She is in love with my best friend T_T (30)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-28 07:38 ID:Gjbzu9A9

Dear love,

As the title says.. Things are going to be a bit complicated. >_<

It all started when I felt in love with this girl. I met her and we talked every day more with eachother. Though this was only at school.
After some time she told me she thought she was falling in love with someone. I had to guess.. I already had this feeling she liked him.. I refused guessing duh.. and she began talking about someone because she thought, I knew who it was. So I was like “We are talking about him right?” positive reply >_<

Next day I went to this friend to tell him about it. He said I didn’t have to worry because he didn’t liked her in that way. So I was kinda releaved.

I recently got confronted with the fact they are gonna date.  she told me.. >_>

I’m getting really confused at this point.. doesn’t he understand what he’s doing to me right now? This isn’t what a friend is supposed to do right? Help T_T

My emotions getting slung back and forward.

I don’t think she told me she liked my friend because she considers me as a friend because we never did anything together, what’s a result of her suspecting I like her. ( yeah she is stupid telling me that.. thinking I keep that a secret. (normally I do keep secrets but this is just a mixed up situation,,) )

Thanks in advance,

anonymous

(P.S. don't tell me I have to give up on her.. I tried this already serveral times..)

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-28 07:38 ID:Gjbzu9A9

oww... they are going to date either next THURSDAY or sunday..

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-28 07:51 ID:7DvYwTNf

WOW!! I dont know what to say... You have one crazy problem going on... How close is your friend? Does he know how you feel about her, do you really know how you feel about her? You have to ask yourself, what is more important, her, or your friend. I my past I have had friends go after the girls that I liked but I care about my friends more so I was mad for a bit, but I would get over it. If he is a close friend you will just move on with your life, enjoy that fact that they are happy.

4 Name: Hanyuu : 2006-11-28 08:14 ID:mpOq722a

I'm sorry, but that's just love. It isn't always you, so if you truly love her, let her be happy with whom she likes. Sorry, but let this one go, man.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-28 15:33 ID:Gjbzu9A9

>>3

He knows I like her,

in fact he swore me he would never date her, besides.. he didn't liked her. that was something he couldn't do because of me. >_<

it just feels like betrayel.(what it is since he swore..)

He told me today he just accepted to go date her because he was invited. something I do believe.. he sees it just as something friends are going to do. and tells me I shouldn't worry and whenever she tries something he leaves.
but still..

I thought they were going to skate on ice.
and she were gonna teach him that.. glup :|

I don't think he realises it he will lose more friends than just me. My other friends are aware that he is really stupid at this point.

jeezz.. what should I do? >___<

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-28 17:13 ID:ZvSfM4Sl

You're acting childish, just because she likes your friend it gives you no right to become upset with him or her. She has every right to chose who she wants to be with, no amount of whining or complaining on your part will change that. If you were a real man, you'd be glad she found someone she could be happy with.

And as for your friend, what kind of friend to him are you? It's not betrayal, you didn't do anything with her, you never made your feelings apparent. It's not as if he stole her from you since you never had her in the first place. All you're doing now is keeping him from something that might actually be good.

If she's in love with your best friend then you're done. Don't whine about it, that's just the way it works. It's not going to work and it's not as if you can will it to change so just move on.

7 Name: James : 2006-11-28 17:25 ID:R4zytGC6

well.. if your friend is not interested in her, you should show her that she is appriciated by you and stuff and let her know that you will always be there for her but you should not be pushing anything so you can have her.. all in all it is her decision..

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-28 19:13 ID:YM8FKYAs

>>7

If she doesn't like him, she doesn't like him. The reason why she told him she like someone else because she know OP liked her but she didn't feel the same way. It is easier to say that she liked someone else (which is probably the truth) than to say, "I don't like you".

OP your friend is being a douche about this. It is unwritten Man Law that one man will not interfere with another man's pursuit of a girl. But did your friend know of your intentions? If he did, you better talk to him and ask him to be honest and see if he likes her. If he does, back off, he has a better chance than you, if he doesn't ask him to help you out. If he didn't know about your feelings toward the girl then it is your fault for not letting him know.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-28 23:49 ID:aQgzHmDB

>>The reason why she told him she like someone else because she know OP liked her but she didn't feel the same way. It is easier to say that she liked someone else (which is probably the truth) than to say, "I don't like you".

It's possible but I think slightly unlikely. She could be just treating him as a friend, confiding in the op about her feelings for this other guy.

>>OP your friend is being a douche about this. It is unwritten Man Law that one man will not interfere with another man's pursuit of a girl.

