I've been in love with friend who lives in a different state close to 4 years now.
She has a boyfriend and he lives in Canada.
I don't know how well they get along together, but I know their relationship is recent (couple of months).
I've been through 3 relationships throughout the years and my feelings for her have not gone away.
I've tried to stop thinking about her but nothing works.
I feel ashamed to say that I've only talked to her online and on the phone.
On my second relationship, I confessed my love for her but she only said she smiled and nothing else, it's never been brought up after that. She's well aware that I love her but I have no idea if the feeling is mutual. She's been really really nice and caring.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin what they have but I'm going insane here, I nearly tossed myself in front of a vehicle in an attempt to kill myself. I didn't do it because I was afraid of death, nothing else. I feel like a real selfish scumbag and I don't know how to act, who to see or what to do.
I know that if I could just see her in person and tell her how I feel and asking her how she feels about me , this whole thing would be over with no matter what her answer is. I'd at least have a clear mind.
What do you think I should do?
Thanks in advance
Sorry about the terrible writing and spelling, I'm not a very good writer to begin with and it's the middle of the night. You can just guess why I'm still awake.
wow thats a pretty tragic story!! T_T
I can understand what that feels like having that feeling stuck inside and cant get it out. i dont know why you tried to kill your self when she didn't even shot you down hard but still shows kindness towards you ~"~ well i reckon you should do is stay close or good friends with her cose since she has a boyfriend and i dont think you would want to ruin that would you?? sometimes you just need to accept these things but stil dont give up, stay close/good friend and keep trying!! dont try anything stupid like killing you self cose for one thing i know is that suicide are for people who doesn't have any will to live for anything and has given up. the worse things are people kill them selves cos of these relationships, you need to build up your mind and accept these stuff. Wish you all the best and remember niver give up!!!
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Hi there Secret Admirer. Tell me one thing. She lives in a different state from you right? How far is it from your house?
Sounds tough. I can empathize, but I'll be realistic.
This is basically a competition. I assume that she is friendly towards you, and that means you have a chance.
What this means to you, is that you have to decide whether you can face the competition. You have to weigh the sacrifices and effort. For a desperate guy words like sacrifice and effort might mean nothing, but you have to face reality, and that means you must eliminate the competition.
How? is the interesting question. Depends on each case, each relationship. My approach would be to take advantage of her boyfriend being away and make her forget about the guy that's farther. Tha's why >>4 's question is relevant. How close is it? How much more often than him can you meet her?
Factors like distance and time usually prevail over everything else unless you can effectively hardwire her to be as crazy for you as you are hardwired to think you're in love with her.
My unwelcome opinion (just an opinion) is that you should look for someone else if the chances to win her over are slim. (as incredible as it may sound there's a girl for you that might not necessarily be the one you think is)