Fill in the blank as appropriate. Has this thought ever crossed your mind? And if it has, how do you deal with it?
I'm in my late twenties and I've had a total of one relationship in my life. It was quite serious and went on for a few years, but other than that, I've been unattached. To be honest, if it had been entirely up to me, I wouldn't have even been with that girl - she was the one who pursued me. Every time we went to bed, I felt like I was performing a duty that I took no pleasure in.
So I'm happy to be single again. And I'm not really lonely, because I haven't desired any woman for years now. I've even been on a couple of dating matchmaking bullshit things at the insistence of family members, but none of the women there did a single thing for me. Of course my family is hounding me now, and I'm pretty sure my father thinks I'm gay. Can anyone relate to feeling different, like you're a freak?
I can definitely relate. When I was younger my family really wanted me to find a nice guy, date him and marry him, and probably have kids. That really isn't my speed, and they didn't understand. Since I found out I can't have children, they got a little less pushy about it
Really, it's just important that you realize it's your life, you can do whatever makes you happy. If you're not lonely and if you want to be single, that's your deal. Others opinions don't really matter. (I mean, they do to a certain extent but..)
Overall it's just someone judging your choices.
And it isn't and shouldn't be an issue that should effect your decisions.
Once again, it's your life, not anyone else, and whatever makes you happy makes you happy.
My girlfriend and I got that one time towards my bro. For years, he hung out with so many girls but didn't want to date any (unless he was forced to). One day, I was driving him around town when I asked him about an old MySpace friend looking for a roommate. When I mentioned it to him, the first thing he said was: "Is she hot?"
Well...that answered our question...
well im a black female who is REALLY atracttive (no, seriously. i take after the native american side a= bit) and i've found out i like asians alot. but the ones i know are only really dating whites. =(
where would i find asians who like blacks in Virginia?
Decora-chan your comment on:
"well im a black female who is REALLY atracttive (no, seriously. i take after the native american side a= bit)..."
I find this comment SOOOO STUPID and prejudice! What, black girls have to be mixed in order to be attractive? GET REAL!!!!!
>>39
Thoroughbred black women always turned me off for their uncanny resemblance to apes.
@ secret admirer WTF!! " throughbred black women have an unncacnny resenmblance to apes...R U SERIOUS! U get on someone for making a racist comment but u turn around n basically call us monkeys....ur so dang ignorant!
i am a teen black girl who would like to date asian males, but where i live and go to school, you don't see that at all. i rarely see black girls and asian males date which sucks. i have no problem dating my race or another, but i would love to date a asian male aleast
>>40
strokes beard, nods
asains have small penis, why would you want to date asian?
>>43
I don't know. I wouldn't date myself because of that.
Hi, Annastashia
I am a Asian in Pittsburgh, email me if you like yxl184@gmail
Im pretty open to many races but to me blacks and koreans is a interesting combination. i am a black girl and i would be open to getting toKnow a korean. shoot !! email me kyrahayes02@gmail.com
Dont give up, im Hispanic and i would LOVE to date an asian. There so beautiful, Exotic and delicate, like fine porcelain. lol. Plus think of the babies(: a mixed asian baby OMG SOOOOOO CAAAYUUUTEEEE<3 LMAO
I don't know much about this stuff. I haven't really told many people. I really like a girl I have no confidence to talk to. I'm looking for outside help...Let me know if you are interested and I will continue posting...
She is out of my league in my opinion. Beautiful. That's all I know as of now. The problem is that I can't talk to her. I just want to get to know her :(
Just go up to her and say hello.
Back in my guitar class, if there was a guy I wanted to talk to,
I would just go 'Hey. I haven't seen you before. Which batch do you belong to?'. And conversations just sails after that :)
My biggest problem is that I want it to be perfect. I am afraid to mess things up :(
>>5
Just go up to her. Be confident and let it radiate off you :)
Say hello and ask her what's up. Simplest way to start.
In my experience- You only mess up when you're afraid. So be brave, my friend :)
I will try. I am not sure the next time I will see her.
So I talked to her...Here's what happened: (I go to Kent State University by the way. So you know I'm in the 20's age group.)
I went to the football game last night in Detroit. She was two rows in front of where I sat. I didn't talk to her the entire night. I must have just got tired of waiting because I talked to her today at the basketball game. Throughout the entire game, I was nervous etc...Game ended. So all my friends left. I stood by the room where the girls come out after the game. I waited about 10 or 15 minutes, and she was one of the last girls to walk out. I saw her and couldn't say anything. So she walked right past me. Then, I decided I had enough and went after her. I said "Excuse me. This is probably really weird, but do you want to go have dinner with me?" She said she couldn't and she had a boyfriend. I told her that if she ever wanted to go to at least get to know each other to let me know. We exchanged names and that was that.
