Unfaithful, and begging for input (34)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-02 16:06 ID:+BHssiYN

Good morning.

I'm afraid I have a problem. That of course, is not unusual as it seems everyone comes here for relationship advice.

Anyway.

I am in a long distance relationship of 14 months. This month (hopefully) being out 15th. My girlfriend and I have had many battles concerning our love, and what we feel is right and wrong. We knew we wanted only each other, and we were already making plans for the future. I know this seems like rushing it to most people, but we are quite mature for our young teenage stereotype.
Now, we had what I thought was a fairytale romance for a while... And then I made a mistake, and was surprised that she forgave me. However, she's made many more mistakes since then. Been with other guys, is what I mean, of course...
It's not so simple to just say, "She's not worth it, break up with her." One, first and foremost, are our feelings. Through all this, I can not hate her, or be unforgiving. I can tell her love is strong, and wishes to make things right. She tells me distance is very painful. I understand that, but I thought we've been able to cope with that using role playing online.
Just recently, she's found a guy named Bruce. Now, Bruce is funny, and caring, etc... And she seems to have fallen for him. She's told me, and for weeks now, we've been trying to figure this out. I can sum it up, for those who know the song, that I am the boyfriend that is spoken of in Rihanna's Unfaithful.
She's seems so much happier with him. She talks easier and for hours with him. This alone hurts me to no end. I will admit that I succomb to my emotions. I cry almost everynight from the pain of this confusion -- She claims with all her heart that she loves me more than anything, and I know that. Her feelings aren't unrequited. She is the only one I feel I can love, despite all that's been happening.
She barely talks to me, falls asleep while I am talking to her, and never says she loves me. Yet, I try to end her pain of being torn between two people by breaking up, and she wails and screams, begging me not to go. I know there has to be an easier solution to this.
I've tried to ask if she wants to be with both of us, and that hurts both her and me. As well, she doesn't like the idea.

Coupled with what has happened to me with family life, I've lost my only solace in this girl. All I am asking, friends, is your input on this. Any thing you have to say will be greatly apppreciated. Thank you.

2 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-02 16:24 ID:+k0a79ay

Well if you were man enough I suggest you fight for her! You should visit whereever she is no matter what! If you do that, then she'll probably realize what you came through to make this relationship last so long and what you mean to her! =)

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-02 16:30 ID:+BHssiYN

Of course I'm man enough! And I'd drop everything in a heartbeat! She lives in Arizona, and I live in Oklahoma. I stepped out the door the other day, and started walking. I got about five miles and realized it was more of a danger to walk, then find a sensible solution. My family has little money, and so does her's. (Her father's an ass, anyway.) I've planned to put all of my expenses on hold to visit her at Christmas.

4 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-02 16:46 ID:+k0a79ay

YOU DO THAT!!!! hmmmmmmm. You should take a train wich is cheaper or if you wanna get their in a jiffy take a plane, either way you need to be there at the exact moment and Christmas IS PERFECT! It'll be your present to her so you shouldn't tell her.If your willing to sacrifice everythying in the world for her tell her that Bruce will have to wait cause your madly in love with her and you'll prove that on Christmas

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-02 16:54 ID:8xvjO/Hz

yup yup, christmas isnt about presents or santa. It´s Luv!

6 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-02 16:56 ID:+k0a79ay

That's right!

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-02 16:59 ID:+BHssiYN

A train! Perfect. I never thought about it. Faster than a bus, yet cheaper than a plane. Thank you. ^^ Still, anymore input from anyone is a great insight on this.

8 Name: humbaba!5IPeTpj7so : 2006-08-02 17:25 ID:teBu8vAC

No. From what I can tell your relationship will be dead by Christmas unless something changes. Let's face it she has put up with a long distance relationship for over a year now and it's obvious what she needs is physical contact that you haven't provided nearly enough of. If you really love her you'll let her be with the other man who she is happier with.

Don't hold on to something pointless like this. There are plenty of good women closer to you.

9 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-02 17:42 ID:+k0a79ay

humbaba your a disgrace! why would anyone just give up! Their relationship lasted for a long time and that means he still has a chance! "The light never fades, it just dims"-Me

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-02 17:56 ID:teBu8vAC

>>9

He would give up if he really loved her. She's found a man who she likes better it's that simple.

