Here is my headshot. Is there something wrong with the way I look? http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=SMAYAR&key=HGX
I hear by the time you are 23 if you never have had a relationship/been on a date etc you will loose all romantic interest for the rest of your life. I really don't want to end up like that. I'm starting to get really lonely.
My interests are anime, videogames, and Japan. I hate sports. I work out 6 times a week now and am on a healthy diet.
You're right, you're quite a good-looking guy, and there's absolutely no reason, based on your appearance, why someone wouldn't be attracted to you.
So, there must be another reason besides looks. How do you relate to girls?
I either come on too strong or not at all. Take tonight for instance. I decided to head out alone to a local bar and play a few games of pool. I had water to drink and while playing some random girl asks me why i'm playing alone, which I later realized was code for "ask her to play with me". I'm really slow on grasping both body language and vocal cues.
I also have had a very addicting personality and went through many different types of addictions but mainly these games like Everyquest (mmorpgs) where for a majority of my youth throughout highschool and halfway through college I never left my room and played all day long. I am practicly missing a point in life where most people deal with this stuff.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not nervous or anything around girls. I just treat them most of the time as I would treat a customer (I work retail sales). And I treat them this way and then at the end of the day realize how much I would have liked to pursue them in a relationship. I know it sounds very odd.
Are you trying to be Densha Otoko? :P If so please stop.
Anyways the only way you're going to get closer with women is if you stop acting like a bag boy at a grocery store and start being a man. Go to the girls, say hello. Talk to them about what they like and what they dislike. Be yourself and show them what you're about. Looks wont help you if you don't have a personality.
Definatly not trying to be him. Good show, but there is noooo way i'm as messed up as him. I don't studder when I speak or anything an my room has absolutly nothing that would make you think I am into anime or games. And I don't freak out when I talk to girls.
I live in my parents house though. I need to be completely honest if I am to recieve relevent advice. I went to regular school until 6th grade. Then I went to a private school where my mom was the assistant principle and in 6th-8th grade, I was with the same 15 students in my grade. From the time I got there, I was made fun of by the one guy who everyone looked up to. His dad was a lawyer and he told me if I retaliated in any way he would have his dad sue my family and make us go bankrupt.
I went from that school to an all guys highschool. This was when my mmorpg (everquest type game) addiction started. As a result I barely scraped through highschool, barely left my room, and went to some small college. My addiction continued through that school for a year where I barely made it through again, then transferred to another college many states away. I joined a fraternity there and switched to drinking as an addiction, and then I quit the fraternity because I was failing out of school. 1 and a half years were wasted at that college.
Now I am living with my parents in yet another state. I started back my mmorpg addiction when I first got here. I went to a community college, took very easy classes, barely scraped by yet again, and then transferred to a 4 year state university. This is where I am at right now. Two months ago, after my parents found out I failed out of my classes yet again, they forced me to either throw out all my gaming stuff including my computer or move out of the house. I chose to stay keep going to school and have my gaming stuff thrown away. It's been two months now and I'm just existing. Plus without any addiction to fall back on, I am constantly stressed over the fact that I don't have any friends I go out with or any girls etc.
I've had about 10 different parttime jobs since I was 16 because my addiction kept getting me in trouble with my jobs. As of 2 months ago I have been working out. But it doesn't help at all I feel miserable. I have this burning desire all the time to find a woman to be with. I actually believe my heart itself hurts every day. I'm sorry if this post was long but it had to be said.
Seek friends, not girls at this point.
Friends are just as hard for me to find and I have no clue why.
Well friends I actually do stuff with. I have a few friends but they are friends whose girlfriends control their lives and every minute of their time.
souns like me.....:(
May I suggest joining a club? Meeting people with similar interests would help you. Gamer girls can be found!
>>My interests are anime, videogames, and Japan.
There you go. Too much nerd in you. Try to get some non-nerd hobbies and act more "macho" for the lack of a better word. Girls want MEN, not softies.
Go here for your addiction problem.
I am taking Japanese. 90% of the ppl in my class for the last two semester are gamers. I am also a member of the Japanese student association. And I know gamer girls are somewhere out there, but guys with my lvl of social interaction stand no chance even if I can find one.
