I have a wussy kind of revenge story.

This cow of a bitch of a human, we'll call her Wendy P., really gave me a hard time in the ninth grade, much like everyone else did. However, after two fistfights and entering into the tenth, I started to get a little respect. Basically, the teasing revolved around me and my habit of talking to myself. It's not that I would hold conversation with myself or anything, I just think out loud.

Anyway, for tenth grade I had Art class as an elective. I'm not particularly talented when it comes to drawing, painting, or any of that. But, I figured, it's an easy "A" and the class would be fun to cut up in.

One day, Wendy P., whom I didn't have a class with that year, came in during her lunch period to talk to a friend. When she saw me, she made this feeble attempt to be funny and asked whether I had an imaginary friend because I talk to myself so much. This was a standard tease many people used against me. At the time, I didn't think much on it and just called her an "unoriginal fat bitch."

As her lunch period was ending, she left and I couldn't be happier to watch her wide load waddle out the door. But, lo and behold, she had left her English book behind. When I saw it, I decide to steal it.

Oddly enough, no one noticed when I picked up the book -not even her friend who was sitting right next to it. Then I decided to press my luck. We were working on making plaster masks at the time, so the teacher was occupied as I slipped out one of the side doors and ran to the trash bins behind the cafeteria. There I chunked the book into the bin, made a dash back to my classroom, and no one noticed I was even gone or that I was panting.

A few weeks later she came into the classroom again and, with red, watery eyes, she asked the teacher whether she had seen her English book because, "she knew she left it in this classroom!"

I overheard this and just laughed to myself.

So, if by some freak chance Wendy P. is reading this, I stole your English book and I threw away with whatever assignments and papers you had in it, you fucking fat, loathsome whore. I hope it held you back a grade, you cunt.