:/
(Kent State University- It rings a bell because I know about the Protesters story :( )
Good on you for mustering up some courage to go and talk to her, I'll give you that.
You exchanged names. You can keep in touch with her if you still want to get to know her. But if it makes you feel bad, you don't have to.
As an extra note, don't feel disheartened OP shoulder pat
I am going to wait for her I think, but I'm not going to waste my life over her. I will let her initiate getting together with me since she has a boyfriend, but if I see her and am near her, I'll say hello. Does that sound like the right way to approach this?
I dated a girl for about a year, and I fell head over heels in love with her. She is the 9th girlfriend I've had in my life, and I can honestly say I have never felt more for a girl till Joyce.
We met through some mutual friends at the Community College in my city, and he is a international student. Long story short, she ends up getting into U-Michigan, which is the school her parents would kill for her to go to, so, she ends up going. A month later, I visit her in Michigan where we decided to break up because through our time apart, we both realized distance wouldn't work for us. I would want to talk to her, she would be completely disinterested, and she was the kind to think "out of sight, out of mind".
It's been almost 6 months since we broke up, and I cant get her out of my mind. The past few months, she's been in my dreams weekly, but since friday I have been dreaming about her every night. Each time a scenario where we meet again after a long time, and get back together. I am starting to worry for my sanity, as I just cant get her out of my head. I want her back, but I know nothing will come of talking to her about it, and bringing it up.
tl;dr
I am still in love with my ex who moved across the country for University.
A recent study has shown that it takes and average of 17 months and 26 days to get over an ex...
Well I don't know if it's true or not, but all that means is sooner or later you will have to get over her.
A thought or feeling can consume you, but eventually you must realize that it is unhealthy... and hopefully you will learn that letting go is the best solution.
Life is all about experiences and obstacles to make us stronger. Take this as an experience, be stronger. You now know what you want in a girl and what you don't want. Use that to your advantage... Hope you feel better soon(hehe sorry for ranting...)
wack off wit some porn for a few days and see if you still have dreams of her or not
masturbate to her. fixed
I'm a member of my schools anime club, and unfortunately at this point, at 27 I'm one of the older members of the club. Schools beginning again, and a flood of freshly graduated high school students (among other new students, can't be sure they are all coming straight from school). So my question is this: there's a girl I rather like in the new members, I don't know her age; but I'm pretty sure she's just out of high school and (presumably) 18. Being something of a social idiot, would it be creepy for me yo try to approach her? I'm not talking about going up to her and straight up asking to date or anything; but then again my social protocols aren't very helpful in these situations.
Please don't be serious.
It's okay for you to enjoy anime at that age.
It's okay for you to be in an anime club at that age. Even if you went to conventions, that'd still be perfectly fine.
But you are not a child anymore. You're interested in a form of entertainment whose demographic is largely people 20 and under. Yes, it would be creepy for you to approach this girl. She is still a child, especially relative to yourself.
Find people your own age.
You might have to grow up. Don't be afraid.
Just step out of your comfort zone.
Generally I don't really see what anime has to do with it (seeing as how aniime kind of has really adult concepts in it like sex, love, rape, death, war, horrific murder) other than it's how you met, but yeah don't get involved with that. I mean, the personality of someone that age has no real depth. Yet. She's still a kid.
>>3
But 18 is not a child and 9 years age difference isn't much.
Why should one find a partner of their own age to begin with? As long as one isn't underage, I don't see a problem. I know many parents with more than 10 years between them. It stops being creepy and socially un-acceptable when the partners are both adults.
Get to know her first, at least. I don't believe age plays much importance, with some exceptions in certain areas, but it can really mess things up if you go after her without thinking.
Once both people are 18, age difference doesn't matter. Or at least, it isn't creepy. It might be unusual, but only in the same way height or race difference are.
Please don't ruin society by making this creepy. 18-year-olds are adults, even if it's fashionable to pretend they aren't. We've already raised the bar from 16 to 18, please don't raise it any higher.
So me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years in university so far. Just recently, about 2 months ago, her mother was diagnosed with cancer from her dad's chain smoking, so technically both her parents have cancer at stage 3-4.
Her family runs a fairly large corporation and she's expected to take over eventually, just not so soon. As of now she's being asked to finish college back home so she can learn to run the business.
I'm actually okay with her flying back home, its only an hour and a half flight from my city to hers, but she doesnt exactly feel easy about the sudden change in her life.
So i'm wondering how to go about the relationship while she's busy finishing her degree back home while working, while i'm finishing mine and planning for law school. Long distance isn't
exactly easy because her parents aren't really fond of me for 3
reasons.
