As those who've read my posts here might know, I'm currently trying to go for this girl at my work. I have gotten pretty good encouragements from pplz here telling me to go for it. But recently, I tried to sms the girl. She did tell me before that her mother is using her phone atm, and she's on prepaid and I'm on plan, but so far, none of my sms were replied. Considering all these so far, is it a bad sign?
perhaps it's not the case with this girl, but i have to say that i've used this excuse before.
I try to tell myself that. But because she didnt reply I sms her around 3 times (with a few hours in between... I think). And her msn was on Idle so I send her a message and send some more, went off came back and sent some more but no one replied. She might or might not have read my messages. I did sms telling her her msn is still on, and a few hours later it went offline but still no reply. Did I weird her out? I really hope I didnt.
i think that you may have. I have been involved in a situation like this before and it is worrying when you get sent many messages in a day or two
>>3
you're doing it wrong
Send her a message once and wait a few days for a reply, if she doesn't reply, send another one. By the way, stick to one thread.
Tomorrow I'll see her at work. I'll see how it goes.
Agreed with >>6, you shouldn't be SMS-ing or msging her so often in a day...just from reading your original post, makes you sound desperate and needy.
>>8
Well, he is. I think he should give up. And above all he should stop posting here or, if he must keep posting, he shouldn't make 5 threads about the same shit he is failing at.
Word, the fact that you are posting so much shit means you are nervous/scared/insure. She will see it and you won't have much luck. Just calm down.
What everyone else is trying to say (I hope) is learn self-restraint and patience. Seriously, if you continue to pursue it the way you are, then you might end up scaring her and pushing her away.
When we all mentioned for you to make time to see her and spend time with her, we didn't say "pursue like a dog chasing the mailman's truck", just take your time. If she isn't replying, she must have a reason...and you need to face the truth that one of those reasons may be because it is you who is texting/msging.
Anyways, be patient...she can't just cut you off (unless, of course, she is some ice-queen), so she'll get back to you eventually.
Well, I actually am nervous, scared and unsure. But that doesnt matter now. I screwed it ... again... makes me wonder abt the value of me as a person. Thing is, today she was supposed to work and I was asked to take over someone else's day today. She worked last night, she must have seen the roster for this week coz she skipped today's. And ID:heaven, I only posted in different threads coz what I was wanting to talk abt was different from the subject in the thread title. And perhaps I'm desperate, I mean, I tried at least 8 times (I guess "so what?" would be everyone's reply), and each time I tried a different approach (in my opinion) but none works. Kinda makes me afraid being single is what I will be for life... Do one need a complete personality overhaul in a situation like mine? Or can I still be true to myself and still get a girl?
Well, if you're nervous, scared and unsure...can't help ya there. Something you need to figure out yourself.
Suggest trying to find something else to occupy your time (if you aren't already), coz if you are focusing your thoughts and daily routine on a girl...that "KINDA" makes you obsessive, no offense.
...AND you are over thinking on the work-shift thing. Honestly, how can you KNOW she would skip a day coz she SAW the work schedule and knew you would be working? Come on...and even if she did, doesn't that tell you something in itself?
Personality Overhaul: Not so much a change of your personality more than a change in how you do or approach things. At the same time, the way you mentally are can always be something to work on. I.e. stop thinking negatively, over-thinking situations, be more positive and confident.
...and post whatever you want in whatever thread you create. Ignore those who complain, they just do it to piss people off.
thanks for that holdincourt, maybe better luck next girl
over-thinking, damn me and my obsession with trying to see hidden meanings
By the way; "ID:Heaven" is not a specific poster, it is simply the ID given to a sage'd post (a post where the poster has chosen to not bump the thread)
Well, it's how I can tell you apart from the other anonymous pplz
wait, D.Otoko-no-ko, how have you screwed things with this girl up?
>>16
Don't bother. He's too stupid.
