince William, she made use of light
colours, mirrors, well-placed windows, and other effects to keep the
castle rooms looking light, airy, well ventilated, and spacious,
without compromising the castle's structure in the least.
Everything in King Gunther's castle (and in his whole kingdom,
actually) ran like clockwork. Everything and everyone had a place
and a purpose, and everyone and everything was well tended. Except,
unfortunately, for one thing King Gunther overlooked. The moat, it
seems, was not really in anyone's jurisdiction. Princess Auienietea
kept the castle, but the moat was outside the castle and separate,
and in any event the marine world was outside her area of expertise.
The trouble is that it wasn't anyone else's area of expertise either.
No doubt Prince William's team of scholars could have had many things
to say about the proper upkeep of a moat, but they were never
consulted about it, and it never occurred to them that the moat might
be falling into disrepair. The moat was just one of those things
people walked past (or, indeed, over) every day without paying any
attention to it. Prince Robert certainly could have kept the moat
clean by keeping it flushed with extra rain or by drying it with
extra sunshine, but he didn't think of it. Princess Euoneilida's
poetry certainly could have inspired the people to keep the moat
clean, but she never wrote any poetry about the moat; it was mundane,
and she never thought of it. Even Gregory's kitchen staff never
fetched the water for the kitchens from the moat, because the
cisterns were never empty. (Prince Robert saw to that.) Everyone had
his own area of expertise, and no one seemed to notice that the moat
wasn't being taken care of by anyone. King Gunther and Queen
Eioloaieu theoretically were in charge of everything, but they were
busy making treaties and trade agreements with other area rulers,
entertaining important visitors, overseeing everyone else's work, and
all the things kings and queens generally are busy doing. They never
noticed the moat, either.
So while the moat looked like any other moat on the surface, deep
underneath it was unkempt, and strange things began to grow down
there, unbeknownst to the inhabitants of the castle. This came to
everyone's attention very suddenly one day, when some farmers were
crossing the drawbridge into the castle, bringing food for the
castle's larders. Seven horrible yellow fingers rose from the moat,
reached over the drawbridge, took hold of the farmers, dragged them
down, drowned them in the moat, then disappeared into the murky
depths from whence they came. News of this spread quickly,
and suddenly everyone was afraid to cross the moat. King Gunther
knew he couldn't let this go on for long, so he called over his son
Gunther II and asked him to take the guardsmen and dispatch the
horrible yellow fingers.
"No problem," Prince Gunther told his father, "my men will chop them
off at the knuckles." So Gunther roused the two sleeping guardsmen,
and the eight of them set out to the drawbridge. Standing in a
careful formation so as to be able to protect one another, they
inched carefully out onto the drawbridge. At first the yellow
fingers did not appear, but when they reached the halfway point the
horrible fingers rose up. Prince Gunther and his men made a valiant
effort to destroy the fingers, but they seemed to be unharmed by
their swords and daggars, and one by one they dragged the guardsmen
into the moat and drowned them. When King Gunther heard this he was
very distraught, not only at the loss of his son, which would have
been bad enough itself, and his guard, who had been with him
constantly for years, but also because the yellow fingers were still
in the moat.
Then Princess Eioloaieu II approached her father. "The solution,"
she said, "is simple, but elegant. What we need is not to kill the
fingers, but to capture them. Allow my team of sewers to make the
strongest and finest net that has ever been made, and we will catch
the fingers up in the net and drag them out of the moat." This
seemed good to the king, and he ordered that it be done. Seven days
were spent on the sewing of the net, and it was indeed the strongest
and finest that had ever been made. As everyone in the castle
gathered to watch, Princess Eioloaieu II and her party of sewers all
took hold of the edge of the net and cast the net into the moat.
What happened next happened so fast that many who blinked missed it.
