Ah, you're female. You might have a different perspective.

I'm male, straight, and over thirty. This means I have approximately a one in infinity chance of hooking up.

On that rare occasion when I get a response, anyone who does respond to me fall into a few different categories, of which my favorite so far has to be either "I am a pre-op TS" or the one I corresponded with for months this year, who I traveled two days to meet, who stood me up and had been calling me a "weirdo" and "asshole" in her Livejournal the whole time.

Of that tiny number of women at any personal ad site, all seem to fall into one of two categories: nineteen and perfect and personally offended by the very existence of anyone over thirty, or disgusting 400-pound beasts with three chins, four screeching kids, an SUV, and more facial hair than I have. Almost all of either of these categories will be borderline illiterate anyway. "i <3 2 tke wlaks on da baech LOLOLOLOLOL :D :D"

There are also some who appear to be the mythical "hot bi babe" that actually only exists in porn. Some of these can actually write a paragraph that doesn't make me cringe. They don't respond to emails, unless they will eventually say either a) "I used to be a man" or b) "yes, I think you're smart and funny and I'd love to meet," then go to her LJ to complain about the "pathetic weirdo" who responded to her ad rather than actually show up.

And yes, I've tried all the sites. Craigslist, Alt.com, Match.com, Matchmaker.com, OKcupid, Nerve Personals, Yahoo Personals, and on and on and on. All I've gotten since 1996 is rejection, humiliation, bitterness, and the occasional email from gay men who think I "haven't met the right man yet."

And that is why personal ads = nightmare.