Seriously, I just caught a thief.
He was sneaking in through the back window, and I was coming home and heard noises so I got my bat. It was crazy, I made small noises but he was still working the locks, so I just whacked him! And I kept going for a few times because I didn't want him to get my bat. Anyways, someone called the police and everything is squared away and fine now.
I'm so on edge, but I feel great too. Like no one is as great as me this moment right here, and the first person I think to tell is 4-ch.