Well holdincourt, I'm not 100% sure but I'm being ignored by the girl. Possibly coz I might have weird her out or something... But I still gonna make sure on Thursday since she did not cross it out... haha, even one of the chef at work was trying to get me and the girl together... I dont seem to stand a chance. I did try to call her last night to see if she want to do something today but since there's no reply, it more or less confirm my suspicions. Stupid perhaps but I've been at this for since junior high and each time I dont get a reply it ususally mean I've been blown away.
and to be specific about how I screwed up, holdincourt. All I did was just 1) she phoned me to tell our bosslady she can't make it to work coz she's ill so I sms her after work asking if she's better. 2) I thought she might be just pulling a sickie to get off work so I asked if she wanna do anything on Saturday since she's free. 3) I didnt receive a reply so when I came home I saw her MSN was on. Even though status said idle, I msn her asking if she received my email. No reply and it seems that it was accessed not from her usual msn. So I msn her some more asking if there is any1 in front of the comp. I msn her again after I came back from hanging out with my friend, no reply. 4) Next morning, her MSN was still on so I send another message to see if she's there. No reply. 5) So I sms her again saying her MSN is still on. After a while her MSN went offline. 5) As I pointed out b4, I'm not sure but the girl may have seen that I'm rostered on Monday along with her, and may have cancelled the work that day bcoz of that. I checked the cards from last sunday, it might not have been busy because she finished around 10:30pm so her cancelling work couldnt have been bcoz she was dead tired or something...
but then again, you (holdincourt) did say I over analysis the situatin...
Did it ever occur to you that she may just be busy? I mean, her mom is in town and she could spending time with her, or its just a busy time for her. Maybe thats why she changed her schedule too, to accommodate for something else. You can still save this, just lay back for about a week. Don't feel pressured you have to talk to her every day, even though there is that other guy, you two work at the same place and will eventually run into each other. So for now, calm down, or else things are going to get from bad to worse. Just hold off from calling her and talk to her in person.
Next time you see her, gauge her response, and DON'T THINK/FEEL NEGATIVE. From an objective stand point see if she is trying to avoid you: is she avoid eye contact, less talktive than usual, etc. And if you feel that there is something wrong, like she is purposely ignoring you, when you have a break or after work, ask her whats wrong. She will either just not say anything and just ignore, if she does, they you lose. Hopefully she will say 'nothing' (the word, not silence). If she does, ask her again, she will probably say 'nothing' again. Ask her up to 3 times, and even use your friendship as reason for her to talk to you. This is tip-toeing on the 'friendzone' but you can repair it by offering her a night on the town to cheer her up, after she explains her problem, which shouldn't be related to you.
If it is you, try to explain yourself, be honest, but don't tell her you love her, thats relationship suicide. Just say 'you are an awesome person to be with...when I see you my day seems better...the reason why I tried to contact you some many times is because I wanted to know if it was you are just coincidence or really you...' I really don't know, because I never want to be put into that situation. But it shouldn't come down to that.
By the way you have a msn? I feel like I am always too late with advice.
yeah, I have msn, didnt I post that on the MSN thread in General section?
in case it's lost, it's Darth_Darimus@hotmail.com
dude... you sent requests for a date by email at several times? I dunno about her, but I hate spam.
eh? I never said I sent requests for a date by email several times? What r u on abt?
ok. sorry. msn and sms spamming then
oh, if it's that, I wasnt requesting a date via msn or sms. 1) SMS: just asked if she is ok since she said she was not feeling well so she didnt go to work and also because her msn was on overnite when usually she logs off. 2) MSN: I only asked if she was online, when 1st no reply I said my ttyl and went out. Came home, still online so again see how she was doing when no reply I just asked twice if there is actually some1 on the other side. Next morning her msn was still on which i find strange so msn her again... even so I would hardly call it spamming. A bit too much in a day or two but it's not like I constantly bombarded her with messages.
