When is it the right time to tell a girl you like them and want to go out with them?
Thing is I got kinda close with a girl @ the Chinese restaurant I work in, this all last week so I know it's way too soon, but when would it be a good time for me?
Usually girls I know like to walk 1/2 to one metre away from me, this girl walks so close that we brush each others' shoulders most of the time. While I feel it's stupid of me to think the girl must kinda like me just because of that, I want to tell her that I feel attracted to her.
And she told me she doesnt have many friends coz she just came to where I live from Hong Kong and living with her sister and the friends she knows is her sister's friends. And on Tuesdays, the girl often walks around with this guai lo guy (no offence intended to any Westerners here). I asked if he's her bf, she said no. There's another guai lo guy who's friends with the girl too. So far I have no indication she's considering one of them as her bf so I want to tell her how I feel before it's too late. So when would it be a good time?
After work, ask her if she wants to chill and get some coffee. Nothing serious, just you two unwinding after a long day of work.
In the end, you just need to be upfront about it before she starts to consider you just a friend!
and cool, you live in HK too?
umm.. Today I asked the girl if she wants to have lunch. She said ok. Just because a girl goes and picks up a friend (who's a guy) from the airport, is it a sign that the girl is going for that guy?
Well, I was born and lived in HK for 8 years. Right now I'm in OZ.
And after work, we usually walk around the city center for a while b4 she goes back to her flat. The first time, it was her who suggested to do one more round around the block. Good sign?!
Well, naturally I would have to tell her b4 she puts me in her friendzone but how soon is too soon? I can never get the timing right. Once, I told the girl the first time I hanged out with her, failure (ofcoz no one tells a girl on their first outing).
I think you could do 2 things at the same time. Ask her out on a date (whatever), but tell her you are asking her out because you like her...see what she says.
but this is only the 2nd week me and the girl have been a bit more closer than work mates... how long should I just hang out with her before I tell her? Too soon and I'll probably come out looking desperate, too late and some other guy gets her ...
I went to lunch with the girl. We talked, a lot for me. She told me she is new to the place so she have no idea about the transport route and said "if we have time, can you show me around", exact words were in Cantonese "yu gor nei duck harn ge, ...(parts forgotten) hui wan" I also asked her about the guy she was picking up from airport and another guy (friend of her sis) who sometimes hangs out with her if they ever tried to hit on her.. (was it reckless of me?!) She replied no.
Is the situation in my favour? or I should wait a bit more (not passively ofcoz)
u dont want too much time to go by. Girls have two ladders in a relationship. The Friends' ladder and the "going out" ladder. if u take too much time to ask her out, u going to be stuck on the friend ladder and once u r there, its pretty hard to get off. You want to get on the "potential bf" ladder, so do a little flirting, make fun of her (not too hard), and show a little interest, but not too much. then when u at least able to be on that ladder, make your move, ask her to "hang out" sometime and go do something fun. then everything should fall into place if she likes u. =)
Itai~!!!
You are doing fine. Lunch is a good first date, and it obvious those guys she picked up from the airport aren't her boyfriend. Ask her to another date in a few days (remember, don't try to rush it. Lunch date is a good choice, but also try an activity that allows you two to have fun. But you are doing fine, I tip my hat to you sir.
Thanks for that. mmm... "show a little interest" what did you mean by that KIRA? And "an activity that allows you two to have fun" any suggestions? While I'm certainly not a total noob in this venture, I'm not quite there yet.
mini-golf, bowling, amusement park, just plain fun stuff
a lot of those can't really be done in HK...lucky you guys can!
Good on ya, >>10, made a good move right there. Hope it progresses soon...and when the time is right, you'll know when to make the bold move of holdin' her hand or other. :)
go to the arcade then or something. play the claw ufo game and win her a stuff animal or something. that be cool. u want to flirt a little with the way u talk, giving hints that arent obvious.
a walk in the park can do wonders
Yo holdingcourt, I'm going to study in HK starting september :)
it's Holdincourt (no G)... :P
Anyways, awesome...where will you be studying? HKU? Polytech?
hkust. that is, if I can apply for my visa in time...
good luck, then
Today after work, I walked her home (she lives near where we work) as before. I said 'cyalater" and I turned around after walking off for a bit and there was this guy walking next to her and talking. The guy looked at me with the look like he's accusing me of trying to get his girl.
