Since when i was a kid in kindergarden i didn't like to participate in social or group activities that people held. When people are talking together or doing some sort of activity together i always feels as thoguh i must get farther away and not become part of it. I am more comfortable being seperated, the only thing that makes me feel uncomfortable is that someone might say something about me not being apart of a group. Is there a name for this behavior??
hikikomori
hikkikomori is when you never ever get out of the house and don't talk to anyone and do this for more than six months or so. stop using the word lightly okay.
>>1
It all depends on the reason you do it. If you just prefer to usually be alone, and you can talk to people sometimes when you have to (small groups or people you've known a long time) and it doesn't negatively affect your life in any other way -- then it's just introversion, which is perfectly fine. There are various books out there that explain that in more detail, look for one called The Introvert Advantage.
If you do it because you experience anxiety or fear, that's different. It could be anything from lack of social skills/confidence, to full-on social anxiety disorder. If it's based on fear, it's best to face it. It could also be part introversion, part fear.
Ultimately, it's about what you want. Are you concerned because you're feeling external pressure to act the way you're 'supposed to,' or do you really want to join those groups but feel that something is in your way?
>>4
sometimes i feel external pressure mainly when i have to speak, but i just posted to see what its called to read more about it.
just social anxiety, not everyone in the world is a full blown social machine extrovert.
Hikikomori is serious social dysfunction and withdrawal, but can hikki-chan be for the more lighter varieties too? because I like to call myself a hikki-chan, but I'm not as cave-pale as some of you.
Sometimes when visiting people I feel a strong urge to go home and be by myself. It mostly happens when I've been away several hours, as if I've be too socializing or something.
I don't like to socialize for a very long amount of time without a break, because usually I acquire lots of new knowledge while socializing, and I want to be able to file it away, as it were. Also think about it in detail. I spend much more time thinking than talking to people.
>>9
I feel the same way. I also often say no to going out, so that I'll be able to stay home and be by myself. I feel guilty about it afterwards, but still feel good about choosing to stay home rather than going out.
>>1 do you sometimes feel an urge to hug someone?
i'm not >>1 but I do
I never act on it though, I am too shy
I never have the urge but when someone hugs me, I hug them back a little too earnestly
>>11
I do that too :(
Fuck. Sometimes I have a heavy aversion, and other times I really want to be with people. I always love the feeling of coming home and being relatively alone, aside from family.
About that hugging thing... now that you mention it, I do sometimes feel urges, albeit rarely. I guess I don't do it because I don't want to invade someone else's personal space.
I sometimes feel like I'm Holden Caulfield in Cather in the Rye by J.D.Salinger. All around me are these phonies! And I'm one of them too, and it sickens me at times!
Oh god
Who would want to reveal their real selves to the world?
>>8 seems to be elevating hikkikomori to a sort of pedestal. It's not a desireable state of being or something to want to associate oneself with.
>I like to call myself a hikki-chan,
>stop using the word lightly okay.
If you have social anxiety, fine. If you're a loner, fine. Don't treat a serious disfunction as the latest trendy disease.
>>19
Holy fuck, how did you not die? Eating sugar is worse for your nourishment than eating nothing...
Let's just say shitting was no fun
eating nothing but sugar is awesome.
almost as good as eating nothing but salt.
But not as good as only eatting your own excrement
i am someone who prefers my own company rather than others. as a result, in my life right now i can only count one person as a true friend. in the course of our 3 years of friendship, we rarely meetup and never talk on the phone. we regularly communicate through long emails. even so, i know he will always be there for me 'cause he has proven that many times. i'm glad to have one really great friend rather than many acquaintances.
also it means i have much more time for myself!