I saw in an article or tv show once that couples sometimes have relationship problems because of differences in what they expect expressions of affection to be. One might be throwing around amorous phrases while the other is waiting for physical closeness. Me, I'm terrible with words, so I like touch(from making out to holding hands), or doing small things for someone. Gifts, gestures, words, touch, kissing, rough sex, fetish swappping, what makes you feel like you're giving or receiving romantic affection?
I'm really the kind of person that wants a lot of affection.
Both words and lots of... snuggling/cuddling. I like that more than sex, honestly. I like it when my girlfriend says "I love you" a lot - a lot a lot.
Giving affection, same same as receiving really. I guess we have a really affectionate relationship. I like it.
I like physical contact. It can be amorous, friendly, or horny, so long as my feelings coincide with theirs. Suprisingly enough, in general, I'm not very touchy-feely, and I get pissed off when people are in my space.
Since we're discussing couples, and gender/sexuality tends to figure into those studies, I'll disclose the fact that I'm a lesbian.
>>3
I have heard lesbians don't have sex all that much, and that they tend to focus more on the relationship than the, uh, carnal benefits. Would you agree?
I've heard that idea before. On one lesbian forum, in fact, on a specific thread, I've heard people go back and fourth on the issue. The majority of the vocal members of that forum seemed to find the idea, and the person who presented it, worthy of mocking.
I think the idea is partially based on the steriotype that women are more emotionally sensitive, and less interested in sex, than men. I've also seen some people try to use the statement in order to treat lesbian relationships as somehow superior to conventional heterosexual relationships. It seems to depend on the lesbian, so YMMV.
Personally, I have an active sex drive. I consider the carnal side of things to be an important part of my relationships, along with the emotional side. This is not to say I wouldn't consider a one night stand, or a purely sexual encounter. There are also some girls with whom I might have considered a platonic romance, as they aren't sure about their sexual identity. However, in both cases, I've been dissatisfied enough to seek the missing aspects of these relationships elsewhere.
In short, yes I want to cuddle, and talk, and all of those things. I also want to touch, kiss, and have sex with other girls. I don't think that makes me wierd among lesbians, but it might.
I forgot to add how I display affection.
If I'm not involved in the person, and they have either not indicated that they are interested, or seem to nervous about the idea, I tend to just be more open to them. I'll allow them within my personal space, in a way that indicates that I welcome their attention. I make a lot more eye contact, because I'm trying to figure out what's appropriate or not. I also put up with a lot more bs than I usually take with people. This is something my close friends have noticed, and they rag on me about it every once in a while.
If we're already involved, I like kissing, close dancing, and obviously, sex. I try to do things which show that I care, and that I'm serious about the relationship. All of those things you're supposed to do for your friends, I don't forget about, just because we're a couple now.
I'm a lesbian too. And I would agree with >>6 on the sex thing. Lots of emphasis on the sex part there. Cuddling and talking and all that takes a backseat for me. It's likely an age thing more than a gender thing.
I relate to the original question. I'm a straight guy, and I need a lot of physical and verbal affection, as well as being thanked for the caring gestures I make. I've recently discovered that someone being considerate of my time is very important to me. If a woman doesn't make time for me, or show any remorse when missing a planned time together, I'm very hurt.
To show affection, I tend to do a lot of hugging/touching, listen, compliment, do little favors, and ask for time together. My partner seems to interpret my desire for planning dates and being together as smothering her. It's a hard balance to not come across as too desparate or needy, when I'm just trying to get and show enough affection.
I will tend to agree with some of the points brought up by >>8 but there are women who just don't like sex. They will focus on building a friendship with another woman, because it's easier for two women to be friends. Of course, when we develop a strong craving for intimacy, we will usually choose someone close to us to express those cravings. For someone in a relationship it might be their SO, and for someone who is single it might be a crush or someone who is physically nearby.
rite
Well I like to hug and kiss mostly, also I playfully fight with my bf. He likes to hug me super tight and whisper things in my ear. We also like to see where each other is ticklish so that way if one of us is sad we can tickel each other till the other is happy ^.^
>fetish swappping
wtf
I think it's where like, I wear a school uniform and lick her feet.
Lol, what's with all the lesbians here? I'm like the third one.
Well, I've only had boyfriends so far, and I never wanted to touch them. I felt weird when we held hands and I never kissed them. I was happy when they said, "I love you," though.
Girls, however...! I would really love to just be able to be near this girl I like. I could hug her and kiss her and hold her hand, and she doesn't have to do a thing. She could be checking her email or watching TV and I wouldn't care, as long as I could cuddle with her while she did it :3 As for affection being returned...As long as she felt happy to be loved, that would be enough for me. It would rock if she'd be physical back to me, but it's fine if she'd rather just express affection through words/through allowing me to touch her.