The girl I'm trying to ask out told me before about her friend coming over from another state. I asked her b4 if that friend she was picking up from the airport is her bf, she said no but now I'm feeling not so secure about whether I have any chance at all
Looks like you have some competition. First of all, DON'T GIVE UP!! If you give up, he wins, if you 'fight' you have a chance of winning her heart. Ask her on the second date, anywhere, anything, just keep going with it. You are on a roll, just stick with what you have been doing and you will win. Remember Rule #78: Play like a champion!
maybe it's time to make your move and get her before the other guy does. If he feels the same way for her, it might be a good idea to tell her how you feel before the other guy does. If he sees you as a threat, this might make him confess. which means you may be running out of time!
but... I only just know the girl since the end of last week! Surely that's way too early to say to her that I like her and wanna go out with her?
And I asked her yesterday if she wants to go out again. She asked me b4 to show her around. But right now, her mother is staying over and that means she will have to work almost everyday. I asked when her mother will return to HK or travel to somewhere else, the girl told me probably around August.. but by then my uni classes starts again and I won't know if I will have spare time...
But I aint gonna give up just yet.
also, when the girl told me she was picking him up from the airport, she told me how excited and nervous she was since it's been a while since they saw each other last. I did ask her if he was her bf then, but she said they were just friends and nothing else. Part of me wonders if she lied to me, but then again, she gains nothing from lying...
Then it's best not to focus on the guy and stay on YOU!
Ask her on another date and see how it goes...like you said, time is running out coz of Uni etc. So make time now, and even if the girl has her mother staying with her...the Mom can take care of herself! So stop worrying on that point...go ahead, ask her out again, and see where things lie...AND DON'T ask about this other guy.
First of all don't confess, you still don't know if you love her or just lust her. The other guy is not her boyfriend, so do not worry about him. If you ask about him one more time, you will seem insecure and she will not like that. Try to get another date, if only it just tea for 15 minutes. She did ask you to show her around, make time for it because basically she asked you on a date. I don't understand why she has to work when her mother is home, is it a HK thing?
Usually is, family = important to the extreme
mm.. the reason why she cant go out when her mother is staying with her and her sis is that she's right now on a holiday visa and waiting for her HK uni entrance exam scores to come out. After that she will apply for uni here (me and her aint living in HK right now). So in the mean time, her mother is making sure her daughter goes to work almost every day to save money for fees. Plus the girl told me she is afraid of her mum which means her mother must be pretty strict and probably wont allow her to see guys (except the friend who came over from another state).
Today she called in sick to our work place but instead of phoning and telling the bosslady the girl phoned me to tell the bosslady. Is that a good sign? or just because she's afraid of asking the bosslady directly and so ask me to be the in-between?
Well, I will make time for her, even skipping a day at uni if I have to. Yeah, if I ask about the other guy this girl will probably think I'm insecure. Should I ask her something like "the other day after i walked you home a guy came next to you, was he the friend you were talking about"? Would that be a good idea?
And sometimes I get 'signals' that seems to encourage me to ask her out but I'm not sure since I have a history of seeing suggestions that aint there. Usually girls I know all walk a certain distance away from me yet this girl walks right close to me and not mind at all. Another one was the 1st time I walked her from work. She sighed at least twice. I got other signals too, but all these could just be because she see me as a friend perhaps? Am I reading too deep into those gestures?
yes, reading too deep...and because NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO READ A GIRL COMPLETELY.
You might as well just go with your instinct and ask her out...spend time with her...that way you can get to know her better and the way she acts.
Put it this way: Even if you could read the signs, would it stop you from asking her out again?
Doubtful, right? SO just do it!