Something deep in the moat, on the other end of the net, apparently
gave a sharp tug, and all who were holding onto the net, including
the eldest princess, lost their ballance and fell forward into the
moat. As they struggled to get out, seven horrible yellow fingers
arose from the moat and began to grab each one and drown them in the
moat. Only seven escaped, and sadly the princess was not among them.
The king and queen were greatly distressed at the loss of their
eldest daughter, not to mention the continued threat in the moat.
But it was too late, and there was nothing to be done.
Having learned from Prince William what was afoot (or, rather,
ahand), Prince Robert returned to the kingdom and conferred with his
father the king. "Have no fear", he said finally. "I'll take care
of this." Robert knelt at one end of the drawbridge and, reaching
into his cloak, pulled out a fine powder, which he sprinkled about.
Then, knealing at the other end of the bridge, Robert sprinkled the
powder there also. Then the wizardly prince swung his great staff
aloft, uttering an incantation in an unknown language, and lightning
struck both ends of the bridge at once, setting fire to the powder.
The moat boiled. The sky turned yellow. Prince Robert stepped out
onto the bridge, still chanting. As he neared the center of the
bridge, Robert's chant grew louder, and a sphere of blue power could
be seen encircling Robert. When the fingers appeared, they wrestled
with the sphere, and Robert continued walking. Unable to penetrate
the sphere and sieze Robert, the fingers satisfied themselves with
siezing the bridge, tearing it from its mountings, and dropping it
into the boiling moat, Robert and all. There was a stunned silence
as Robert sunk into the boiling moat. After a few moments the
boiling subsided, and while the fingers did not resurface, neither
did Robert. The sky faded from yellow to black, and night fell early
that day.
Princess Auienietea approached her father the next morning. "If I
may say so," she said, "it may be partly my fault that the yellow
fingers have come, since I did not hire anyone to keep the moat
clean. But I may have a solution. Why not have my building
engineers create a wider, stronger, safer drawbridge, with high rails
on the sides and a safety roof over the top, and surely then the
yellow fingers will be unable to harm us as we cross it." This
seemed good to King Gunther, and he cheered up a little at the
prospect. Work began immediately, and seven days later Princess
Auienietea announced that her building engineers would install the
new bridge that afternoon. It was constructed of solid marble and
granite, and there were cast iron bars extending up from the sides of
the bridge to the iron mesh safety top. It was seven times as wide
as the previous bridge, so someone walking down the middle need not
even be visible from the moat at all. The new bridge was installed.
Everyone gathered to watch the ceremony of the first lowering of the
new bridge that would solve forever the problem of the yellow
fingers. Princess Auienietea stepped out to the center of the bridge
with golden scissors to cut the red ribbon and open the bridge for
use. As she reached the middle, seven horrible yellow fingers arose
from the moat. Passing straight through the stone and iron of the
bridge as if ghosts, they grabbed the princess. As onlookers
watched, horrified, the fingers squeezed the screaming Princess
Auienietea between the bars at the edge of the bridge, dragged her
down into the moat, drowned her there, and disappeared again.
King Gunther and Queen Eioloaieu were very distraught, as were all
the people. Princess Auienietea was so young to die such an untimely
death! (Not to mention that the hopes of safely crossing with the
new drawbridge had been dashed...) It was decided that the army must
be called in to put the horrible yellow fingers to death for their
misdeeds. Now, Prince Frederich and the army were not in the castle,
but were encamped a few leagues away at their usual training grounds.
So the king wrote a letter to Frederich explaining the situation and
asking that he bring the army at once to deal with the aweful fingers
of death. Princess Mieaurreaiellieuabelle wrapped this note around a
blunt arrow and, standing on the battlements and looking through one
of William's telescopes, shot the arrow into Frederich's pocket.
Frederich was always quick on the uptake, and noticing something in
his pocket he immediately withdrew the arrow, and recognising it as
one of his sister's he unwrapped the note and read it immediately.
Signalling his lead trumpeter, he called the army to attention,
cancelled the day's exercises, and announced the new assignment.