Today I happen to see the girl on my way to the bus station from work. She was all dressed up and she was with a white guy, who was not so dressed up. I was practically right next to her as she came towards my direction but she either didnt see me as she walked past me or she was ignoring me on purpose. As she walked closer I looked at her hoping she would say hi or something but I swear I saw her eyes looked to another direction... I dont know if I'm just paranoid or what, perhaps I will get confirmation with her behaviour tomorrow at work.... sigh
dunno, Desp.Otoko. Sounds like she is being a ***** and just ignoring you on purpose. You might have to prepare yourself to move on...
Speaking of moving on, a friend once commented that each time I tried to hit on a girl and got blown, a few weeks after I have another 'target'. My friend's point was that I seem to never commit to anything, is that a fair perception though? I mean, I can't stay pining for a girl forever (I did once, almost throughout my highschool years).
Anyways, the only non-negative side I could come up with was that perhaps that girl was not the girl I'm going for but her sister. The girl I'm trying to go out with did say pplz keep saying she resemble her older sister.
Please tell me you're not really asking a girl out through either sms or msn.
You friend is right, and there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. No point on staying on a girl if you know you are going no where. The best thing for you is to move on.
>>33 When I ask the girl out the 1st time (read the thread "How soon is too soon") I did use sms to ask her out to lunch and she came on MSN to confirm it. Yes yes I know abt the 'class system', a friend already told me abt it: in person face2face is 1st class, on phone is 2nd class, msn is 3rd class and sms is 4th class.
We were just work friends then (still are, or not), so there really is nothing wrong with asking through sms is there?
Nothing wrong if you want to get rejected. Its best to ask in person, if not the phone. Nothing beyond that.
Well, at that situation then, I couldnt have ask her in person.
then call her up
>>39 what situation would that be? You could have been patient and just waited to ask her out over the phone or face-2-face, but you went ahead and asked her through SMS.
Again, patience, man...you really need to learn that NOW!
Control, control. You must learn control!
That, too...
See, the day I sent the sms she was free from work. If I delayed it to another dayI wouldnt have been able to go out with her at all.
Anyways, today @ work when she saw me she was waving and saying "hey, long time no see". I mentioned abt yesterday and she told me she really couldnt see me, that I should've said hi (I would have but I wanted to see if she noticed me). She then later asks "You thought I was ignoring you didnt you? Did your inside feels knotty? Were you unhappy?" I didnt answer her (wise decision?)
She also made me do this pinky promise with her to keep secret the fact she's thinking abt working @ another place.
After work, I was gonna talk to her some more but her sister's friend came to pick her up, and since her way home and my way to the bus station is the same most of the way I kinda ended up walking a fair distance back behind them(I swear I wasnt stalking her!). Of coz I couldnt help looking at them. They werent holding hands or anything, not that a gf/bf couple has to hold hands every time, so that was no indication of anything. They sometimes walked close together and some times apart. Her 'friend' must have known I was looking since he keeps looking back after a bit. After that they walked back to the girl's place and I went towards my bus stop.
From this, do pplz here think I have any chance at all?
PS. I also asked her abt the time last week when her msn was on for ages. She said she was never online, said perhaps it was her lil sis back in HK. Asked her abt the phone too, seems to be still with her mum.
Anyways, all in all, I dont know if I should believe her or not coz I have experience b4 that girls can lie through their teeth because they dont wanna 'hurt your feelings'.
frigid onanoko, can't tell... >_< Information too ambiguous. Everything = possible still. Have courage, boy!
Yesterday at work, I asked the girl out to a movie. At first she said maybe, coz if her mother goes out then she have to stay back to look after her grandpa. When I got home, her sister rang me, by mistake, but then tells me that the girl says that she wont be free that night.
Is it a sign I was rejected? The girl did tell me she would call me but got her sis to do it instead. But when I think abt it, how come her sis can't stay back and look after their grandpa?
Well... since she gave you a positive response last time, then it means she hasn't written you out yet. She did warn you that since her mom is there, she wouldn't have alot of free time and this excuse is consistant with it.
