long distant relationship (35)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-27 19:52 ID:/Z1NCLea

Im having a long distant relationship with a girl and things SEEM to be going great ..exept i read her blog and myspace type thing (not actually myspace i just dont know what it is) and it would seem that afew guys are close to her aswell as me. One has photos on his page of the hugging and stuff anhd i huess imjsut getting abit jelous and down? I always tell her i love her and she says it back, but i cant help but think that shes with someone else while im not there, just to keep her company, yaknow?

Whats going on?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 01:40 ID:zoIXsbzP

How'd you guys meet? How long have you been going out?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 01:44 ID:7z5CFYUU

uhh..depends how old you are. if you're in your teens and doing a long distance thing, then you have to stop kidding yourself.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 01:55 ID:u6UKwICX

It mainly depends on how much you trust your girlfriend. There was another thread similar to this where the girl did get another boyfriend but somehow they worked things out and haven't been happier.
I am currently in a situation similar to yours and I am one of those people who thinks that someone is around the other corner going to stab me (well something to that extent but you get the picture) there will always be that little voice that says "she needs to be held at some point and you cant do that" but you just have to find some way to make it so that you can meet with her at some point, give her something to look forward to. If she does get another boyfriend then don’t get mad at her for getting another boyfriend, get mad at her if she doesn't tell you that she has one. There are certain needs that need to be filled (not necessarily sexual needs).
Keep an open mind, who knows, in a few months if you are still together then you may meet some girl who is very similar to her that you fall in "love" with, even though it wont actually be love, it will be just the need to manifest a physical relationship with your girlfriend.
It mainly depends on how much you trust her. If you trust her enough to not have another boyfriend then you have a fairly solid foundation to a long distance relationship, if you both truly love each other. But, if you cant trust her to not get another boyfriend while still going out with you then there may be problems in your relationship that need to be worked out, and it may be that you have a fear of rejection, extreme jealousy, etc., etc.
How far away from you does she live, how many miles and how long would it take you to get there.

PS: worst case scenario this will happen, go to all threads and ctrl+f unfaithful the thread is called “Unfaithful, and begging for input” that may give you some insight on a wise course of action

>>3 that is not entirely true. I'm sure a long distance relationship between teens is okay, if at least one of them has rich parents who can send him anywhere in the world

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 02:24 ID:Heaven

were you together before you became long distance, or have you always been long distance? have you ever met irl? how frequently do/can you see each other?

>If you trust her enough to not have another boyfriend then you have a fairly solid foundation to a long distance relationship, if you both truly love each other.

something else to consider, do you trust each other enough to have a more open relationship? if you can't see each other at least say one weekend a month or so, you might consider an arrangement whereby you each recognise that you both have physical needs that aren't being fulfilled due to the distance, and tolerate the getting of booty on the side where the need arises. this takes a lot of trust and communication; but then if you're in a long distance relationship and don't have a lot of trust and communication, you don't have much of a relationship...

6 Name: op : 2006-10-28 12:31 ID:/Z1NCLea

Aye we met when she was on holiday here then we exchanged phonenumbers/email addresses, then she came down again for a while etc. She lives about half a days worth of traveling on train from me.

We are teens yes, which makes me think this is just a typical 'teen thing'.. we're both still in college with little income so we dont have much money to see eachother.

both of us are very pysical in the ways of hugging etc so that pretty much enforces what you've said even more.

I know what i should do but i just dont want to because i really really do like this girl alot.. i cant see any real future in us both unless we keep in contact and get together later when the sercumstances are better.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 13:42 ID:pjtN+rR1

I just got into one of these and I know better, after a relationship from NY-to-CA. I've made her my friend, and I have no immediate intention of ever meeting her. She's only 70 minutes away on the train.

The unique thing about the internet and relationships on them is that you have no physical responsibility to the prison - only emotional. It really tells a lot how people can't seem to keep their hands away even when in a so-called purely emotional relationship.

You wish to fuck and comfort your bodies. You're animals. You can address those needs separately, but you might feel guilty.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 14:38 ID:Heaven

dude, 70 minutes on a train is not fucking long distance. gtfo.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 17:32 ID:Heaven

heh. It's a 2 1/2 hour busride to school for me, and I go there everyday.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 17:34 ID:Heaven

>>7

>The unique thing about the internet and relationships on them is that you have no physical responsibility to the prison - only emotional.
>you have no physical responsibility to the prison
>to the prison
>prison

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 18:48 ID:u6UKwICX

I'm with >>8 70 minutes is nothing. stop buying p0rn/weed and go meet her every once in awhile so you dont feel so insecure

12 Name: op : 2006-10-28 23:06 ID:/Z1NCLea

Hehe jsut talked to her now, nothing bout me feeling troubled or owt though. Its weird becasue i jsut hear her voice and it settles me and makes me feel fine and so comforted. Im worrying over nothing bwahahah.

Still gonna fight the long distance \m/

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 00:30 ID:u6UKwICX

dont you just hate it when you talk to her and then it makes you feel all happy, only for her to go away and then you feel like crap because you dont want to lose the happiness that you just had. Get MSN or something like that and get Webcams that kinda gives the illusion of a physical relationship

and yet again 70 minutes is nothing my girlfriend is 14 hours away from me by plane :<

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 02:43 ID:Heaven

>>13
ok, 14 hours by plane is getting ridiculous, lol. imo, if it's too far to travel for a weekend every month, it's too far; and a 14 hour flight each way is like your whole weekend gone already just travelling and recovering...