First sorry to say but I looked over the website you linked. I am not religious at all and in no way will I ever do any 12 step program that incorporates god. I also called the number and the lady on the answering machine sounded like a mom who doesn't have the slightest clue about mmorpg addiction. I wish ppl would do their research before making websites like that. I read the complete site and other than some completely obvious activities to fill time with, it is no use at all.
Just an update on another bad day already. I went to class in the morning and decided to show the class these two videos I made a year ago in a film class of mine. This was after class was over and the teacher left the room. Everyone laughed at the video but I felt they were laughing at how stupid it was. Now I have work in 2 hours (I work at a sales store like Brookstone/Sharper Image).
Last night I missed my 20 minutes of running because I decided to go to a bar by myself and play pool by myself for 2 hours. I drank only water no alcohol. Some girl asked me why I was playing alone, to which I replied, "I am practicing". I should have asked her if she wanted to play but I was in a bad mood. I came home previously that night yelling about how horrible my life was and my parents only yelled back at me about how they have had enough and I should simply magically fix my situation. Then my parents were yelling most of the night, which sparked my journey to the bar.
Seconding joining a club. Something unrelated to games, anime or nerd culture in general. I joined the caving society at my university and ended up meeting a Japanese gamer-girl who knew far more about otaku stuff than I did. I stopped caving after three months, but the girl and I have been together for 18 months and counting \o/.
And even if you don't meet any girls you'll at least make some friends, and with friends you'll have an opportunity to go places and meet new people. And if you talk to enough vacuous trollops at parties, you'll eventually find someone you can get along with.
Also, listen to your parents. Don't whine about your life, fix it.
There's nothing wrong with being nerdy. Anyone who says otherwise is a communist. Or more likely a fratboy. And no one likes fratboys, because their only hobbies are Halo and drinking X-D
Being "macho" is a bit of a misnomer. What you want to do is sell yourself. When an attractive girl is around, make yourself stand out from the crowd.
How you do that is largely dependent on your personality and should stay within the limits of your personality. Don't pretend to be TOO much cooler than you actually are ;-)
Oh, and about your pool story, that sucks. Something similar happened to me at a Bookstore a while back and I couldn't stop kicking myself for it.
PS - Densha Otoko rocks.
Weeeelllll..... I'm not some big city lawyer, but I reckon that the original poster is some goddamn weeaboo wapanese Megatokyo fan. And that's jest fine in small doses on sundays. But if yer lookin' for a real live walking talking woman whose last name don't end in .jpg or .gif or even .bmp then you might want to consider some things. One of these days yer probably gonna grow out most of this stuff and realize that there is more to life. So try to cut down on the weird ass nerd crap. Plus this stuff ain't rocket science. Here is what you do. Relax...untighten that sphincter and talk to people. Don't try to force relationships or just "get dates". Just talk to people and stuff will happen. Live your life like normal, try new things, and dont' rush it. Most women(decent women) have Creep Radar. This Creep Radar is a biological protection against creeps, possibly like you, who only want to cause negative things to happen. This protects women from stalkers, abusers, date rapists, and jest plain weirdos. Most women don't give a hang how cool you are or think you are. If they like you they'll talk to you like normal and just go with it. That's the only thing.
If you try too hard you will fail. And it ain't a race.
PS I have never seen Densha Otoko, but a wikipedia check tells me that it isn't something to emulate
If you want a girlfriend, just get out and live. Go places, talk to people! Go to a place where you can meet women with common interests, just get involved.
you gota get out there and starting talking to people. going to an all boy school sucks, i went to one too, it definatly cuts down on your interaction with girls. but sooner or later ur gonna have to get out of ur house and live. forgat about trying to find a girlfirend first make some friens
Thanks for some of the advice.
>>14 What you said about the creep radar absolutly makes sense. But it doesn't apply to me. I'm not a walking advertisement for anime. I talk about all sorts of stuff.
>>12 I wish there was a caving society here (I live in the midwest in a major city). What the heck I live in St Louis. I basically already messed up my anonomous status in my first post with the headshot. I just googled caving club and found an explorers club. But judging by the pictures it doesn't look like anyone my age is in it. Or anyone under 50 for that matter. http://www.explorers.org/stl/photo_gallery.php
I am searching avidly for some resemblence of a club with people my age in it I would find interesting. I like tennis. And there isn't a tennis club at my university. If I wanted to create one I would need to wait until summer for the school to approve of it not mentioning how hard it would be to find ppl. Can anyone help me search for a club on the internet that is in the st louis area?
