I'm on a complicated situation, and looking for some kind of advice. I'm a 24 year old guy, with no interest in most girls. No, I'm not gay, it is just that nothing on them attracts me. I have a bunch of female friends, but just friends.
A few years ago I met a girl (and her whole family) and we quickly became best friends. Not just best friends... her family welcomed me in their home, and once in a while I stay there for a few days.
My friendship with her evolved a lot... in fact, a bit too much. I'm like a big brother to her, a wonderful relationship. Nothing wrong, except that I happened to fell in love with her.
This is my situation. If I ask her and things go well, I have a lot to win; but if I ask her and things go awry, I have a lot to lose. In fact, I would prefer not asking her than risking my relationship with her.
Since she sees me as a brother, I'm afraid that telling her my feelings may scare her, and ruin everything. Complicated, huh?
Any kind of advice, or experience sharing, is welcome.
My advice would be for you to go for it. You two have already attained such a level of trust so things might turn out well. Well if you think it's worth the risk, then you should go for it and just be sincere.
>>2 fucking ladder theory :(
Please stop believing everything you read on the internet.
>>1
Be honest, but be prepared. Don't act like a fuckhead if she rejects you, just let it go as soon as possible and the friendship will survive.
I was in a similar situation a few years back and did act like a fuckhead for a few weeks after finding out she didn't like me back. Luckily, we got through it and are still good friends. Not everyone is that lucky.
So yeah..."I think I'm in love with you" is not what ends friendships in cases like these. "BUT WHY DON'T YOU LIKE MEEEE?!?" is.
i totally agree, its not wrong to confess, its the reaction u make if u were rejected. that is i say, 'if' . lets hope for the best.
if she feels the same way then youre good to go, if she's not then youre gonna have to respect her decision, and not waste your friendship with her.
that's what i think
regardless though, if she rejects you. it'll be painful. be prepared for it.
I want to suggest confess and tell her how you feel, but it is never that easy. If you tell her how you feel and she does not return the feelings and it ruins the friendship, you are not the only one that loses, she does too. She might already know you how feel, but doesn't want to admit it to herself. I don't mean to get you down about it, but friendships can seem so strong but can be blown away so easily by something like this.
I had a friend who I saw as a brother who fell in love with me, but I did not return his feelings. We knew each other for five years, we have not spoken since he confessed which was almost exactly a year ago and we probably never will. I knew he liked me, I was just hoping he would never confess so we could stay the same.
Argh...I had the same thing happen to me. Except I was the one liking the person. It's basically the opposite of >>8
I had this friend who I knew for over a year and we were really really good friends. I didn't fall in love with her until recently and I decided to confess. She told me that she only saw me as a brother and also told me that things can never be the same. I still don't understand why things can't go back to the way they used to be. Right now, we don't talk and I doubt that we'll talk again.
Make sure she isn't already involved with anyone...sometimes you never know until you ask.
sounds a bit like my problem. Think about it over mine. try to get hints and if all esle fails the good old fashion confession will give you the details you need.
The thing is, yes, if you confess, then she might say no and the friendship might break down, and you might end up in a world of hurt.
But... it's nothing like the complete hell you'll face if you don't say anything and just let it stew. Sometimes you just have to pick the lesser evil. Sitting on something longer just makes the pain continue to increase until you do something about it, so if you're going to take some hurt, it's better to take it sooner, before it gets time to grow into some kind of savage monster.
I had a four year old friendship evolve into love on my end. Which was rather scary because she didn't seem interested in any guys/girls. We were like sister and brother, and she loved yaoi/yuri, and such, but it seemed to me as if no human was pretty enough to compete with the drawn images. This at the same time as feeling as complaining about her lack of experience with guys/girls and that this made her feel insecure about being able to do well when she'd try to kiss someone.
At one point when she was complaining at her lack of experience, I asked if I could kiss her, so that she could finally stop whining about this because she'd get some actual experience. She okayed, and we started kissing. Now, I thought I was doing something ridiculously stupid, that she'd be using me as a practice dummy, and that I'd be terribly heartbroken when I finally would be seeing her put her experience to use with someone she actually fancied. But I decided that it would be worth it.
We wound up kissing a lot. And the next day. And cuddling. And more kissing. A few days later, after daily making out sessions, she confessed and told me that she had been in love with me for half a year, but thought that I never would become interested in a girl like her, especially since I had been constantly eying a pretty waitress in the internetcafé we always visited during the weekends with the rest of our friends, amongst other chicks.
Sorry for not being able to share a story that's similar enough. However one thing you can learn, and that is to try to be very sensitive to picking up signals from her. And keep in mind that some people are ridiculously cuddly and physically close with friends regardless of gener, so that alone isn't enough to go on, but it definitely might be a good sign. Though she might feel betrayed if she's reserved such close physical contact to people she doesn't feel sexually threateneded by, as in a purely unsexual friendship.