So picture this, your girlfriend cheats on you in the bed you both share. You've lived together for a year, she always drones on about commitment yet decides she wants to whore herself while you manage to squeeze out a night to spend with neglected friends. Cept it's not so secret anymore because you've found the sheets before she managed to turn the washer on. And she doesn't know.

Revenge advice please? I might as well make this as sweet as possible. I'll be dropping her ass soon enough.
Perhaps someone knows of a flavorless, soluble powder that helps pile on the pounds?