Well, she phoned me tonight, again asking if I could help her out with telling our bosslady she can't go to work tomorrow (I sure hope she isnt calling me only when she need something). Turned out she couldnt go last night coz she was asked to work. Anyways, I told her to give me a call again when she knows what days she is off. She said ok so I'll have to see. And I end up not helping her this time asking for leave from our bosslady. Just gave her the restaurant's phone number and told her to call up herself, coz I'm beginning to suspect she might be another one of those girls who only calls me up when they need something from me (I had a few experiences of such pplz)
>>49
How many times has she called you up just for a favor? Its possible she trusts you and wants your help, I've had that experience before, girls trust people who are just generally nice to them.
The best thing to do is just oblige her and see where it goes, don't make calls like "she only calls me when she wants something" without really looking at the evidence, you don't want to make that mistake.
Well, this would be the 2nd time. Yes I know I'm making hasty judgement but part of me is sick of being used. Guess my experiences have made me paranoid. Well, I did help the girl though, just not the do everything for her kind of help.
I know where Desp.Otoko is comin' from on his point of 'being used'.
I think in this case, though, you did right by helping her out. Its only bad when she keeps calling ya for stupid things and getting your 'opinion'.
Think you still have a chance, but if she is still unresponsive my MSN/Phone/SMS when you are asking her to hang out, then it may be something else on her part. Something to clarify with her?
Well, problem is now she is working somewhere else during day and my workplace at night, when I'm not there
This is stupid, if she really gave a shit about then you she would have made time for you. It's far more likely that she's uninterested in going out with you and mildly creeped out. Trying to ask someone out through msn or sms makes you seem obsessive and pathetic, that's a clear sign from the start to her that you have no confidence and if her first impression is that you are unconfident and pathetic then she definitely will try to avoid anything that resembles going out with you. If you had been confident and talked to her in person about everything then you might have had a chance but now it's far more likely that you're a possible emotional tampon for her at best and an irritant at worst.
>>54 has a point
well >>54, as I said, if I waited to ask her in person, I wouldn't have another chance since she took that day off from work when usually she works almost everyday. Would that have been better then, missing a chance?
Actually speaking to her over the phone was the other option mentioned...
But I almost stammer! Almost like Densha!
Get over the stammer, or work through it. SMS or MSN date asking will just make you a laughing stock.
How is stammering like Densha going to help you? Did you fight a man on the train to protect a woman? NO stop acting like him. You are not Densha! It seems like you are sinking faster than the Titanic and there is nothing to stop the leak. Learn from your mistakes. Don't be so desperate and needy, that is a real turn off. I mean, you can get annoying sometimes, and I am a guy. I'm not going to lie, you probably lost her. The best you can do is hope she has a cute friend and go after her.
Don't worry, if she fucks you, who gives a shit? You'll get fucked over like a little bitch for opening up and taking chances, fact of life, you just have to learn to deal with it. Just set your mind to that she is a nice person, that she has good reasons whenever things don't play into your hands and if you with certainty eventually find out it is not so, realize that the only one who have done something wrong is her, you have nothing to feel embarassed about because you have not even suspected her for being a bitch, your intentions and thoughts have been pure.
This will give your mind ease, and it will not give her signals that you are a jealous, suspicious maniac. Thats a real turnoff, especially when you don't even have a mutual committment(lol)
Just chill, have patience, don't be on her case all the time and definately don't ask her about why she didn't answer on MSN and shit like that, just don't(save it for marriage). Be a nice and pleasant guy, be comfortable if you know what I'm saying, and whenever an oppertunity opens up keep your head cool.
And to do this it helps to stop thinking about sex and masturbating, that just makes you anxious, afraid, embarassed and suspicious because it's not pure. You should act like you're in love, then you don't worry, you're brave, patient, benevolent, and you'll make enourmous sacrifices. Unleashing your sexual lust beforhand kills all that. It's ok when you're on the dancefloor, being an animal after it's prey, it's a whole different ballgame, you're there to get laid, not to make a committment(shit imo but people still do it). But in your case sexuality should not even be a part of your life at this point.