Her new man can kiss her goodnight and even buy her things she wants. Not to mention sex. He can't even kiss her good-night or afford to buy her things. Let alone good sex.

So why should he force her to wait a few months for sex or even his own touch when she can have it now with a person she is happy with. The only thing he is going to do if he clings onto her is cause her problems.

That's why if he really loves her he will let her go.

11 Name: humbaba!5IPeTpj7so : 2006-08-02 17:57 ID:teBu8vAC

>>10
Forgot tripcode.

12 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-02 18:02 ID:+k0a79ay

IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX IT'S ABOUT LOVE! this whole thing is a test of love.All you people who believe in giving up are weak.It's not about rich or poor, better or worse.It's about winning the heart.

13 Name: humbaba!5IPeTpj7so : 2006-08-02 18:21 ID:teBu8vAC

14 Name: humbaba!5IPeTpj7so : 2006-08-02 18:34 ID:teBu8vAC

Anyways for you, TokyoJapan22, I write song.

I quote myself
I want you to quote me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you to quote me
I quote myself
I want you to quote me
I quote myself
I want you to quote me

Chorus:
I don't want to quote anybody else
When I think about you
I quote myself
I don't want to quote anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

You're the one who makes me feel angry
You're the one who makes me whine
When you're around I'm always bitching
I want to make you die

I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
A fool could see
Just how much I want attention from you
I get down on my knees
I'd quote anything for you

Chorus

I quote me
I don't want to quote anybody else
And when I think about love
I quote myself
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah

Anyways til >>1 gets back I'm not posting in this thread anymore.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-02 22:13 ID:oiIkM2lJ

tokyojapan22: you are fascinating. please tell us more about yourself.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-02 22:20 ID:+YD/Udy4

I'd say do not give up, but waiting until Christmas is way too long, you should act sooner

17 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-03 02:23 ID:+k0a79ay

No he should wait till Christmas! Doing that tells her he was patient.If he just pops in, it's not magical.You see there's a time for everything! Christmas is a time for giving so give your heart on Christmas!That'll surely boost up your charm!=)

I'm 14 years old and go to a highschool in San Diego.I'm a major nerd and have been humiliated for most of my life. I really enjoy helping people and that's me.

18 Name: humbaba!5IPeTpj7so : 2006-08-03 05:48 ID:teBu8vAC

TokyoJapan22 I've realised now I was wrong to insult you. You're right, and I pity you for it. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

19 Name: Troll!!6MhJ5+eg : 2006-08-03 06:02 ID:qQyV/Kbn

>>17, no offence but you should try to help yourself first before helping other people so that you can help better well later.

20 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-03 06:20 ID:UlpAbRZw

Not exactly. Knowledge and and the human mind are two different things.We are all different, in strength and mind. I may have been humiliated and dumped for what I am but helping myself isn't much of a concern for me yet. I'm in HighSchool! I have plenty of time to discover myself fully. Right now I want to keep doing what I do best, helping others with anything I can cover. You can call me your word to the wise! =)

21 Name: Love fiasco-guy : 2006-08-03 09:32 ID:OkXk3PXz

>>20
Wow....that's psychedelic

22 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-03 15:26 ID:+k0a79ay

heh. well yeah.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-03 15:51 ID:8xvjO/Hz

in some ways you can be helpfull TJ, but in some cases i think you need a little more life experience

24 Name: Kail : 2006-08-03 16:15 ID:fYaKgPkq

Last year I was going out with a girl who was in love with me at first, but then I started singing in a band which meant every day after school would be practice, and even though I;d invite her to come hang out with us she always said no and would always hang out with my best friend. Eventually it got to the point where she started falling for him and I told him to cut the shit but he wouldn't and I almost beatthe shit out of him because of it. Anyhoo, she broke what we had to go for him and he broke her heart and she wished she could come back to me but I was a stubborn asshole who wouldn't even acknowledge her existence anymore. Earlier in the year she came back to me and she was all I ever wanted, but before we could start anything new she left me AGAIN for another friend of mine. So all I can say to you dude is just find another or beat the shit out of this guy, if you give it time you'll eventually get over her, it hurts but it'll be worth it when you find someone better and closer to you.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-03 18:10 ID:8xvjO/Hz

>>24
you think parking your fist into someone's face will solve things?
people who use violence are the once's who are weak i must say.