Btw, today at work there was a very hot 24 year old woman that came in and bought speakers from me. We need to go through collecting information for each customer. We ask in this order. Name, Address, City, State, Zip, and email address. We seemed to have an ok vibe going on while I was showing her the speakers . The strange thing is after she gave me her address she gave me her phone number. I can still remember exactly how she said it. "And my phone number is ***". Thing is, being out of it as usual, I didn't act on it other than type it in when she said her phone number. Should I even have acted on it? I can't even remember if she had just regular rings on her hands or a wedding ring.
While I was trying to sell her the speakers I mentioned something about how the cheaper ones might be better if she lived in an apartment. She said she lives in a house. So I'm guessing she is married. But brings me to the question that if she is married why the heck did she voluntarily give me her phone number without me even asking for it? I asked the guys at work and they said they have never had a customer just give them their phone number, since we never ask for it.
She also said that her mom had the bose (one she went with), and that she liked it. She wanted speakers she could blast so she could hear them in the shower. Danget though why do I remember all this? I guess it was because today was rather uneventful other than this.
So i'm left with a predicament. Should I call her back tomorrow at work? I was thinking of calling and making up some stupid bs like we forgot to give her the receipt (even though i gave it to her) and if she comes down we can reprint her one. Please help me out by tomorrow I need some advice. Thanks again everyone for the advice soo far.
By the way, Mardi Gras is in St Louis tomorrow. Today at work this guy I work with who has a girlfriend (they are basicaly married), asked again what I was doing this weekend. I hate when people ask me that because I have absolutly no way of not making myself look like a complete looser. And if asking me that is some code way of inviting me to come along with them how do I respond if I want to? Plus, wouldn't it be weird for me to go alone with them and the ppl they know?
Again, I apologize for the long post, but I had a lot to get off my mind.
Actually you are kind of creepy. If a girl likes you, she will tell you outright if she is serious. You seem like you might be a stalker or something. In your effort to sound cooler than you actually are you come across as someone who would be like super jealous and ultra possessive.
Maybe you really DON'T need a girlfriend until you grow up a little more.
I'm not a stalker. It's just that I have this situation of never having been on a date and being 22, getting desperate, and having a bad habit of overanalyzing things.
calling her back is a tough one.... but i think you should go for it, cause what have u got to lose? well maybe your job....
i keep thinking after i buy stuff and the girl behind the counter is hot and about my age that i should have just casually asked "hey, so do u have any plans for tonight? i want to get to know you etc etc..." but it always slips my mind, and its not like i would have the balls to do it anyway lol
second thought calling her back and then asking her on a date might come off as creepy, especially if she still has her receipt...
Read the forums for mmorpg addicton help. Don't know if it'll help you (I was never REALLY addicted to video games), but I hope it does.
Yeah I realized that it would come off as creepy calling her and didn't do it. I forgot about it. Anyways, I got $70 in spiffs today soo thats good :)
Too bad today is mardi gras and I'm not doing anything. I asked a few guys at work what their plans were. They said they were going to get drunk. I just don't know how to invite myself to things.
Stop caring.
I know it's hard, but once you genuinely stop caring, you'll find a girl.
I stopped caring last year and began dating a model a few months later.
Read some Nietzsche or something.
Oh, and don't tell them about the fact that you play games or like anime.
Although Star Wars is kind of accepted.
>>24
They're called "mannequins", and it's usually only considered dating when they can actually talk. Not that you care.
I'm desperate enough where I will date any girl I find attractive no matter her personality at all. Funny thing is my feelings flow like the wind. At night I am desperate for a girl and then a lot of times in the day I could care less. I guess I just need to learn how to talk to people conversationally in general. Anyways, goodnight.
>>26
nice zinger ( '-')b
Mysteryman, despite your best efforts you seriously come across as extremely creepy. At least on this thread. You sound almost predatory and possessive. What the hell is wrong with you?
Here is everything you need to do:
Once you fix these things, you will be good to go. God stop being a creep. And just try to be a normal guy. Stuff will happen when you do that.
>>29
Hi. You need to go to hell.