"The kingdom is counting on you", he concluded. The army arrived at
the far end of the drawbridge seven hours later.
Try as they might, however, there was little they could do about the
maniacal yellow fingers. Their weapons either whisked harmlessly
through the ghastly ghostly fingers or bounced harmlessly off. One
by one the fingers began to drown the warriors in the moat, and
seeing that the attack was not succeeding Frederich ordered the army
to stop and hold back at the moat's edge. "We'll have to do
something more drastic", he thought. Yelling across the moat to the
onlookers in the castle, he cried "Fetch my father!" A page boy
immediately left, and seven minutes later returned with King Gunther.
Frederich yelled across again: "Father, we may have to drain the
moat".
Now, ordinarily draining the moat would be avoided, because it could
pose a security risk. (It had also never been attempted and was
suspected to be difficult.) But under the circumstances Gunther
quickly realised that it wasn't half the security risk of the
fingers, so he yelled back "Go ahead," confident that however
difficult it might be his son could get it done. That was all
Frederich needed. He dispatched messengers to the surrounding
villages to bring all the shovels that could be found. Within seven
hours every soldier was holding a shovel, and the digging had begun
in earnest. The army dug straight through the night and into the
next day, and finally they had finished a channel to a nearby gorge.
All that was needed was to connect it to the moat. Several brave men
stepped forward to finish the task. Before they could put a shovel
into the soil at the edge of the moat, however, the yellow fingers
reached up and grabbed them, drowning them in the moat.
Prince Frederich was not about to let this stop him. He called for
his brother William to come to the other end of the bridge, and once
again, each yelling across, he asked something from inside. This
time, he wanted to know how to make powerful explosives. William, of
course, summoned his alchemist, and the formula was relayed. Army
messengers were again dispatched to nearby villages, this time coming
back with the necessary ingredients. The explosives were set into a
cart, which was set rolling down the newly dug channel toward the
moat. When it had nearly reached the moat, an archer shot a flaming
arrow into the cart and everyone ducked behind something. The blast
was very impressive, and soon water was flowing down the channel
toward the gorge and, more importantly, away from the moat.
The moat was very deep, and the channel had to be dug to deeper
levels several more times before the moat was drained. A fair
quantity of explosive had to be used, too, because much of the
digging had to go through solid rock. Finally, after four days, the
moat was dry. More importantly, there was no sign of any yellow
fingers. Satisfied, Prince Frederich prompty marched across the
drawbridge.
Well, halfway across. Out of nowhere, seven yellow fingers
came up out of the very rock at the bottom of the moat,
siezed poor Frederich, and dragged him down into the moat.
There was no water to drown him, but the fingers solved this
quandry by banging him against the rocks instead, and he was
soon quite dead. Then it disappeared into the rock from
which it had come. Once again the hopes of the kingdom were
broken, and King Gunther and Queen Eioloaieu were nearly
inconsolable, as this was the fifth child they had lost to
the wretched fingers. Surely this much greif had never come
upon the kingdom before!
From amid the weeping crowd a figure stepped forward, and began to
usher the crowd aside. "I need room," he said. It was Prince Henry.
King Gunther immediately tried to stop him. "Don't you think we've
had enough greif for one day?"
"Father," replied Henry, "with all due respect, everyone who has been
seized by this yellow blight has lingered upon the bridge. All have
either stood there or walked across slowly. If someone were to move
across with sufficient speed, the fingers would be too slow to catch
him.
His father thought about this for a moment. "Surely you wouldn't
risk your life to the notion that you can outrun the fingers?"