26 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-03 20:13 ID:+k0a79ay

>>24

Hey Kail! Why don't you just not give advice if it's causing trouble. Trouble is something that can become or turn into something more, like a katamari. Katamari's are orbs that roll around picking things up. Trouble is like a katamari, it can pick victims and doing so it'll grow.The more something grows, the bigger it's affect on people. So I suggest that you Kail should find someone else! You need someone who can appreciate your dream of become a musician and still be there for you."If life leads you to your destiny, maybe love will be waiting in the end"-TokyoJapan22

27 Name: Love fiasco-guy : 2006-08-03 20:25 ID:OkXk3PXz

>>26
We are moved to tears by the size of the trubles you caused!

28 Name: humbaba!5IPeTpj7so : 2006-08-03 20:33 ID:teBu8vAC

Well I am pretty sure a real 14 year old girl would have noticed the apology I made and would have said some dumbass comment about it but this TokyoJapan22 is a poor troll.

TokyoJapan22 please go away. Far far away.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-03 20:46 ID:+BHssiYN

Hello everyone. Original poster, here.

Thank you all for the input, and I would say that some things have changed since my last post...

My girlfriend mentioned to me, that it was time for her to lose the guy, because "intrest in someone isn't something you should just throw away." However, before she had time to do that, he messaged her and said that he didn't want to intervene anymore between us. She was hurt, yes, but she wants to work things out between us now, and says she just needs time to heal. I'm doing my best for her now, as I will admit I made plenty of mistakes in the past.
She's really keen on the Christmas concept, and even threatened me last night not to spend a DIME until it was time to get there. Without the hyperbole, I know what she meant, and was glad she was so enthused.
We are well on our way, but would still like to hear what you guys have to say. Comments, input, anything. Your advice helped me alot. Sadly, I have to say to Humbaba, that you did too. TokyoJapan22, however, is trying his best. Come on. He never insulted you, and is indeed young. Cut him some slack for his good intentions. Thanks for your help TJ. The train idea is out, but it's only a day's ride on a bus, though. So I will do that.
In parting for now, I leave what my girlfriend and I have always believed in... "True Love never dies."

Thank you all. Keep commenting! <3

30 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-03 20:52 ID:+k0a79ay

ALLRIGHT! Sorry humbaba for whatever harm I did and I accept your apology.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-04 21:41 ID:Heaven

When you go visit her at Christmas, and keep in mind, its only August, you should propose to have an open relationship with her. Now it may seem weird, but technically you two are going out, but if the situation that would come up or just sudden urges, you won’t do anything that would upset her. The way things seem to be going, she or even you can easily find someone new and end it right there. Hell a small fight may send this relationship into the gutter. I hope for the best for you two, but just expect the worse.

If I sound pessimistic, it’s because I had a shitty life and parents who beat the thought of pessimism in you doesn’t help. Which brings me to another point.

TokyoJapan22, If I ever go to San Diego I can probably spot you as the bright eyed 14 year old who has yet to experience the world. Your hope is admirable and I was once like you, thinking love was the only true constant in the universe; love was the FORCE. However, I have about 10 years on you and the world sucks. I don’t want to say all of my experiences are typical, but shit happens to everyone and things never work out how you plan them. And you my 4ch friend have a lot to learn/experience from real life not from manga.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-04 22:02 ID:+BHssiYN

Fellow anon,

OP again. And I know your view point. I'm very pessimistic and fatalist myself. I know love isn't everything, but she's the last thing I got, ya know?

However, I have mentioned an open relationship with her, and she begs to keep it us and only us. I don't have a problem with keeping it just us, either. That's why she was so torn, earlier. We're faring much better now with the love for one another. Thank you for hoping the best. I like your input. ^^

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-05 12:43 ID:UWnaAbIz

>>1
i can see why she's fallen for another guy when her own guy listens to rhianna -.-

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-06 04:24 ID:+BHssiYN

>>33

I hope that's sarcasm. >>

She's the one who made me listen to the song, because that's how she felt.

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