The same goes for everyone else who keeps using the word creepy or stalker. Dating and socialization are not inborn skills. There is no class in highschool which teachs you the proper way to socialize.
If you're a shy person, you're going to be awkward and creepy until you pick up on the more effective ways of doing things.
In general, don't give up if you are rejected once. Sometimes, people send faulty signals, especially when caught off-guard. However, if you are rejected several times by the same girl, take the hint.
And there's nothing creepy about enjoying anime or Japan. Anyone who says otherwise is a communist. It's true that some girls (more generally, people) aren't very open minded. I remember my younger brother's exgirlfriend once called my masculinity into question for using the word 'cute'. But the trick is, that is a fault of OTHERS, not your own. If a girl finds your weird for liking anime, she's probably not a keeper. There's a million girls in the world who love anime. Find one of those instead.
Also, there's lots of people who feel lonely. A girlfriend, though, isn't necessarily the answer. Sometimes this is the case, but it's difficult work keeping things working -- especially if you don't share a common interest. If you don't want to be lonely, look for good friends (male and female) to spend your time with.
And you come off as a person with anger management issues. You are the type of person that keeps the predjudice against anime and videogame fans active. And I don't give a shit how creepy my hobbies appear. Theoretically, your hobby of keeping birds as pets could creep me out. And while your waiting for me with a shotgun, I would be with your daughter calling the cops on you and laughing as you rotted in jail. Seriously, #29, you need help. I need a girlfriend in my life, and you need a shrink.
And by the way 29, I know why I am alone and desperate. I am self aware to see that my addiction to mmorpg's caused the isolation and lack of social development. When I was playing regular videogames before that I socialized and had friends.
And back to that woman. Its not store policy ask for a phone number. She could have given it to me because she was into me, she could because she was tired and had a long day of shopping. Anyways, I'm over it and don't really care about that anymore. Its old news.
And as for your comment 4, I respect woman and would never ever do date rape. That's the last i'll put into responding to your post because you sound like a troll anyway.
If anyone else has some helpful advice, let me know.
Today was good. Tood my addhoral so I was alert and all. Made some money at work. Doing some homework now. Rather uneventful.
Thanks for the constructive advice. I will look for friends. I am going to see if there is a club on campus that helps organize events. That seems like it might be fun.
This thread rules
Actually, >>29 is in the clear, Mysteryman because he is protecting his daughter. If you came to the guy's house and trying to do stuff to his daughter then calling the cops would probably work against you because that would be kidnapping by taking his daughter. Then you'd be in jail or something. I dunno.
But harsh as he sounded 29 had a point. You always bring up all this introverted stuff. Jeez man if you are that analytical then you would know that the only way to stop being introverted and shy is to just relax and do stuff.
I think 29 has some harshly stated points, but good ones. You should probably get some help too with your shyness and everything too, Mysteryman.
When in doubt, lower your standards.
Good luck :)
clubs are good, and also the whole stop caring thing seems more difficult than it really is. The heart of Buddhism is really to "stop caring" and just see life for what it is. Finding a girl will not bring you the answer, just as addictions in your past did not bring you the answer. And religion probably won't solve anything either.
BTW I am also an international business major furiously studying Japanese. If you want to do business you are going to have to be more assertive and cutthroat.
did any one suggest prostitution? or craigslist.com casual encounters section?
Oh, and if by 23 or 24 you still don't have a gf, don't worry about it. Do it at your own comfortable pace.
Lol @kidnapping his daughter. I was under the impression 29 was referring to if I was dating his daughter. Which is why I mentioned the cops.
Anyways, you would really have to meet me in person to see what i'm all about. If you have an image of some quiet shy nerdy guy that doesn't talk much or is just plain weird, I'm not him. And believe me we have 2 guys like that in our class. One is called "the creeper" and the other actually scares me.
If you live in St Louis come by the Sharper Image and buy something. I'll help you out and just don't mention at all you saw this forum. Then through me helping you out you would have a better grasp on my personality. But 29 leave your shotgun at home lol.
p.s. my standards are low.
The religious types might not like the idea of prostitution, but I would have no problem with it. I'm actually thinking of going to one of those Asian tanning salons again. Yeah I went once before. But I had 3 beers before I went in, got some older asian woman. She wasn't too bad looking just I couldn't get it up with her just giving me a handjob. I wanted more than that but I forgot to bring protection so we couldn't go there. My bro told me a lot of his friend while they won't admit it went the prostitution route. At least to get their feet wet so to speak.