Take it as is? Support her while she goes through some very rough times...
I agree with >>2. Just give her the most love and support you can. You can deal with problems when the time comes, but until then there's no use worrying about what may happen.
She's going to have to deal with both her parents deaths and then suddenly running a corp? Well, you're going to have to give her all the emotional support, and otherwise, that she wants, and needs. I stress the wants part because she'll want her own time to grieve too, probably.
I've been approached by someone (through a mutual friend, of course - because I guess she can't be fucking straightforward with me) who wants to go out. She's perfectly nice, smart, and all that. I get the feeling her personality and mine wouldn't mesh so well. She's the extremely active type, while I would rather slam my hand in a car door twenty times than go to a club. But you never know about how such things will work out until you try them, right?
There's still another problem. I don't find this woman attractive. I mean, she's basically pretty, I guess - in a "normal" way, you know - there's nothing wrong with that, but it does nothing for me at all. I have a serious problem with attraction to women. And no, I'm not gay. I've checked. If anything, I'm just a deviant. I have a load of porn and it's almost entirely 2D, if that gives you any clue. Almost all pretty, perfectly normal women do nothing for me, or else they actively turn me off.
So what do I do? Go along with it? Pretend I'm normal? If I followed my deviant desires I'd end up living and dying alone, and I don't want to have that kind of life. At the same time, the thought of settling pisses me off. I know I can't have what I want, but does that mean I have to put with something I don't want for the rest of my life? I have two choices and they're both shitty.
I understand you, OP. I'm like that - what most of the world seems to consider 'beautiful' doesn't really do much for me... and the girls that I find attractive would probably be considered average at best by most others.
My thought is to at least give it a shot. Go out on a few dates, fool around a bit, etc. and just see where it goes. It may be that your feelings for 2d are too strong to be overcome. But, exposing yourself to something new might be what you need.
Yeah, what most people find attractive turns me off too. Women like that just feel all phoney and fake to me.
You sound like you might not like it. But try it anyway! You won't really lose much just trying it.
Think of it like tasting a new food! You won't know what it tastes like until you take a bite.
I'll take it a bit further. I used to dream about dating Asian (in particular Japanese) women and eventually marrying one. However, destiny took a wide right and decided to focus my interests in a Mexican girl (a culture I used to be not interested in). At first, she wasn't very attractive and really was the type of girl who sits at home and watches tv after school (hoodie and sweats in other words). After a year though, I got to know her better...and she actually started appearing more feminine. We started dating, and before you know it...it's been 8 years and still with her. Now there's plans of marriage gasps...LOL.
Anyways, I understand that 2d hentai is crazy good and really a flirt for you. However, if you truly think it's unhealthy...then the next unhealthy thing is being involved with this woman cold turkey. Like >>3 said...meeting new women won't kill you (unless they kill you first). And in my situation it's not that I put up with my girlfriend...I learned more about her and the way her life matches with mine. Just saying the girl you would be involved in would be shit is both premature and unfair to her. Then again, if you still feel like another girl is meant for you...just calmly explain your reason for not dating and she'll understand. Otherwise, good luck with her and tell us how it goes.
So, I recently started professional school. There is a girl in my class that I am interested in getting to know better, but being unpracticed at these things, I am stumped as to how to initiate conversations naturally, given that we sit on opposite sides of a large lecture hall, don't park in the same lot, etc. We are facebook friends, and her interests seem to match very well with my own. However, she is pretty quiet from what I can tell. And, well, I'm a significant bit older than her (30 vs 21 or 22). So I suppose my question is: given that arranging a coincidental "oh, hey, _________, how's it going? What did you think about that last test?" seems unlikely, is it really alright to be (somewhat) blunt with someone who doesn't seem that experienced? Don't want to come off as a creepy old man ('___' )
(In case you didn't notice I am not experienced either.)
Thanks everyone for your support. I haven't abandoned this thread yet!
Turns out we are both volunteering at an event this weekend. So, hopefully we'll get to talk some then.
>>16
OldMan, I am proud. I look forward to your success!
We were assigned to different locations!
Curses!
Oldman, why no updates? I AM DISAPPOINT
>>1
Sounds to me like you have a case of the fafrotskies!
how was it? no field report yet??
its 2012, where are you?
He got her.
He did it. That is why he does not return.
Hello everyone. It's been a long time! Just wanted to give you a quick update.
Well, I didn't get the girl. Despite all of your encouragement, I never had the nerve to just go up and make it happen. I'm sorry for that.
But...!
I did wind up meeting someone else, very recently! It's only been a little over a week, but things are going very well. Sometimes you find your path, sometimes your path finds you.
