> using the grapheme <s> for the phoneme /z/ is wrong on so many levels.
Also important to watch out for a slippery slope that we could fall down here. Do you suggest that we "revize" the English language?
I'm normally a pedantic fuck, but I have bigger things to worry about than American fuckupisation of my language.
Know what we should be talking about? Forget this US vs. rest-of-civilised world shit. What shits me more is this homie nigga street jive talk crap that assaults my ears, and I'm not even anywhere near the US.
Know what? This is rant material.
Hey, listen to me for a moment. I know it's got nothing to do with american vs. british english on the net, but just listen. Yesterday I went for a walk down the street to go to the supermarket. Yes, that supermarket, the Woolworths on the corner. The place was so crowded I was in a queue for hours.
Then I heard one of the checkout chicks say "That'll be one dollar fifty". Then the guy said "haha lol kthx brb" and went digging in his bag to scrounge up some change. I though to myself, geez, this is fucking amazing. People like you don't normally even leave the house. And then a bastard like you comes here for something worth a dollar fifty. Just a dollar fifty. ONE FREAKIN' FIFTY!! Then I heard another guy. Four of them actually. All here at the supermarket. So much for convenience. Then one of them said "zOMG lololol rofl, k one sec d00d". I couldn't believe it. Are you out of your fucking mind!? Shiiit, I'll pay your dollar-fifty if you shut your goddamned mouth and get away from me.
Dude, you don't go to the supermarket and start talking shit like that. It's where you pick a fight with someone in the next aisle because they got the last bottle of soy sauce. Kill or be killed, you know? That's what I expect.
Women and children should stay away, because thing's are gonna get fucked up now. After ages I finally get to the checkout. But then the guy at the register says to me "hey, brother, how's it hangin', nigga?" How the fuck can you say "how's it hangin'" with that "i just got out of prison" tattoo on our arm!?!? Damn! I was THIS close to saying to his face "GODDAMMIT, MAN, CAN'T YOU FUCKING SPEAK ENGLISH?!" All the way home I was THIS CLOSE to going back there and doing that.
Shit, I bet you wanted to say "brother" out loud. Oh, you're, like, so fucking cool. Sir, you need to be like me. See, I know how to communicate in English. What's cool right now is punctuation. That's it. You see, using commas and stops is what literate people do. Like ME. Using punctuation means what you say is a bit longer, but with a WHOLE LOT of coherency. Mm, punctuation and correct spelling. Now that's what I call communication.
Anyway, speaking like that can be a bit of a double-edged sword. 'Cause next time you're in the "hood" with all your "brothas", they might get suspicious and think you're not "keepin' it real, yo". So yeah, I can't recommend this for all you "niggas". For you guys, just try to use peoples' name every once in a while. Not everyone is related to you, you know what I'm saying?