I've looked at craigs list before. Seems cheaper to just do the Asian tanning salon. Plus I have a thing for Asian women already.
>>35
@ Carleton?
>>37
Asian tanning salons exist in the USA too? I'm intrigued. However, it does seem odd that you couldn't get it up... Even more odd, that someone so introverted went to such a place. Maybe it was because you were nervous about going there.
I'm in a similar situation to you, what with the MMORPG and such. I hope I don't end up like you, though. Maybe it sounds a bit harsh but I can't put it into words. The girl giving you phone # at work was most definitely not interested in you, I think. When dispensing all that personal information, sometimes people won't catch all what you ask them for and just give you all their personal info, I know that's what I do. Do not follow up on this, if I were a woman I'd be creeped out.
Naw doesn't sound harsh. I can picture how that could happen with giving phone number accidently.
Btw, let me give a little more info about my past. I used to be very religious and my strong moral values still creep somewhere in the back of my head. When I went to the tanning salon, I was very nervous, even with the beers.
Here's the degree as to how religious I was. I was Catholic (not anymore), and went to confession once a week. I never missed Church.
When the women and me were in the room, she asked me what I wanted. I said full service and she proceded to ask me some questions. I guess they do that to make sure you aren't a cop and get you comftorable etc. I lied and said something like my girlfriend wasn't pleasing me etc. That alone at the moment after I said it made me feel really bad.
And the whole time all that was running through my mind is how low I had sunk that I had to go to a place like this. The lady wasn't too hot either, and she must have been like 40. I guest simplest way to put it is I psyched myself out.
Btw, if I were to compare myself to some ppl on tv I would choose "George from Seinfield" and "Turtle from Enterauge".
Today I gave in and visited a local Asian Massage Parlor. Complete waste of $160. This was 2nd time I have been to one of these. First was a few years ago and nothing happened down there for me because I had a few drinks before.
This time I had no drinks, and the lady there (must have been 40 and mildly attractive and Korean), took off all her clothes and we tried to go all the way. Once again I couldn't maintain an erection. I chalk it up to nerves. I was feeling very uncomfertable driving to a bad side of town to do this.
Now by doing it myself with my own hand while she was doing her thing I was finally able to do it. And it was really embarrising considering I had 2 minutes before the hour was up. And the whole time I could tell she was getting frustrated. It can't be fun for a woman to stimulate a man's private part for 15 minutes with nothing going on down there. Has to make her feel like she is ugly or something.
Anyways, I may go again in a few months. But I would keep it at a happy ending without anything else. Wow I can't believe I typed all of this. I am still very embarrised about the whole incident.
And the night before I wasted about 40 on a webcam sight that charged 2 a minute. I'm really loosing it aren't I? I'm down to like $2 in my bank account now.
>>40
livejournal.com --->
Naw all the entries relate to my pathetic single existence, thus the reason for them being in this forum and not on livejournal.
I enjoy it being on a forum and not livejournal. I read the forum b/c it is relevant to my interests. livejournal is not relevant to my interests
Btw, I figured a good place to pick up women according to the advice of a friend is the bookstore. Sounds like it would work to me. Plus most of the time normal women hang at the bookstore and not slutty ones.
Sad to see the prostitution thing failed, but that at least proves that you are a decent guy. I would have nerves too and would probably have similar issues.
>>44 Are you well read? If not, get on it. Frequent reading makes you a better and smarter person. Try some Dostoyevski, and my personal favorite, Murakami Haruki, who kind of touches on the loneliness of being a 20 something in "Norweigan Wood."
I'm rooting for you, but you are definitely going to have to start slow. Give up on webcam crap.
Wow, I pretty much went the same route.
To answer your question of why you never had a date and stuff:
The #1 reason is simply because supply and demand.
There's on avarage 19 girls out there for every 20 guys in almost every corner of the globe.
So there's always a guy ending up short, which is why the girl that can't get any don't exist. There are always guys available for them.
If you're wondering what you can do about this, there are like 4 things you can do:
#1 Read up on seduction techniques on the internet and use them at wherever
#2 go to Ukraine and walk around. There are more women out there than men in that country. I expect women do the quite the same in a supply crisis. So simply walking around oughtta be enough for you to get a girlfriend there. And I'm guessing that this is a far cheaper and better solution than prostitution.