Just so you know in case you didn't.
quit masturbating? because it not pure?. Whatever is pure about sex anyway? Another nutcase christianophile, you, do you even manage yourself what you preach?
but frigid onanoko sees good point also in >>61. Try open up. What that mean? you get less risk-adverse! (FO is economist....;) meaning you less afraid if you screw up... sux. Frigid onanoko also has hard time doing this.
wish you luck
Whatever is dirty about sex? Nothing but our faithless, rapist minds, disregarding the reality of things to satisfy it's desires on whatever it pleases, if that is the case. However, love transforms a person to immidiately build a ground for fidelity and committment, from the very center of our being. If this ground is undermined even in your own mind, already before love has been answered, it will set the tone for how your entire relationship will be lived out. You must have felt how love cleans your soul sometime, no? Or were you so hooked on your own sexdrive that you didn't bother to give a shit?
>>60 no I'm not trying to be like Densha. But I do get all tongue tied when I'm talking with the girl who I want to go out with. I guess every guy has that but yes I have lil confidence which is why I go behind the mobile or msn. It sucks I know. But yeah, confidence is built from successes and I dont have much of that.
>>62 frigid onanoko just got fed up reading freud for sociology. Now you write same nonsensical... mumbo-cheapsciencefictionthemes-jumbo... mähhh :-( but evaded question:
>you, do you even manage yourself what you preach?
plz respond to that, or me calling you 16yr old ulrich...
>>blablabla u lie
Prove me wrong instead.
And yes, I don't masturbate, nor think about sex. I used to, I haven't turned asexual, theres nothing wrong with sexual relations, on the contrary. You however just go about it the wrong way and I don't want to be a part of that because it ruins me mentally.
Wow...OK.
Back on topic, Desp.Otoko, the guys here have a point, especially >>60 and >>61 (though in a very crude / direct way).
At this point, you're better off moving on, learning from this experience, improving yourself for the next girl that comes around.
Like you said before, time is an issue and all and if it's working against you, you either fight it (which, clearly, you aren't) or you let things run their course (which, from the looks of it, will still be a losing situation for you).
So, rather than DRAG this on any longer...you might as well look down the line and see what is best for you. To move on, use the remaining time to enjoy life before you go back to studies...find a girl in college or something etc. BEFORE all that, you need to evaluate yourself. Do you continue the way you are? OR, improve yourself, gain confidence in yourself, so that you can take the bigger AND neccessary steps when the next girl comes along.
Your choice...
Okay, like the first 5 times I asked out a girl I got rejected. If confidence is built on success, then I would have no confidence. Actually by all those rejections, I just got use to the hassle of asking out a girl. By the 6th time I didn't stammer, I didn't sweat, I was calm and cool because I was there so many times and I have been rejected so many times, that I knew what to expect and it wasn't a big deal to hear 'no.' When I was calm and cool (basically acting like my normal self), then I started to get success.
>>67 I am very direct, its both a gift and a curse.
Desperate Otoko, me, I also pessimistic about situation :-(
From what I can tell the situation since your first post nearly two weeks ago has shown no improvement whatsoever. Right now you are chasing a girl of whom you don't seem to even know if she'll remain interesting in the medium to long run, as you didn't proceed beyond small talk yet, as far as I know. Furthermore, I can't dismiss the feeling that you are approaching this situation half-heartedly since the majority of your posts express great doubt about the viability of pursuing this girl.
Maybe you don't want to let this venture go immediately but I strongly suggest that you set a finite period marked by a fixed date (perhaps the 20th July) during which you will try your last moves with your best effort. But after that, you know it is completely over. I recommend this because I think that currently the lack of goals is giving you far more stress than the heart-ache over that girl. D.O, if you are going for this, frigid onanoko will try best to help and I think many others on this thread will support you with advice in the final battle.
Frigid onanoko also had situation once with cool person who on msn all time but never there... and never understand person either... Very very frustrating. I stopped trying, felt strange for few days then back to normal but no stress.
