This thread is welcome to all sorts of problems you might be having with your significant other. You can get advice or made fun of about approaching someone you're interested in, figuring out a problem in your relationship, or just what to do next. Serious posts are encouraged, but we can all have fun too!
i am curious about online dating.
in 5 days, my girlfriend and i will have been together for 6 months.
we are dating over the internet, and have never met each other.
She has given me two gifts. One was a picture of a drawing she made for me. another was just an ms paint drawing.
I am no good at artwork, be it CG or hand drawn. She isn't he kind of girl who would like it if I made her a little program, though I do have a lot of programming knowledge, so maybe something creative with that would be best.
I just do not know what to do for her.
For her birthday, christmas, and a few anniversarys, i'd love to give her a little present, but its hard since I can't just go out to the store and buy something, or make her something by hand like a teddy bear or something dumb like that.
So, what suggestions do you have, 4-ch?
Do you have any experince with this kind of thing, or any good ideas?
>>2
I've dated girls I met on the internet and let me say that you cannot call anyone your girlfriend if you haven't either shagged or lived together for a reasonable ammount of time.
hmmm... no experience in online dating...
but maybe from all the conversations you've had with her,
there was an ongoing joke or something that only you two would understand.
from that idea, you can think of something?
i think she will appreciate that.
other idea is to go see her, in face, if it is possible?
I wanted to post in this thread, but just thinking about writing down my problems made me depressed.
orz
Did you not expect this thread to have computer geeks in it? How else are they going to meet someone if they spend all their time in front of the computer?
>>3
It's perfectly possible to call someone your girlfriend without doing that. However, you can't state that it's a stable and serious longterm relationship until you've lived together. Sex may or may not be included, i'd recommend with, but that's just me and my silly, sexually liberal thoughts.
"girlfriend" is a very vague and generic term that can be used for a very wide variety of cases.
>>2
Ooo. Congratulations.
And can't you employ math/programs to create art for her? Either hardcode something to plot a lot of vectors that make up an image, or use a CAD program to draw her a model, preferably 3d perhaps? Otherwise >>4
has good ideas. Making refences to insider jokes or something personal is always good. Perhaps something she's a fan of? Or better yet, a reference something you two have said/done?
> It's perfectly possible to call someone your girlfriend without doing that.
i.e. "It's perfectly possible to be silly and throw around terms that thereby become meaningless".
Here's a thread that contains some interesting observations by single and non-single men in world4ch Lounge.
Who here has been single all their life.
http://www.world4ch.org/read.php/lounge/1127520998/
I'll get around to posting some of my own [relationship][love] stories in this thread eventually. It has a lot more potential than 4chan!
>>2
You could always write her a poem (*´д｀*) It's the classic way to success.
>>10
Poems are gimmicks. You'd have to be a damn good poet (or a damn good orator) to win somebody over with a poem.
>>8
A lot of teenagers have girlfriends they don't fuck/live with.
Even kids that are perhaps only 13 have hooked up with a female classmate and thus gotten a girlfriend.
There are also a lot of people like Mil [ http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/ ] whose girlfriend is a permanent partner for life, whom they even have children with, to show the other end of the spectrum.
Just because a word is diverse doesn't mean it is meaningless.
"Love" includes a wide variety of meanings, is it worthless now?
You can love a pet, love a movie, love your partner, love your family, etc. The ways you feel affection towards those listed items vary a great deal. Yet it doesn't make any of them less valid.
I'm a girl and I think that she would appreciate anything that you do for her. If you guys met on the internet, then that means there's a complete personality attraction. That means that, anything you give her that's from your heart will definitely mean something to her.
Don't try to be anything you're not. Just give her something that says it's from you. I know she'll like it.
>I'm a girl and
lol, Densha Otoko style.
of course! ^_^
What is a good way to find out what a girl thinks about you without being obvious that I want to find out what she thinks about me?
>>18
I like how you changed from "you" to "I" quickly there.
My girlfriend won't put out. :(
>>20
I want to say "lurk more", but you probably just need some more practice in the whole love business department skills.
well, if you want to find out if a girl thinks about you, but you may not have awesome social skills (most nerds like us don't - I don't really, honestly) then you might wanna learn how to pick up on body language and generally notice how she acts around other people vs. how she acts around you.
for me, if I like a guy, I'm always smiling around him unless something's wrong. Also, I find myself tucking my hair behind my ear freqeuntly during the conversation.
A good way for guys to get me to open up about my feelings is to talk about dreams. There are a lot of things that go on in dreams as far as the subconscious. You can find lots of dream dictionaries online too! Talking about dreams can bring up a lot of conversations. You might end up talking about aspirations for the future or what she does at night before she goes to bed.
I like it when a guy throws in humor when talking about dreams. Something like "I know I'm in there somewhere, right?" or if she mentions a good looking person say something like "oh! that would be me!"
Hokey, I know, but I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff.
about your gf not puting out. That really bites. I had a bf who wouldn't give me anything for 5 months and then we split. turns out that he was cheating on me (like pretty much all of the others did - nothing ever changes in my life).
but, for that... try something romantic. Like rose petals on the bed ro draw her a bath - she just might be stressed and needs to relax. Find out why she's not puting out. She's prolly just having stress annoying her from work and it's prolly just following her around or something like that. If I've ever not been in the mood, that's usually the problem and it's always nice to have someone drop everythihng he/she was doing in order to make me relaxed and unstressed.