#3 Wait for, buy a or build a fembot/chobit/persacom whatever and date her or build so many of them that enough girls turn up lonely they'd turn to you, current technology is almost there.
#4 get a sex change and become interested in guys, assuming what you want is simply to be loved by someone, no?
Personally, I like #3 the most. Living in a chobit world would be like awesome ^^. But I doubt that in the next ten years you could build or buy a chobit that feels, walks, moves, breaths, plays, sleeps and shows emotions like a human being, let alone one that has the intelligence of a five year old.
#1 worked good enough to get the only girlfriend I ever had. But only for a short time. It still works though.
I haven't tried #2 because these days I'm always short on money.
#4 kind sucks imo. Would only have been fun if you could change your DNA entirely.
Anyways, there you have it, good luck.
>#3 Wait for, buy a or build a fembot/chobit/persacom
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
lol #4 blows
Quick question its been a day or so. Why do I still feeled soo completely affected by the experience at the massage parlor? I'm not sure if it has depressed me or anything, but I missed a day of classes because of it.
Could it be because even though I lost my virginity to a prostitute, or i'm a little confused. Does it even count as loosing your virginity if you have to stimulate yourself without touching her to get off?
It's not losing your virginity until you stick it in the vagina.
Not a virgin anymore then. But I don't feel different at all.
What did you expect?
>>1
man, that must feel really shallow losing it to a prostitute. and well, of course you dont feel different, not like youre a girl. all theyre really doing is helping you masturbate, not like, uve just gotten a hole in your body enlarged, but, i suppose u got experience. classes eh? stil in college? how come uve never met anyone there? im sure theres probably dateable women
I just read yoru first post and the few last and you seem like a good guy. I know the problem you have, the solution is simple.
Also, there's nothing wrong with losing virginity. Even though I'm 21 and still virgin, I really couldn't care less when or who I lose it to. It doesn't matter. Before I thought sex is only for people who have a lasting relationship but I'm at a point when I realize that with the right mindset, you can control when you have sex or who you want to be with. I'm virgin because I thought it had a value, so i chose to keep it. That's what society makes you believe. Now I know that's not true.
However, you don't want to get used to prostitutes. Stay away from them. I'd feel like a loser if I couldn't get laid with a girl to the point I have to resort to prostitutes. You can get girls to be attracted to you and ask you for sex...
I do have experience dating, and I can say I'm reasonably good at it. I've dated a girl 10 years older.
What I recommend is that you learn the seduction techniques by ross jeffries. You'll be able to attract girls like magic. It's gonna give you the choice in which girls you go out with, rather than having to feel insecure for not being able to date/have sex.
I realized after reading that stuff, that I already did some of those techiniques without realizing it. Learning these things have helped me to attract a girl consciously without feeling scared/guilty.
Btw, MrShy is right on with #1 but he's obviously never really tried them.
There's no need to go to Ukraine to have a higher women to men ratio.
Seriously it wouldn't matter if you were among 100 guys in a party with 10 girls (a usual sausagefest like the ones at college) you would still have high chances of getting laid with the girl of your choice.
>>55
I dunno, unless you're in the top 10% as the most cutthroat, persuasive men, you might be doomed in that situation
>>I'm 22 and look good. Why have I never had a date/girlfriend?
probably that what you think and other saying you are good looking because they feel sorry for you...sorry dude, tough luck
better be SPARTACUS NEXT TIME
I'm obviously not spartacus lol. But I look good. With the right personality I should be able to grab most women.
>>56
As I said, try learning the techniques by ross jeffries. It involves subconscious training, behavior conditioning and hypnotic phrases. You might think you'd have to be superhuman to do these things, but it's just another learning curve. Anyone can do it.
My philosophy is: "Any guy can get any girl."
>>59 ok stop advertising that crap already
I'm actually in a similar situation to you, Mysteryman. I can't actually get a girlfriend if I try on my own; however, the difference is I have been in a few relationships, most of which were brought on by serendippity. Every girlfriend I've had have been brought on because I did stupid things like climb a tree and sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" (theatre majors at a Rennaisance Faire... go figure) and other sorts of craziness (yes, that is middle school through college). Why not try networking with friends and see if they can hook you up with someone? Or even network with friends to find someone you're interested in and then pursue them? That's worked for me twice.