FO say bye bye
mmm... hang on a min, what do you mean by "beyond small talk"? And well, I guess I'm approaching this girl half-heartedly coz the last time I tried not to be half hearted I almost went into depression for a whole year.
>what do you mean by "beyond small talk"?
have you ever had a conversation with her on a different plane than simple banter?
>And well, I guess I'm approaching this girl half-heartedly coz the last time I tried not to be half hearted
this attitude will most certainly not help...
well, I'm a bit dense so perhaps you can enlighten me as to what do you mean by "on a different plane than simple banter"?
so do you think you and her ever talked about stuff personal to her?
was there ever such a time that she talked to you, not because there was nothing else to do but because she wanted to?
what do you mean personal stuff? Talked abt her sis' friends and her mother for a bit during the lunch thing.
To the second question, I really wouldnt know if she talking to me is just for time filler or because of wanting to talk to me.
By personal stuff, Secret Admirer means things that she would not normally tell people.
waah! me gave you advice. If you not gonna be decisive in any way, frigid onanoko be bored. Wanna see action! either yes or no will do, but not this void of doubt. something! you can wait when you're dead. You ask for help, then don't just neglect our input-do you know I alone spent half an hour thinking and typing post >>69 together??? and other people also spend their time here, for you.
frigid onanoko pissed by this behaviour!!!!!
We're talking real life problem, we're talking real life solutions. YOU make the decision. Do you? If you're not gonna do anything, frigid onanoko never think about your problem again!
angry byebye
This isn't about you, your expectations and whatever time you choose to invest here, it's about the person we are trying to help. Give the guy a break, it's shit easy to be smart when you're not entrailed by painful emotions, it's easy to say "act" when you don't feel like you've got the world on your shoulders. A crush can make you fly if it is well fed, it can also bring you to your knees if it's not. "Love" is obsession and if it goes badly it can turn ugly.
You know you can strangle of some of your emotions for her, they can just as easily be woken up again. But if you burn too much it will only be painful if you can't let it flow freely. So just cut back on the 'eros' and act on some good old 'agape' in the meantime. You fell in love with her once, I'm sure you will remember why.
>>74
She talks to you because she thinks of you as a friend from work. She probably thinks your an awkward but nice guy, which is why she tries to be friendly to you (judging from >>44). She wouldn't have conversations with you if she didnt want to talk to you, but its likely its just to fill time.
You're stuck in the friend zone, and i think trying to push for a relationship will alienate her and ruin your friendship. I advise you move on and look for someone else, and just stay friends with this girl. Dont waste time feeling bad over it (you said earlier you're good at getting over a girl, this is good), just move on and learn from your mistakes, especially STOP reading into her actions/things she says too much, it will just make you more insecure and depressed. Maybe ask her if shes got any cute single friends she can set you up with (if you dont like them, just date them so you can get experience/build confidence around girls). You might not want to, and instead want to wait for the right girl for you. Thats fine, but it wont hurt to get some experience while waiting for her right? You'll have a better chance of it working out that way. Maybe you'll have a chance with the current girl in the future, but right now i really dont think it will work out the way you want it to.
You need to be more relaxed, more confident, and less serious next time, both around the girl and away from her. DONT obsess over it, and pursue other hobbies. Go join a gym, or a martial arts class, or go play a sport, or join a book group, or anything you're interested in that will involve other people and social interaction. This will help build your confidence, which is your key problem. It will also force you to stop thinking about her all the time, as you'll have less time to do it.
And dont forget, we're all backing you. :]
>>78
Listen to this person, they know their stuff.
>This isn't about you, your expectations and whatever time you choose to invest here, it's about the person we are trying to help.
>>77, I know that. Frigid onanoko wanna help first of all. But I have right to be disdained. Desparate otoko is 23yrs, not a child anymore. Should I tolerate childish behaviour from a man who asks for help? Only if he has a motivation to do stuff. Remember this is a bulletinboard... you can think twice before you write, instead of reacting on the first thought entering your mind. He doesn't seem to do that. Besides, I think the duty of an OP is to respond to ideas that are entered here.
