1- Software:

• Choose a browser and spend a day messing around with the tools & menus to learn how to use it fast.

Main choices: firefox, opera, slimbrowser, avant browser

• Get a download resumer such as gozilla or flashget
• Choose an email client if you like to have your emails on your computer
• Learn to use notepad or download editpadlite for editing & saving text (CTRL+C=copy, CTRL+V=paste, CTRL+X=cut)
• Learn to use msPaint or the gimp for making crappy macros & doodles.
• Download all of these to protect your computer: spybotsearch & destroy, spyware blaster, ad-aware, avg antivirus, a firewall (windows has one already), registry cleaner . Check them & windowsupdate.com for updates once a week.

2- Identity:

• Invent a short, pronouncable nickname that is like a name more than a description and which is fairly unique (not animefan2k but something more like your name shortened with something about you such as mike_dnb or sebloveschii)
• Get two email addresses:

one for personal emails (gmail is cool)
one for spam stuff like signing up for newsletters or joining forums (hotmail)

• Make yourself a believable fictional surname & address for if you plan to purchase a domain or join sites that require an address.
• Learn to make passwords & make a clue card: by using the initials of catchphrases or quotes, by choosing numbers you like (other than your DOB), by writing names backwards. The clue card will have a word that refers to your password without stating the password.
• Never ever give out personal information such as your surname, home address or phone number. Keep any blog entries that relate to sensitive events or facts about you very secret and only given out to people you wholly trust.
• If someone stalks you or ridiculises you by finding out personal information about you then there is nothing you can do, no law suits no nothing! Just change email address & nickname and come back afresh only notifying your closest, truest friends if anyone.

3- Be web smart:

• Bookmark these: google, wikipedia & imdb to look up any words, concepts, bands, movies that you don't yet know about.
• If you ever have technical questions: google them (paste the error message & what you were using into the search form)
• Use wikipedia to learn the basics of which ever web system you plan to frequent (example: learning IRC commands or nettiquette).
• Learn a small amount of html & bbcode for forum use
• Find out what acronyms (such as YHBT) mean from urbandictionary.com
• Always read the FAQ & stickied threads (lurking) before posting.
• Learn about Spam, get a client or email rules to get rid of it before it wastes your precious time.
• Your computer remembers everywhere you've visited & files you have saved, if you share a computer then clean up after yourself if you don't want to be exposed. Clean the cache, cookies, forms, passwords, history etc... learn to password protect or hide your sensitive files.

4- Don't be fooled:

• Learn the names of the major shock sites & sexual fetish sites from wikipedia & avoid them. (tubgirl, bmextreme, ogrish etc)
• Mouseover links and look at the statusbar address before clicking.
• Only purchase goods on websites that have "https://www.NameofWebsite.com" NOT just "http://"or "http://numbers"
• Get a paypal account so you don't use your credit card number directly.
• Read guides & FAQs before using ebay, amazon etc and lookup minor companies on google to see if they have bad reviews before purchasing from them.
• Find out about email scams & phishing, train yourself to recognize subtle advertising & "too good to be true" offers.
• Look up trolling, fandom 'wank' and the main techniques used to troll so you don't get caught up in petty arguments or get too upset by internet drama. People lie a lot, people stir up arguments, some people are pretty messed up in their emotions & beliefs: Everyone who has been on the internet has seen a whole load of headcases and at first we get affected by this but you have to learn to "prune" your chat or email friends, your groups or even an whole area of fandom if it's causing you frustration or wasting your time.
• Don't try to humble queenbees who are experts at whatever thing your community is in to. That's probably their only main talent, it's a waste of time to spend hours & hours reading about transformers/linux/politics just to feel less dumb in front of a wierdo who has devoted his life to that subject. It's ok to be imperfect and ignorant, it's ok to be a n00b even if they claim you should know the names of all the Sailor moon girls, the first drummer of some band or the strange origins & exact pronunciation of a obscure meme.

5- Extras:

• Learn the minimum necessary: no need to learn expert design + valid coding if you want to just have a blog. In the end what counts is the text, the content. Some of the best websites are plain text with a bit of styling. In the same way, you don't need to know the history of Usenet to chat there, just sit back and watch a while to see what not to do.
• Internet is a only medium, a means of communication. While chatting with friends online can be a deep soul to soul experience, nothing replaces real life and having real people round for a meal. Try to use what you have learnt socially on the web in your real life & stepping out towards others instead of gradually closing in to live on the web like so many do. It's never too late to make new aquaintances and if you need a good opportunity try a convention, club or store where people share your interests.
• Depending on the community, some people will be particularly emotional, proud, shallow, rude, hurtful, prude, opinionated or explicit, they might even be perverted or rascist. Don't react to this, that just makes it worse. Either get used to it & adapt your behaviour to them or find somewhere more suited to your character. No need to waste your energy getting upset or conforming to a place where you will never be comfortable.
• There is no internet law, only sites with pictures of child porn can be taken down by authorities so if someone steals your name, work, secrets or hacks your website then the only thing you can do is a/ignore it or b/use peer pressure.
• Relax, chill, take it easy. Unless actual monetary or physical harm is done then all the internet can do to you depends onthe way you handle things. Try to laugh off insults and horrid images. Focus on constructive aquaintances & comments. Feel free to ignore and leave behind all that brings you down regardless of whether you still have one or two friends there or of hurting a person who has hurt you. After all is said and done you can always switch off and never come back if you don't want to.
• You are never truly anonymous on the internet: your IP is recorded by any website you visit so don't post shit at people thinking they can't track you down. If you need to troll, get a proxy & don't use anything that could trace back to you (nickname, catchphrases, email, personal vendetta...)
• Any search term will bring up porn & adverts. There is porn of everything, nothing is sacred. Whatever you are looking at, be it a fork or a tv show, be sure that somewhere in the world, someone is turned on by & whacking off to it.

Happy internet browsing.
~ Anonymous
"If something can be done, the japanese will do it better and have a fetish dedicated to it"

PS: Avoid anything that mentions furry, hentai, loli, yaoi, slash, emo or scat (they are full of aids)