"No, not I. But I know who can outrun them." Then his father
realised that he was thinking of his horses. He elaborated: "I will
be riding on Ed, and if he cannot outrun the wicked fingers then
there is nothing left for the kingdom to do but to dispair." King
Gunther really couldn't argue with this, and, somewhat apprehensive,
he allowed the prince to continue. Soon all the people had been
cleared from the path, making room for Ed to get a long running
start. Prince Henry began to talk to Ed, explaining that it was
important to run very fast today. Then, after a few warmup laps
around the castle interior, Henry nudged Ed to full speed and headed
toward the drawbridge. For his part, Ed ran faster than he had ever
run before, which was quite fast. According to today's measurements
he was probably moving something like a hundred miles per hour by the
time he reached the drawbridge. Surely the fingers could not catch
him moving that fast.
But they did. It happened so fast no one ever saw it, but Ed and
Henry never made it to the other side. King Gunther and Queen
Eioloaieu were far beyond sorrow by this point, and they simply stood
there looking stunned. Finally the king decided that he had had
enough, and he decreed that no one should try to cross the bridge any
more.
Later that week funeral services were held for all those who had
perished at the hands (or fingers, actually) of the menace in the
moat. They were all decreed tragic heroes, and medals of valor were
awarded post-mortem. This did little to cheer anyone up, but it
seemed appropriate. Then the king and queen went into mourning and
asked not to be disturbed.
For several weeks no one bothered them, and no one had the audacity
to attempt crossing the moat by any means. Finally, however, food
supplies began to run low in the castle, and the people began to go
hungry. Even Prince Gregory's skills were unable to stretch and
multiply the food into great meals, and the rations became monotonous
and feeble. Then the food supplies ran out entirely, since no food
could be brought in over the moat, and everyone went hungry, even the
king. Eventually he decided that something would need to be done
about this, but he had no idea what. So he called in his council of
advisors, headed by his oldest remaining son William.
"How can we get food?" he asked his wise son.
His son thought for a moment and said, "Someone will have to bring it
from the farms -- across the moat." This seemed impeccably logical,
but the king began to dispair.
"But it cannot be done! I have no one left to send!"
"Have you no one left at all?" William prompted.
"None but my page boy", the king sarcastically replied.
William was silent for a moment, then looked straight into his
father's eyes and spoke softly: "Send him."
Well, naturally King Gunther knew that he would only be sending his
page boy to his death, but he reasoned that the boy could just as
well die here in the castle of starvation if nothing were tried,
so against his own judgement he decided to follow the odd advise of
his son, and he asked his page boy to please cross the drawbridge and
bring food back from one of the nearby farms or villages. For no
particular reason he gave him a fair sum of money in case he should
get there, figuring that he had nothing better to do with the money,
since it was impossible to cross the bridge and spend it.
The boy left the king and, taking the money, headed for the bridge.
King Gunther did not even watch the boy go, not wanting to see him
die. Thus, he was surprised several hours later when the boy
returned, pulling a large cart loaded with food. "How did you make
it across?" he asked incredulously.
"I just went," said the boy, "and the yellow fingers stayed in the
moat and didn't bother me!"
Pleased beyond all hope, King Gunther promptly handed the boy a much
larger sum of money and instructed him by all means to have another
go at that technique. And soon the boy returned, with an even larger
cart of food, but he complained that he had a hard time pulling it
all, and asked if perhaps another page could be hired to assist him
if he were to repeat this on a regular basis. Naturally the king was
more than happy to grant this request.
But King Gunther was mystified as to exactly why it was that the boy
had succeeded where all others had failed, and he called back in his
son William who had first advised him to send the boy, and asked him
to explain. But William would not answer his questions and would
only say, "Let your Pages do the Walking through the Yellow Fingers."
Booo! Hisss! Get off the stage!
> The moat was very deep, and the 2channel had to be dug to deeper
levels several more times before the moat was drained.
fixed
lol
> The moot was very deep, and the 4channel had to be restarted several more times before the moot was drained.
fixed
lol
Oh fuck you.
That was the worst... God awfulest. I can't believe I fell for that.
tl;dr
Why do you think we care about your lowered mental capacity?
lol