obsession and darker side of love (25)

1 Name: A_LostSoul : 2005-11-22 10:35 ID:XFB3d70o

I had a good life once. i was a decent student, a good sportsman and i had many good friends. then i met a girl, to me she was perfect but i never had the guts to tell her i feel so i kept everything bottled up inside me for many many years. eventually i told her how i felt about her but she rejected me flat out saying she know me for a long time and she never have any feelings for me.

i threw away my life after that, she didnt want anything to do with me afterward and without her my life had no meaning. i flunked out of college and shut myself in my room and even tried to kill myself. and now almost 5 years later i still wake up with tears in the middle of the night.

i just heard that she will be moving overseas soon, i want to see her know how she is doing, but now im just a broken down man working at Mcdonald for minimum wage. if i wasnt good enough before why should she even see me now....

i know most people would think im crazy because in these age people change partner all the time, but i tried that and nothing ever work. this might be my last chance to see her and i take this chance i might live with regret for the rest of my life yet i cant just show up in front of her house when she clearly want me out of her life

sorry for the lost post and bad english

A_LostSoul

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-11-22 17:14 ID:F0eVQ4/L

You don't seem to be explicitly soliciting advice, so I won't give any to you... but to everyone else, this is why you shouldn't become too romantically attached to anyone unless you're at least within spitting distance of marriage. Get this attached to someone who you're not even sure knows you exist can only lead to heartbreak.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-11-22 17:43 ID:pNpOeNOw

Is it love, or fixation? Are you just investing in an idea?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-05 06:24 ID:hRDuKsiL

Have an horoscope done, that way you can clearly see that you two are not right for each other.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-05 07:20 ID:hRDuKsiL

Are you fixated because she seems unavailable?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-06 19:59 ID:W5Z5fpMl

>>2
Sometimes people can't help becoming like that. I know this from experience.

7 Name: Chicago Owns All : 2005-12-06 22:59 ID:i9h/LjvE

Guys, horoscope and all that shit means nothing, it's all about a mans resolution on his objective. If you're willing to do ANY-DAMN-THING for your objective, then nothing can stop you. A mans iron will is one of his most potent weapon, when he chooses to.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-13 19:14 ID:pNpOeNOw

>>7

Uhm, when the woman's will says no, it's harrassment at best, and rape at worst.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-15 12:51 ID:VH+9tAuI

"Love moderately"

Quoth Shakespeare.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-15 16:48 ID:mhwAJ5+z

>>9

"Moderation in all things, especially moderation."

Quoth Epicurius.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2005-12-19 04:56 ID:Heaven

>>9
Pff, boring.

Granted, I say that after having been driven insane by other people more than once, but I stand by my ridiculous claim.

12 Name: Anon : 2006-01-27 08:04 ID:oHD4C42O

>>1
Hey, you're not alone man. You can't help but fall for people and become attatched. sometimes you just can't resist it. indeed it doesn't seem like you're looking for advice and to be honest, being in the same boat (going on 10 years...that's a decade now that i've been trying to get rid of my feelings for her), I don't even know what to do myself. But I hope you find your way out. Hang in there!

13 Name: billy_uno : 2006-01-27 09:00 ID:HcScWDZN

>>1 I once fell in love with a girl who cheated on me with her half-brother. Her Father's son, from another mother. Women will mess with your head, I'll tell ya.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-27 12:25 ID:i91iDNyJ

I was dating my girlfriend for 3 damn years and we planned mariage etc. and she left me without explanation. After all I found out that he was cheating me with 2 guys. I've almost killed myself but after 1 year I fell for another girl. She gave me hope and the reason to go on. Now we are together for 4 years and I have never been hapier.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-27 15:35 ID:sZP07S6x

>>4
fuck
thats some good advice :\

16 Name: peip : 2006-01-27 16:43 ID:/yxRHCCs

Dude, Get yourself over that!!! I mean, how is she going to like a man that is acting immature? If it has really been that much time then you should have got over it!

Be brave men, Women are more attracted to self assured men because they know what they want (that doesn't means you get it but you try) and also come on, GO FOR IT!!! and if you don't see any future in the relationship then look for someone else.

I know it's hard, but you can do it dude.