I'm aware that I don't have any experience in this sort of thing. However this isn't related to this thread, but I'm curious to know something about Desperate Otoko. I acknowledged that you have asked a lot of girls out but none of them would go out with you, I happen to wonder why.... since I know that appearance plays a big part in success.... no offense but how do you look?
By common sense, generally most girls would preferably choose guys who look decent over those who aren't. If you can excuse me, how do you look? Do you look handsome? Or smart?
Do you wear glasses?
And how tall are you?
Sorry for not reply, I was at a friend's house for the past few days. Frigid, yeah, I know what you are getting at, less thinking and more doing right? I'm trying to do that but I still need to know what do people mean by certain things.
>>81 I'm 1.65cm tall, wear no glasses. My dress style is the loose kind since I hate tight fitting clothes but a friend commented that it made me look more younger than I really am. Not to mention that being an azn, my true age doesnt show.
>>82
wear a zoot suit, chicks dig em
>>Desperate otoko (no ko)
Really I don't have any rights to give you advice if you have already read my other posts throughout this forum. But I'll try to offer some seeing that you seem you try your best not to go down and I respect that. Maybe you should try wearing tight fitting clothes, which I know is against your preferance. I have intuitiveness to your response as you said that your friend comment it made you look younger.. and if the girls likes a more mature look, then maybe it is time for you to change your fashion style. But you cannot be sure and thats the thing you need decide on. And maybe adopt a more aggressive and active approach, seeing that you attitude is bit soft and that your co-workers commented that you don't have a personality. If you have seen Shuffle, you could see Shia(Lithianthus) changed her attitude to much more aggresive and literally took control of the date. I think you need to not ask a date but demand one. And work on your muscles too, you need to fight other guys if necessary to own the girl. Some girls can't get through the message that you like her by being soft, maybe you need to place the girl to where she belong, and if she doesn't follow make her suffer or abuse your power and make her fear you.
In the end, its up to you.
>Give the guy a break, it's shit easy to be smart when you're not entrailed by painful emotions
>>77, do you really think he needs a break? au contraire, I'd say he needs a break from his break! Don't you think desparate otoko comes here to hear advice untainted by such emotions?
Anyway, he has emotions about this issue and that is perfect, otherwise nobody could tell he'd have emotions for this girl. In my opinion however, a man should listen to his emotions, not become entrailed by them. If he does, he must get regain control over them or at least be on top of them. Apart from getting out of a bind, it feels really good to be in control (however slightly). That's why I posted >>69 - it has advice on how to get a bit more control on this situation. I still feel Desparate otoko kun needs to read that post a bit more carefully and give feedback. From that feedback it will be possible for us to tailor our support better, and that is how I intend to help.
Frigid Onanoko don't intend to help by just sayin' 'go for it... w00t!!' Because FO don't think that'd be much help.
dja ne!
OK NOOB,
You have to learn to be strait forward with women. They like to play the games, they don't like YOU to play the games on them. You must show her exactly how you feel in a pseudo-machismo/emotional way (depending on her mood.) You need to take a gdamned risk. Girls like it when you stick your neck out on the line for them. Lay it out on the table with confidence. Find a way to gear yourself up so you can be confident. Think of the bigger picture of life, and how your life does not end no matter what the outcome.
Life works in weird ways I think bcoz even though the girl @ work still maintain a distance wif me I think I was given another deal. It seems that at my anime club there's this girl who has a thing for me, when I weigh the possibilties I have decided to go with the girl from the anime club instead. I appreciated everyone's advice in this thread, and I will take them into this relationship.
Keep us posted, I guess. Good luck.
>>87
whoa! who do you like more?
if its the girl from work i must say... why dont you get in battle mode and fight for it??
dont just go the easy way and retreat...
love is dificult, but the more effort you put in it the more chance of success you have!
it might be just a little chance of success but isnt it worth the try?
what do you have to lose?