So, that's what's happening.
For the second time in my life I've begun to fall for a close friend of mine. I'm dramatically more than a touch awkward socially (still haven't been on a date at 27), and the last time I fell for a friend of mine... Suffice to say, that even without confessing my feelings for her, I managed to screw that relationship up royally. And now I find myself here again. I know that she's not interested in me, She, at times, finds me mildly annoying, and my tall stature triggers a degree of claustrophobia for her.
In the end I suppose there's no real point in posting this, there's no way for a relationship between she and I to ever work out, or progress beyond what it is. I suppose I just really needed to speak my mind somewhere.
You'll move on and it will be okay.
>>1 No problem to vent here. What is your current social situation though?
>>3 With her? We're roommates. Other than that I'm single, and have never actually been in a romantic relationship.
I genuinely understand how it feels to be told time after time that "everything will be okay." It isn't what you want to hear at times like this, but nevertheless, it's true. Also, with such a negative attitude towards yourself, how can you expect somebody else to look at you in the way that you would like? You need to excrete happiness and positivity to attract others!
Keep fighting!
I don't know if I would go so far as to say I have a negative attitude towards myself; though I can see how I'd come across that way.
As I said before, I'm rather tall (6'8"), somewhat handsome (according to my friends), and do tend to draw people to me (often whether I want to or not).
Part of my problem stems from not knowing how to talk to girls in a sense outside that of friendship, and haven't the foggiest idea how to talk to a girl outside of that capacity. Why the particular situation I'm in with my friend right now is so frustrating, is that not only is this the second time I've wound up in the situation of falling for a friend of mine; but these two times I've fallen for a friend of mine are actually the only two times I've actually fallen for someone.
Although it's difficult for me I do go out of my way to put myself in social situations where I might meet like minded people; but that's about all I know how to do.
Again, I'm not sure if I'd say I have a negative attitude towards myself; but I would say that I'm not an optimist, I just play one on TV. I tend to keep up a positive, friendly front; but to say that I lack confidence is completely fair. In love or not I've been hoping and trying to find someone for nearly half my life now, and when I do find someone, it's a friend who I can't bear to lose, and by pursuing her, I would lose her. It's not exactly an encouraging situation.
Ah, there's no need to apologize! That's what this is for, haha. :)
But, I do understand where you're coming from. It's understandable to not know how to talk to a girl, or how to act around a girl when you've never really been in a relationship outside of friendship. It's like riding a bike, right? That's extremely corny, but you fumble around until you finally get it right. So, don't feel too terrible about that, at the very least! I remember that I was always a total goon when it came to talking to a guy when feelings started coming into the equation.
Also, I understand not wanting to loose somebody (who is already a great friend) by pursuing them. I've went through the same thing. It's difficult, but I've learned, in at least my own experience, that if the other person has the same feelings as you do, the relationship will happen. And if you know for certain that your friend doesn't harbor those same feelings, I advise you to turn your thoughts away from her. It will save you so much trouble and distress. Instead, you should focus your energy on finding somebody who won't find you even mildly annoying in the least, and finds your tallness charming. Haha. :) I assure you, that person is out there.
Thank you.
I know that you're right. That being said, this pain will take some time to work through.
For the moment, I will continue to stand by her for as long as she will permit me to do so. As you said, if, at some juncture she does begin to manifest these feelings for me, then that path may be explored.
I suppose the next step in the interim, will be to continue learning.
Again, thank you.
And that's the way it should be. These things always take time to work through, but time is a good thing. In time, everything will come into place.
Also, you're welcome. :) I wish you the best in all of your love-related endeavors!
>Part of my problem stems from not knowing how to talk to girls in a sense outside that of friendship, and haven't the foggiest idea how to talk to a girl outside of that capacity.
Talk to them as if they are friends. That's all you have to do. If there are any reciprocal feelings "there", you'll realize it. Just get ready for a lot of games if you do start anything.
nods An old friend of mine once told me that the best relationships come from friendship first.
That said, I tend to be ridiculously overly analytical when it comes to looking at the behavior of people I'm not that familiar with (my friends who are girls are either all in a relationship, or completely disinterested in the idea of a relationship with me).
For example, there's a girl at my job, we work different departments and have only ever exchanged basic pleasantries before; but, spontaneously she was trying to initiate conversations with me over our breaks last week, and my brain kinda freaked out (I myself was calm, composed, and (I think) friendly; but my brain was in a near panic state). Later I kept trying to analyze what had happened, was she just being polite, was she making conversation, was she interested in me? Then I would attempt to ask my brain, which would only respond by playing Benny Hill music, suffice to say that wasn't very helpful.
In any case, yay for continuing forward into confusion!