17 Name: Anon : 2006-01-27 17:35 ID:oHD4C42O

>>16

is right! go for it ^_^.v

18 Name: The Scientist : 2006-11-21 10:14 ID:JioNx3u8

To the OP, should you ever go back to this thread:

a girl had crushed my hopes the same way one has yours it seems. it hurt so much because she was my first love, and i had truly believed that it was her. even now, i can't help but think about her; yet, i persist with my studies and efforts in life, because there's no way i'll throw myself away just because of that; i've always been dealt the crappy hand in life, but i decided long ago that i'd never stop, and that in the end, i'd shine.

i'm so sorry you got fscked up like this, but look at yourself and where you are now, what you did to yourself man. pick yourself up and shine as you fucking deserve it >;)

19 Name: Down and Out : 2006-11-21 11:33 ID:Pl4RVrNx

OP, I know how you feel hey. I had girls I found attractive before, they were easily got over with. But yeah, I really liked this girl once since she was first girl to talk to me and she's like attractive and all. I eventually sent her a card telling her my feelings for her. She nicely wrote a letter back saying that she's not my type and that there is just no chance for anything to happen. That had upset me a lot. I went on to feel for her at a distance for like most of my high school years. In that time I probably went trying to find another girl as a substitute for this one. One I missed out even though she later said that maybe I had a chance with her (Doh!!) But the next one started my depression even now. Since then I tried going for other girls, went out with one for a bit, got together with another as official couple but that only lasted for ~2 months. And like you, I threw my life away, shut myself in my room after uni, going to this low paying job, so I guess what I'm saying is that you are not alone in this OP. Doesn't help with your problems but I know from experience people such as you and me dont wanna feel that only we are stupid enough to be like this. But what is different from you though, I don't know, you might be better now, but I try to talk to more people, guys girls it doesnt matter (coz hey, a guy friend might be able to intro u to a girl who might accept you, never know), went out to things if I could, and all that.
When life sucks, all you can do is crawl through it one hour/day/week at a time and hope for the best while doing something so that when the time comes you are prepared.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-21 16:17 ID:C6HugVND

The girl isn't worth it.

Seek love elsewhere.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-21 23:41 ID:UpSzxM60

>>1

I feel for you. A similar situation happened to me following the split with my previous girlfriend. I was alright during the summer since she was away at camp, but when the autumn came, I just broke down evertime I saw her. She was also friends with my friends at the time, so that lead to further complications. I ended up pushing my friends away, dropped out of my A-Levels and spending my time between October and Janary as a hikikomori, until I found a job.

Worst three months of my life. And I still had feelings for her. I decided to get her something for her birthday a few months back and try to use the opportunity to apologise to her for being a complete arsehole when I broke down. Turns out she was getting ready for a meal out, so I didn't get the chance. When I called at her place a week later to try and speak to her, her mum said that she didn't want to talk to me.

Maybe I was crazy for trying to think that there was still something in a relationship that ended a year earlier. Despite that, even though I've moved on, my life's turned around, I've got a great bunch of mates now and I'm running the city's anime club, thoughts of her still refuse to leave my mind. Maybe it's because I just didn't get the chance to say what I wanted to say, but it just keeps bugging me on an almost daily basis.

With regards to whether or not you should see her, go for it. Say what you need to say and be done with it. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that it's better to regret something that you've said than regret something you never got to say. Also, keep your friends close. They'll offer you much more support than any woman can.

22 Name: The Scientist : 2006-11-22 10:18 ID:JioNx3u8

>>19
"When life sucks, all you can do is crawl through it one hour/day/week at a time and hope for the best while doing something so that when the time comes you are prepared."

Thank you Down and Out. Your words have reached me as well.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-22 22:57 ID:Heaven

>>20

Interesting ID you pulled out there.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 20:38 ID:FBUT0xWV

I'm going to say this as nice as I can. You need to move on. She doesn't like you, she will never like you, and that's just the way shit works. You don't need to see her again. That's not going to solve anything and will just make you hurt more.

You need to pick yourself up. Never should you base your life around a girl. Go out and get some hobbies, meet some new people, start a new life. Yes, it hurts now, but you have to keep going. Soon enough that hurt will go away and you being in the dumps like this will just be a memory. What you had with that girl ended, so now it's time to start something new.

I've been through this before. I know how it feels, how much it hurts when you feel for a girl but she doesn't feel the same way. But shit man, life goes on. This isn't the worst that could happen, and you will love again, but focus on getting your own life together before you try to let someone else in again.

5 years is far too long. Get your fucking ass off the computer and go out into the world. Do you know how many people are in the world? It's too fucking many. You are not alone. There will be someone even better.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 20:51 ID:68BsqlQI

fuck love, become a ninja, and then ull be able to earn tons of money parking the cars of famous celebrity animals. its win win

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.