What pursuit? There is no pursuit here. Even if the other guy wasn't interested the op would never pursue this girl. He had a chance, he didn't really do anything.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-29 11:39 ID:Gjbzu9A9

>>6

doesn't get it.. he doesn't like her.
she do like him. they are dating.
he knows I like her. why is he dating her if he doesn't like her, and he knows I get fucked up about it?

>>7

busy doing that..

>>8
thought about that too.. :-\

yeah he do know about my intensions and he is also NOT in love with her, or even liking.

>>9 am I missing something? I had a chance?

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-29 18:45 ID:l0Pu98dI

>>10 I'm assuming that since you aren't together, the girl in question (I'm going to call her girlA) doesn't want you as anything more as a friend, we therefore have two possible things that can happen:

1) You talk to your friend and stop him going out with her. She likes your friend the same way you like her right, so imagine if girlA accepted to go out with you, and then her best friend (girlB) stopped her because girlB liked you...that would suck right? Well don't do that to girlA then. Also, your friend, who might just have said that he didn't like girlA because he didn't want to worry you, will also end up getting hurt.
1 = GirlA is hurt. Your friend is hurt. You feel bad about hurting everyone.

2) You let them be, girlA is happy (imagine it was you...she must be..really happy about this date), your friend is happy. You can feel good about making everyone so happy. Also sad music will sound better for a little while after, and you'll have a new story to complain about on 4ch.
2 = everyone's happy apart from you, but you get to feel good...sort of.

Seems like a pretty easy choice here...

unless...

3) You go for the big, stupid, pointless romantic "I LOVE YOU GIRLA"..you get a great big adrenaline rush and then she either says "OH GOD ME TOOO" (probably not) or she sits you down and explains that you two together will never happen, and situation 2) happens.

I went with a preemptive 3 once, and I don't regret getting that stuff off my chest..(I didn't go with "I LOVE YOU" or anything, but same basic jist.) 3 won't get you the girl I'd say, but it should finish off your feelings...

This is all assuming that she doesn't know how you feel, of course.

2 is safest.

Sorry about the rather long and confusing post there...

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-29 20:34 ID:Gjbzu9A9

>>11

no it isn't,

ty in fact ^^

but the fact is.. I know my friend likes an other girl. he told me about her. so if he would go out.. what's the point?
he doesn't like her in that way. I'm pretty sure for that. he basiscally gives her false hope.

that's no use.

and that imaginary thing.
if B would stop A to date with me. yes it would suck, but if she didn;t like me in the first place.. and besides, woman are corrupt believe me. met too many of those.
telling to eachother they like that person. 2 days later they both like the same guy! ^^
winner will dat him. period.

13 Name: Kami : 2006-11-30 17:11 ID:LHYs5DP0

So here I am bored at school browsing sites as I stumbled upon this post.
The titel was suspicious and when I read the first post I knew it for sure.
I'm that friend he told you about and about all he said is true.
I don't have any feelings for that girl but I am indeed going on a "date".
That "date" (notice the "") is in my opinion not all that special and perhaps a way to show I don't like her in that way.
I see it as a friend date. Like going on a date with just a friend or your sister. It's not like If I go on a date with a man or even my sister means that I like like that person. If someone invites me to go somewhere even if I know he/she likes me I would still go if I could. I don't know why I just do it no matter how stupid it may seem but I feel as if I have to accept it as a friend date nothing more. So don't worry OP it's going to be all right ^^

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-30 20:07 ID:ZvSfM4Sl

>>13

Ooh, getting interesting

Young love and drama!!

Stunning, stunning indeed.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-30 20:09 ID:ZvSfM4Sl

>>13

Are you sure you don't like her? Sounds like you're the stud in this triangle for sure. I'm sure she's a at least a halfway decent girl, why don't you give it least a little go?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-30 20:35 ID:Gjbzu9A9

yes... was afraid for that.. -__-'
never post at a site again he gave me >_>

>>15

stud.. no..
particulair.. suppose..

things are getting a bit complicated atm..

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-30 23:06 ID:sz+w9z6N

>>1

>_>

I Had this exact same thing happen to me. But, I was in Japan on a Youth Exchange when they told me, so I couldnt do much.

She didnt really love me, so no hope there v_v...but If I were you, if you have a chance, go for it, otherwise let her be...

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-04 11:01 ID:LHYs5DP0

>>16

well thank you bastard XD

Just had date had fun now what

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-04 15:30 ID:Heaven

>>18

<_<

sage topic plz.

posted this same day you posted your reply ;-)

isn't meant offensive.. you know.. >_<

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-14 16:19 ID:Gjbzu9A9

>>13
(OP)
Dear Love,

read 13 first.

he does have feelings for her.
and no, it isn't going to be OK.

I expect the two of them are going to be together very soon.