As for the attraction secrets stuff, they really do work (no matter who's you decide to follow); however, I recommend against it since it's not who you are. Once you get close to the woman of your dreams, you'll probably forget all about the techniques and revert to your old self (possibly sending her into a state of shock questioning who you really are).
>>53
That applies to girl too, you know. The first time I had sex i didn't feel the slightest bit different. Nor any of the other times I was with that guy (boyfriend). Not that he wasn't good in bed, that he was. We even got off at the same time the first time I had sex, to my surprise, as I had kept hearing about how difficult such a feat is. The first time with my current boyfriend on the other hand.. Was awesome. He wasn't better technically, as he was a virgin, but because of all the emotions involved (and the way he was treating me) it felt very magical, and definitely felt as if "something" (good) had happened with me mentally.
By the way, for your information, there are many girls who either rupture their hymen before ever having sex due to physical activities, or they weren't born with it in the first case. There is no "magical freshness seal" :-p The hymen is just some loose skin that may or may not cover too much of the vaginal opening to let a larger objects (like chunks of uterus-wall during the period) out or in (e.g. a penis). There are plenty of women who have masturbated vaginally without rupturing any hymen. Stretch skin and it'll just become more loose, unless you stretch it too much. Then, it'll rupture.
I have a friend who never even masturbated before the first time she had sex, and she didn't have any hymens rupturing during sex (i've decided I do not want to know whether it was because of her not having one in the first place, or because she's been doing a lot of physical activities, as she even did rugby at one point - in spite of her looking distinctiviely feminine and girly).
>>59
I'd rather advertise some real self improvement stuff. Like that bloke Pavlina's website. Now that's actually some good personal development advice. It's amusing how one can randomly find links on this board that actually do help that much.
I really can't stand reading about this problem. It isn't a problem. You're just lazy.
You have one task. ONE task: talk to girls.
That's it.
Talk to girls.
Talk to every girl you find even remotely attractive.
You could probably do with some hair on your head, but you're a reasonably good looking guy.
So talk to girls. If you're half the nerd I'm thinking you must be for posting to Love & Romance at 4-ch, then you'll surely fall flat on your face with, I don't know, the first 100 girls or something.
But keep talking to them. You'll gain experience, you'll level up, and you'll get yourself a girlriend.
BE SOCIAL.
I really can't stand reading about this problem. It isn't a problem. You're just lazy.
You have one task. ONE task: talk to girls.
That's it.
Talk to girls.
Talk to every girl you find even remotely attractive.
You could probably do with some hair on your head, but you're a reasonably good looking guy.
So talk to girls. If you're half the nerd I'm thinking you must be for posting to Love & Romance at 4-ch, then you'll surely fall flat on your face with, I don't know, the first 100 girls or something.
But keep talking to them. You'll gain experience, you'll level up, and you'll get yourself a girlriend.
BE SOCIAL.
Or just find one girl who's really easy to talk to, grind conversation until it's trivial, and then move onto the next, right?
Don't waste your time with prostitutes, you'll just end up more depressed about your situation and you'll never really solve that which is really confounding you. Instead, join clubs, meet people, make friends and just have fun. If you meet enough people you WILL have an opportunity. Don't be so strictly concerned about getting a gf and just focus on making new friends and things will eventually swing your way.
insecurity makes one concerned bout how others judge/see them.
Insecurity blows. Sad to say, but not caring about the outcome is sometimes the only way to get the outcome that you want. Healthy confidence is knowing that even if you don't get what you want, nothing is changed. So get out there and try!
lol zomg, r u still here. just be a man, and talk to some girls, really, approach em, anything, if nothing happens, then, watever. and if u R as good looking as you say u are, then who knows, and girl might even feel lucky and think (omg, that guys talking to me), and start some convo, thats all
You look like a skin head and scary. Smile, look friendly, grow some hair on TOP of your head, and get rid of the stuble. Your eyes are super pretty and so are your lips, but the rest of your outter appearance is a bit scary.
I told you all earlier that this asshole was a creep.
just because of his visual appearance?
No, because of the way he runs that cesspool of his he calls a mouth and also because of the creepy way he looks.
