Damn..I think OP is referring to me.
On the machines I'll do 10-15 kg..depends what machine.
But for dumbbells I'll use 2kg or less.
My guy friend told me to use smaller weights and do them alot of times if I wanted tone, but not hulky muscles.
I just started going this year, and I still find it intimidating cos I don't know if it's just me, but it always feels like someone's watching in our gym.