What did the idiot children ask today? (12)

1 Name: !64aA42FWtk : 2012-11-19 10:55 ID:rNNMCDSt

My roommate is a high school history teacher. We used to exchange boring pleasantries each evening, but now I eagerly greet him with: What did the idiot children ask today? The questions and (sometimes) answers posted here are going to be his hidden second-hand shadow blog that he doesn't even know about.

The students are provided with an open forum before each class in which they can ask questions about things they've seen on TV and the Internet. This is necessary because much of their information regarding "history" comes from the History Channel. Obviously, they're confused as their textbooks seem to imply that alien conspiracies are NOT at the core of every major historical event.

I'll try to keep this updated at least weekly until the school year ends. Please bear in mind that the children aren't necessarily idiots, I just call them that because I'm immature and rude. You may also notice that the topics rarely involve history.

2 Name: !64aA42FWtk : 2012-11-19 11:09 ID:rNNMCDSt

Q: Are mermaids real?

If you found your palm on your face, that's OK. It's perfectly natural. Evidently, there was an Animal Planet "documentary" which this kid had seen called Mermaids: The Body Found. It's in the same category as the Animal Planet show Lost Tapes, meaning entirely fictional.

A: Absolutely not. You can put anything on TV and just lie about it; even on Animal Planet.

The answer devolved into revealing a fact that shook the very foundations of their reality: that the movie Paranormal Activity isn't real.

3 Name: !64aA42FWtk : 2012-11-19 11:32 ID:rNNMCDSt

Q: You know that packet of stuff that comes with beef jerky? Should I eat that?
A: It says "do not eat" for a reason.

Basically, the kid wanted to know if that stuff was dangerous to be near his beef jerky but he just worded it wrong. They had to go into details, of course.

The manufacturer is not going to put anything that's a deadly poison in with food because someone will eat it eventually. It might make you sick, but wouldn't kill you. And no, it will not make you high. This is the follow-up to every question involving almost any household product.

4 Name: !64aA42FWtk : 2012-11-21 07:29 ID:chM/s8fw

Q: There are people who have prophetic dreams and predict the future. I saw it on fivedoves.com. (This is not a question)
A: That site is by crazy people for crazy people. Don't believe anything they have to say.

Don't worry, the kid never lost faith and remains a believer!

(seriously, check it out. It's insane)

5 Name: Anonymous : 2012-11-21 15:16 ID:aW8Slh/K

Christ, where the hell does he teach, some backward third world country?

6 Name: !64aA42FWtk : 2012-11-22 12:52 ID:rNNMCDSt

>>5
We're getting there (USA). It's a public school. About half the students are Hispanic, most are US-born, but their parents not so much. Many speak Spanish at home, not English. This obviously leads to some difficulty in educating them. Don't think this is like Stand and Deliver or something. These kids are generally well-behaved, though very much misinformed.

One kid had a question regarding the never-ending conflict in Palestine. This led to a brief discussion of the history behind Israel, all the wars that led to the loss of Palestinian territory, how both sides have been overtaken by religious zealots, and how it's basically an ongoing disaster with no easy resolution. Following that, we get:

Q: What exactly is the New World Order?
A: [facepalm] Remember that one for after break, k?

HAVE A SAFE HOLIDAY, KIDS. Remember: don't eat anything that clearly says "DO NOT EAT."

7 Post deleted.

8 Post deleted.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2012-11-27 20:39 ID:FLXtKRCt

>>7>>8

OP, do any of your students believe in witch doctors?

10 Name: Anonymous : 2012-12-07 00:39 ID:o9lI+wfs

>>9
They aren't his students, although this might just be a ruse to avoid flak if this backfires on him

These are excellent by the way

11 Name: !64aA42FWtk : 2012-12-12 13:13 ID:rNNMCDSt

Strangely, they've been on topic and asking boring things about real history/current events. The only thing of note:

Q: What kind of music do you like?
A: Uh, a little of everything?
Q: Do you like Taylor Swift?
A: No, not really.
Q: That's OK. No one likes Taylor Swift.

I don't know why I found this funny.

>>9 Witch doctors?

Well, with the immigrant population follows the "Botanica" which sells all matter of magic oils and crystals. This is what passes for medicine in parts of Mexico. Read up on it or visit one if you the opportunity presents itself. It's basically a witch doctor with a storefront. How many believe it? Don't know. I'm sure a lot of their parents do, though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bot%C3%A1nica

12 Name: !64aA42FWtk : 2012-12-12 13:24 ID:rNNMCDSt

Oh yeah, and also regarding witch doctors:

They sell some crazy medical devices on late night Spanish-language television. If you want to sell a wand of multicolored LEDs that cures cancer, that's the place to do it. The FTC/FDA aren't watching and those ripped off are unwilling to complain.

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