Mr. Sperminator here is a date rape waiting to happen.
Females, beware.
I skimmed over some of the earlier posts, and I couldn't help but feel that guy was kind of strange myself. If I had known his prior history, I think I would have been a little hesistant to continue a serious relationship with him.
This thread sucks and the OP is officially a date rapist looking creep.
Let's talk about Disco instead.
I like the Bee Gees. How about you?
>>74
Spoiler: That's not him
Plot Twist: I saw the original picture when this creep first posted.
The picture that shows now is actually an improvement. The original picture reminded me of Ben Affleck in that movie Mallrats.
I mean....this guy is just begging for a restraining order or something.
You think it's an improvement?
yeah...at least in the new picture he looks like a crazy stalker as opposed to a covert date rapist.
meaning you can pick him out easier.
Wow this is a emo thread.
From what I have read, I don't see a reason why you have not gotten a girl. You go to school, I am quite sure girls go there. In >>7 you said you have friends who have girlfriends. Have you ever thought about asking them if they know any single girls? Girls know girls and girls always know single girls. However...
>I'm desperate enough where I will date any girl I find attractive no matter her personality at all.
So basically, you don't want a girlfriend or a romantic relationship. You wanted a trophy or sex. Sex you can get from a street walker or at the asian parlor. And since the asian parlor affected you so much, it was sex you wanted in the end.
>>76
I like the Bee Gees myself. I also like Evelyn King; "Shame" is my favorite song of hers. I would have loved to live in the seventies so that I could have experienced the disco movement firsthand. That would have won so hard.
>>80
If you think that guy looks creepy you'd probably think I'm a serial murder, rapist, puppy stomper, granny basher and a terrorist. I'm none of those. I do think he's looks pretty ugly though
i can't see your photo...
but if you say you are good looking, and your interests are anime, videogames, and Japan, maybe you should look for girls with same hobbies... it's easier for you because you two could talk about the same topics.
but it would be a little bit hard if you want to get gils that doesn't even know any anime, don't play video games, or even doesn't even into the japanese things.
the basic of making yourself looked interesting in front of women is:
#1 fist impression! most of girls i know like a "misterious" person... that doesn't mean that you have to be misterious and be creepy all the time, but some ways that always work for me is every time i met a new person, (i don't know it's my natural habit) i became a shy and somewhat respectful person. but after like, a week together, i gradually changed to be a talkative and humorous person just like i always be. i think that makes girls want to know about you more.
#2 don't show that you can do anything... most of people think he should look best in front of the girls... that's wrong...
why? because it would be a big turn off if you said you could do something (of maybe even a little brag...) but in the end, the thing just don't do as it supposed to do... you know what i mean? it's better if you say: "i don't know.. but i'll try" than: "it's a piece of cake! let me do that!" because if things goes wrong, people would be okay since you said that you don't know if you can. and if it goes right, people would think you have a good effort to make it right~
#3 be brave and ask her to got out. for dinner maybe. or movies and dinner afterwards.
#4 some people said :"girls are talkers"
so, be a listener!
whatever she talks, she just want to talk about it... even if you don't know anything about what is she talking about, just listen to what she said... but just tell the truth if she finds out if you don't have any clue what is she talking about.
and don't forget ask her to teach you what it is...
that will make she feels that you want to know and interested in her hobiies too
i have failed once with someone i really like because i talk more than her~ hahahahaha but that's okay~ ^^
that's the basic thing....
there's some more of it... but maybe it's for maintaining your relationship. not for getting girls~ ^^
remember!
fist impression...
it includes the way you talk and your cleanliness.
Honestly look at it from a girls POV. What do you have to offer a girl? You're failing classes, you have no friends, no interesting hobbies and you are now seeing prostitutes.
And you are forgetting that relationships are about giving and loving. You are only thinking of what a girlfriend can do for you. But you aren't all wrong, it seems you want more thans sex since you can't perform well with hookers.
But without basic social skills (ie: hanging out with the guys from work), what makes you think you can have a girlfriend? That is a relationship stronger than friendship and you need to be confident in regular friendships first.
Then with friends, comes confidence and you'll have things to talk about.
So just start hanging out with friends. It will be awkward at first since you've been out of it so long, but you need to go through that period. Eventually you'll get better. Do it!