70 mins on a train, though, is totally doable. hell, you could split a weekend with one day at hers, one day at yours, and a shared train journey in the middle, and still have plenty of the weekend left for spending time together. every week.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 04:45 ID:VpZKfCdR

>>14
i'm not sure 70 minutes on a train even counts as long distance.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 04:56 ID:7z5CFYUU

Copy&Paste this into next convo:

You: Hey Penny.
Penny: O hay thar swty <3
You: We need to talk.
Penny: Ahk! u HaVe My uNdivIded AttEntiOn <3
You: Well the thing is, I'm not quite sure where this relationship is headed.
Penny: wht.do.u.mean? <3
You: Well, I love you and all. I really like being with you. But it's as if there's this invisible wall dividing both of us you know?
Penny: H3h3h3h3h3, i totally get wut u mean! <3
You: Really? Like. I don't have trust issues, but this long distance thing is really testing me.
Penny: lololol i hope U pass! <3
You: Yeah, well it's just so hard when I don't know what you're doing you know. And I see pictures of you with other guys hugging.
Penny: OMG AreYouCallingMeASlut?
You: No, but I don't even have pictures of us hugging together. Just try and understand where Im coming from ok? I love you. I want to be with you. But I hate how far our love has to stretch.
Penny: wow, that"S tHe SweeTest tHing Any oNe HaS sAid 2 me. I Love U Warren, I'M gOin 2 Sleep Now. GniTe bubs. LUV u LonG tiMe <3<3

Convo is closed. Sign out.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 06:47 ID:Heaven

>>16 LOL, but so true, so true

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 10:24 ID:/Z1NCLea

>>16

Wow she kinda.. didnt actauly see what was being said did she?

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 15:15 ID:u6UKwICX

>>16 you forgot to shove something in there about "Except the sky was on fire, with man lust, MY man lust."

20 Name: Vandevi : 2006-10-29 18:56 ID:9dIj1smp

Me too, my (japanese) girl friend lives in Japan. I live in France...
As soon as i will come back in Japan (every summer :'( ), i will meet her

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 20:31 ID:IvSedL1X

>>14

>>ok, 14 hours by plane is getting ridiculous, lol.

I was in a relationship that had me traveling 30+ hours by bus (that's not counting return time, either). Honestly, though, it wasn't that bad. Traveling that way is kind of enjoyable.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-30 00:08 ID:Heaven

>>21

What happened to that relationship? Why did it end?

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-30 18:28 ID:Heaven

>>20
You'll MEET her? You haven't met her yet?

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-31 04:41 ID:Heaven

For those unfamiliar with English, "meet" doesn't have to mean the first time.

I now return you to your regular scheduled viewing.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-07 22:23 ID:+nzgUmd+

Ok the guy who was hugging her, it seems he got her drunk one night and also had his way with her. I havnt beenable to look at porn since without feelnig really bad :(

But yeah shes ok and stuff, this guy is now trying to break mine and her relationship and sahit. I saw through him though ;)

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-07 23:41 ID:GPkWsxfT

>>20
I am in a similar thing. I am currently a student but I visit Japan during Winter and Summer for many weeks to work. My girlfriend is also Japanese. This kind of relationship can be hard at times but we are still in love. ;_;

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-08 00:25 ID:u6UKwICX

well as long as she is okay... Have her report him for rape/attempted rape!

PS: I'm number >>4 so thanks for making me feel better about my long distance relationship. now I will be paranoid also apparently my girlfriend has been asked out by 4 other men since she started going out with me :< but this isn't about me

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-08 11:26 ID:e/xV2G2O

>>25
Umm.

You: So I've been hearing some things..
Him: HARHAR HAR yar so wut.
You: You do realise she's not for you, you know. I AM her boyfriend.
Him: sum ghost of a bf u r. u dun noe sht abt ur ho.
You: I do know that you've been trying to force yourself onto her. You're an absolutely big twad.
Him: o haaha. i dun usually mess wit other ppls gurlz, 'cept da sky was on fire, with man lust, MY man lust dat nite.
You: You make me sick.
Him: she dont luv u liek she luvs me.
You: Oh yeah?!
Copy and paste
You: I love you. I want to be with you. But I hate how far our love has to stretch.
Penny: wow, that"S tHe SweeTest tHing Any oNe HaS sAid 2 me. I Love U Warren, I'M gOin 2 Sleep Now. GniTe bubs. LUV u LonG tiMe <3<3
End of copy and paste
PWNED.
Close conversation.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-08 16:06 ID:Heaven

>>28
who exactly would you say got pwned here because i'm thinking it's the "you" character

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-09 01:52 ID:Heaven

>>29
serious?? you mean to say this won't work??

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-09 20:22 ID:rhV1VQ2w

>>16 SO FUCKING REAL.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-09 23:33 ID:f6TBHPw/

Myspace means nothing. That's no proof. Girls hug people all the time. It's like saying hello.

This relationship seems really weak, if you're worrying about some myspace drama shit. You shouldn't doubt her if this is serious love. Also do keep in mind if you are unmarried and <30, long term relationships rarely work out.

Being young is about options. Why do you want to be in a long-distance relationship anyway? How often do you even see her in person? I don't know about you, but if I love someone I need to be around them all the time, or else I feel the relationship is lacking and I need to fill that gap with someone else.

Anyway this is hard to dicuss with so little information, and being online and all.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-10 05:07 ID:Heaven

>>28
if a girl I know typed like that I'd threaten to kill her on the spot

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-10 13:05 ID:Heaven

>>33
asian doods DIG IT. He3heHeH33Heeh@#HhEdh

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-10 19:28 ID:+nzgUmd+

>>32

Nah its all good im over that now. I know she loves me so i dont worry :)

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