Hello. I am an 18 years old guy who has had severe problems with acne for some years. Because of that, I have bad self confidence, and I don't have very good social skills, especially when it comes to "chit-chat". Because of my bad social skills, I tend to get into girls' friend-zones. I need help from you guys. How does one get social skills? It is not that I don't have anything to talk about, it is just that I find it difficult to talk in a "relaxed" manner, so I end up quiet a lot of times >_<. Please provide me with tips, links, anything that will help me...OTL.
Focus on anything but yourself. Do not think about yourself or what people are thinking about you, think and focus on them. You will find that you may relax and open more this way, not only that but you may feel happier.
I don't know much since I've been caught in the friend zone a few times but would dropping hints that you like her keep you out of the friendzone? I haven't tested this out yet. Anyone ever tested out my strategy? Also, try to make the girl laugh or giggle when you chit-chat. Almost all girls like guys with a sense of humor. Though joking around can get you trapped in the riend-zone...Ahh....I'm having trouble giving tips. Other guys wanna drop in and help?
Have a couple of drinks. They don't call alcohol a social lubricant for nothing.
Unfortunately, there is very little you can do at the outset to try to avoid the friendzone. Alot of it is your physical appearance and presence so when it shows that you lack confidence and social skills, women tend to feel sorry for you instead of wanting to hook up with you.
I suggest you take some classes in school that involve small groups of discussion. Once you find yourself comfortable there, you'll be able to speak more freely. Hope that helps.
perhaps one of those toastmasters things?
As odd as it sounds, apparently try not to give women to much attention at first. Girls are crazy and don't have much interest in someone they can actually get and rather a person they might not get. They love a challenge. Go figure!
qft. I guess something that's important is just be natural, whatever that might be for you. No one wants what they can get too easily, but that doesn't mean being evasive either... or something like that, I'm not in a great position to be authoritative about it I suppose, haha, since I am at heart a goofball and that does land me right where you don't want to be most of the time. I just don't give a damn, I'd rather be being myself when someone ends up wanting to be closer, than trying to put on a show that would be a strain to keep up over time.
oO This section of the board is very empty......almost no threads in 2007 -.-
You're right, I hadn't noticed, maybe everyone stopped having love issues =P
Well Hikkies don't have any love-issues to beginn with.
They have only dreams/ imagination of love-issues.... :D xD^^
My impression is that girls like to be poked with "what could be" in a just kidding manner. There's a limit to what you joke with of course depending on how close you are with the person, but as you get to know each other options will expand. And somehow when they realize you're a stable presence in their lives that you can trust, and not in a bland/boring way at all .. then somehow they end up tilting actually toward accepting those things you joked about.
Of course those are the unclassy girls :/ the classy ones who aren't posh asswasps, I don't think there's a real trick to them except to be honest, diligent and interesting. And fukken hot, since if they value you to be a person of such high standards they'd expect it in at least how you treat your looks as well..
Well, just random ideas that probably won't help you if you can't find out what to talk about anyway. For that I can't say much else than there are two aspects of convo: news and reactions to news. "Oh hay I went to the cinema with my bf", she says. You give your opinion, but if its' an unacceptable one, as a joke: "o, did he enjoy his popcorn bowl handjob then lulz?!"
...
Yeah, better stop writing ;P
>>2
Wow, someone seems to be a bit of a bigot.
>>3
She's a psychotic morbidly obese Paris Hilton? Seriously, that's the only way to describe her.
Also, I can't seem to find any non-Catholic that finds me attractive, which is even moreso bizzare because I live in a part of the US that is strongly Baptist and Methodist... Catholics making up only a small minority.
Ugh, c'mon people, help me out a bit here! This has become an utter curse!
JUST BE YOURSELF
If you have a problem with acne try Clean and Clear, me and my gf use that and it works miracles. Also just try to find out what the girls like and don't like, and buy them gifts, girls love gifts. Tell them how beautiful they are and how their clothes accentuate their body, you know tell them what they want to hear.
I feel you man, there's this one girl i like that i cant do anything about. The dropping hints idea may work depending on the girl, I know this one person who it worked for, been dating his gf for almost a year (curse him), and it would probibly only work for friends of yours, not some girl who barely know's you.
One of the better ways though is to create attraction. One of the best ways to do this is being cocky, you dont want to be a total jackass, but you also dont want to be a complete wuss either. Usually girls classify men as wusses if they put her needs before theirs all the time, doing anything she says. Yes, girls are very weird like that. what 13 said with the popcorn handjob was a good example of being cocky.
Most of the time if you can create enough attraction you dont have to worry about how you look. This really doesnt apply to those who are really overweight, or lack proper higein(sp).
Btw, if you're wondering why i'm preaching and dont have a gf myself, its because the only girl im really interested in has a bf -_-" sucks to be me, ne?