Or just flat out ask her "hey! what's going on here?!"
That works too. A little more direct, but... some people are more direct than others.
about your gf not puting out. That really bites. I had a bf who wouldn't give me anything for 5 months and then we split. turns out that he was cheating on me (like pretty much all of the others did - nothing ever changes in my life).
but, for that... try something romantic. Like rose petals on the bed ro draw her a bath - she just might be stressed and needs to relax. Find out why she's not puting out. She's prolly just having stress annoying her from work and it's prolly just following her around or something like that. If I've ever not been in the mood, that's usually the problem and it's always nice to have someone drop everythihng he/she was doing in order to make me relaxed and unstressed.
Or just flat out ask her "hey! what's going on here?!"
That works too. A little more direct, but... some people are more direct than others.
( ;; ﾟДﾟ) I can't keep up with this, too much info at once!
sakura_inverse is a great source of information! (･∀･)
lol
sorry - guess my girl ways just make me blurt everything out a lot...
lol man I'm a girl, and if some guy asked me about my dreams I would think "ug what is this guy feeding me some line for. Did he read that in some magazine as a good way to pick up girls?"
But then again I'm not a normal girl I guess haha, when guys flirt with me and try to flatter me, seem sensitive, or buy stuff for me, I just think he is a lamer being fake as if I'll like him for that.
This is probably not good advice though, seeing as that is probably why I do not have a boyfriend myself.
A good way to tell if a girl likes you, maybe, is to call her. See if she wants to just idly chat on the phone or not. Girls are blabber mouths and will probably be pretty happy to chat on the phone forever with you if they like you. Plus it's a good way to have a one on one conversation without it being "date-like" so you don't have to push that boundary.
>>26
sorry? no, no, keep going :3
>>24
My social skills are mediocre at best, but I think I manage to keep myself fairly neat and BO-free. If I stumble into chit-chat with a girl I want to know more about, how do I keep her talking without awkward pauses or it sounding like an interrogation? How does one allow a conversation to flow naturally between topics? For example, how would I keep you going on about the subject?
if you don't mind a bit of advice from here,
just ask questions about her.
once she starts blabbering on about a topic, listen.
and then if it's a topic you're familiar with, have input.
but don't say too much, you'd rather have her do the talking.
you put in your input when you feel the conversation is slowing.
if you have no idea what she's talking about, then ask her to explain to you.
i reckon the girl will enjoy telling you about something she likes...
if she starts talking non-sense that means she likes you.
I'm a girl and i really don't like to idly chat on the phone. IRL or online is good though.
>I like it when a guy throws in humor when talking about dreams. Something like "I know I'm in there somewhere, right?" or if she mentions a good looking person say something like "oh! that would be me!"
That sorta stuff really really doesn't work for me. Would seem intrusive and laying it on thick. Which is a bad thing.
So yes, in other words, try to figure out what kinda behaviour she'd like.
And remember, some people are just hellbent on not having sex before marriage, and they will get greatly offended if you try too much. If they don't want to, then getting nagged about it will only make them pissed off about it.
Be cuddly, no strings attached, let her take things in her own pace. Offer doing stuff that isn't hardcore sex, but just feels really nice. That may get her interested in experiencing more.
And remember, making people feel relaxed is always a good thing.
If you listen to women's advice on women like >>32 you'll fail for sure. Look at how well women are getting along with each other. peh.
Just listen to me, you gotta push yourself onto them a little. You'll get the hang of it after a few tries.
Absolute advice/trolling like in >>33 is a bad thing, since there's no definite formula for (maybe-soon-to-be) relationships..
I suggest trial and error. Sure, it might backfire in your face but I think it's the best way to get to know him/her better, plus it keeps things interesting :O.
How should i get in contact with girls.
I only know 1 girl , but that is my firned ,and i do not concider her a potensial gf-
Recently i fell in love with a ggirl , but at the day i deided that i was going to tell her , i found out that she had a bg. And now i don't feel anthing special(maybe some , but not as much as before)
But then agian we had nothing in common , so i wonder how do i find the girl that i can talk with and also fall in love with.
I agree with >>32 (and I'm a guy :p)
I'm one of those hellbent people.
I don't care about sex. Well, I do, but not so much that I'd make its absence a deal-breaker. I can respect someone who wants to be celibate. For now I just want to find someone I can make some kind of connection with. And maybe cuddle a bit when we sit together. (u_u) <-so embarrassed
damn you, wakamark! should look like this (*u_u*)
thank you for your advice, sakura_inverse, and everyone else. I'm going to do something, I still don't know what.
My girlfriend isn't exactly your typical girl. She has different ways of expressing emotion. In fact, as far as convential roles go, I'd say i'm more of the girl -_-. a lot more affectionate, things like that...
Our 6 month anniversary just passed, like I said in >>2. I was touched when she IM'd yelling "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" something that she's forgotten a few times in the past, though I know it isn't too important. But, she thought it was our 4 month mark, but logs showed that was indeed 6 -_-. Oh well, I'm just glad she remembered.
But it's just different ways of expressing love.
Anyway, I'm probably rambling!
I still don't know what to do for 1 year, but your suggestions have helped. I think I'll just go with sakura_inverse.
Thanks!
>something that she's forgotten a few times in the past, though I know it isn't too important. But, she thought it was our 4 month mark, but logs showed that was indeed 6
You've been counting an anniversary every month?
shouldent this tread be moved to http://4-ch.net/love/
It should, yeah.