I should be glad right? Sure I would be glad if he got a girl. butt.. I feel like I can't trust him anymore for the rest of my live. So we never 'll be friends again, since we are supposed to trust friends. No I can't forgive him for this reason.

It's a really important value for me.
that;s the way I am.

I am in a very unstable mental situation atm.

what do you guys think of this?
what should I do?

21 Name: saken : 2006-12-15 00:30 ID:XylazTec

I guess it's wrong what u try to do... i guess that i know how ur feeling... btw the girl that he's talking about is my ex-girlfriend :)...

anyway.. back to the topic...

I only can give you the advise that you should leave her... because that makes nonesens and it just destroy you.. your talking about "i dont know if i can trust my best friend anymore"

in my opinion you already know what you are thinking about that... a real friend wouldn't do that..

so be smart ... just close this session of your life... because there will be other girls and other friends :)

its just like always ... love comes.. love goes away..

and anyway you shouldn't forget about which girl we are talking about...

i dont think that she probably will change her mind... Q_0

iam sorry dude.. i act really stupid now... be a nice guy and leave them alone... i know that it will be over in about 1 month :P for all of you :)

off-topic: achja, als ik arjan ontmoet... maarja ... ik heb genoeg van dat gezeik over die bullshit.. elke dag de zelfde shit die ik van aitana hoor... beter hoop j, da j me nooit ontmoet :)

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-15 15:10 ID:Gjbzu9A9

marvelous.. now I know she read my mail, didn;t answered to my explanation, why things went this way I can't seem him anymore. AND she told her ex-german-boyfriend..(which you are right? heard lots of things about you..) -_-'

I know there 'll be other girls. yeah. I actually think I'm gonna forget her very soon.

it 'll be over soon yeah,, I know. I predicted it.

"beter hoop je, dat je me nooit onmoet"
Is that threat? >_< dun like those things. rly watch it..

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-15 15:21 ID:NvhSHp1z

You're not stupid OP. You know exactly what you need to do, you just don't want to or are scared. Once you finally are able to give up on all this, relax and move on, you'll look back and smack your forhead, and be embarassed for the way you were acting.

Of course your friend and this girl were probably going to end up going out. People have fun, laugh, find love where they didn't meant to. It's actually a pretty instantaneous thing for the most part. I've never ever seen someone who the girl never saw as a potential end up going out with her later. Sounds like she was just hanging out with you to get closer to your friend, noticed you had feelings for her (which were/are probably obvious) and told you discreetly about how she felt for your friend.

In conclusion - You don't control anyone's love except your own. therefore, go out, hang out in places or with people that won't be near these two, try to put it out of your mind, try not to care about it, eventually it will go away, and you can find someone who can appreciate you in a way that she cannot.

24 Name: saken : 2006-12-21 13:43 ID:XylazTec

"AND she told her ex-german-boyfriend..(which you are right? heard lots of things about you..) -_-'" dunno why it is important that iam from germany ... Oo ... but nevermind O_O...

so u heard alot of things about me ? did u? So... could u tell me something... i would love to know what aitana told ya about me.

Anyway i guess the topic is over...... btw

Iam a sexy man ! hoedoe....

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-21 14:18 ID:Heaven

topic is over idd.

just fill under "Link:" the word "sage" to prevent it from bumping.

about that germany thing.. said that just to verificate you were that boyfriend.. now I know whom I'm dealing with.

and.. no.
won;t tell you a thing.. >_>
I think if I do.. the whole school finds out since I think she told everyone about this thread -_-'
besides that. it remains a secret.

and note.. you shouldn't use any names in /love/ again.
it's a rule ^_^:

  • Please no personal details like names, addresses etc. We don't want to know.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-22 02:12 ID:Heaven

bros before hos dude

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-31 22:21 ID:0lQMBPVS

i have been in this situation and i did three things

  1. i waited i knew my friend and here would have a difference or something they will split them
  2. if one doesn't happen just tell your friend say what you have done and how you feel maybe he does not feel so strongly
  3. After all else fails and you know this will not change give it a blind round shot at the girl of your dreams( tell her!!!!)

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-02 18:15 ID:Heaven

note..

2 was done before 1

1 will happen definitly

3 she knows... Yatta!

29 Name: fart man : 2007-01-03 11:54 ID:omH1igKR

>>1
just too late. everything is too late now.. she has already sucked his cock, and her face was soaked with his sperm. he has tasted her pussy already, and put his giant cock into it..

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-05 10:13 ID:Heaven

fuck you :)

you like to hurt people eh? :)
you really like it eh?

people who want to hurt others most of the time have SERIOUS ISSUES.

what's wrong with you?
did you got raped by your dad or something? :)
oww... dam.. that must have hurt..

do me a favour and GTFO

(note: it didn;t hurt me even a bit :D, mission failed ;) )

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