First of all I should probably tell you that I am extremely shy; which like many people is the main reason why I am posting here. I have grown really bored of all of the girls in my school for the past year, surprisingly enough I can't seem to find a single girl that I can relate myself to in any shape or form and thus I had pretty much given up hope on finding a girl I actually liked at school. But then recently I noticed a girl in the grade below me who, for whatever reason, really caught my interest. Now I see her fairly often going through school (she is short and has black hair) I start to feel more and more attracted to her; I see her alone a lot and she seems like she could be really shy (although I honestly have no way of judging this). Then all of the sudden the next day while I was sitting outside waiting for a friend I noticed that she was also there. For some reason (and this could just be my imagination) but it seemed like she almost wanted to start a conversation with me but was too shy to? As for me, I always feel like I may be reading into something too much so I of course did not make any move. So I am wondering, how do I approach someone I do not know at all? I would feel very awkward walking up to a complete stranger (especially one who is not in any of my classes and I know nothing about) so is there any way to make this seem less like I am the sort of person who is just trying to "pick her up" or something like that? Thanks in advanced!
"Hey, whats up?"
Nice and simple.
I prefer a unique method of introducing myself or starting a conversation. Of course, I haven't had too much luck with the opposite sex, so my advice might not be good. But it's good to have a notable first impression so she'll remember you. But a good way to break the ice is always to bring up something that you both can relate to, like an event or something (just not the weather unless there's something extremely noteworthy about it).
How do you know what to bring up if you don't know anything about her?
>>2
I guess the reason why I am reluctant to say something like this is because doesn't that seem to make it rather obvious that I'm trying to make a "move" on her or whatever? Although I suppose it can't be helped.
>>4
Use the environment to your advatage. Is there something going on worth talking about? See anyone wearing something they shouldn't? Heck, you can even use the color of paint on the walls.
Spot the girl, go up to her and half talk to her half talk to no-one in particular, and say something like, "This place is okay and all, but damn if whoever painted it shouldn't be hauled off to prison for torturing our eyes." When she replies back, say something brazen and witty in return, something that would make her choke on her drink and laugh while thinking "Oh my God I can't believe he said that!".
You need to have the right mind-set, while I call the Three C's: Cocky, Confident, and Comical.
You don't even need to BE any of those three. Just learn to fake it. If you have a good imagination, pretend to be someone else, like an actor or literary character you enjoy.
>>6
i think ive read this somewhere before, but thanks this helps alot
>>7
You've heard it before because it's a common way to approach, and it works.
>>6
I am going to try something along these lines. I often see her in the library and am going to go there one of these days (happen to be there) and try to pull something off like this. I just need to work up some courage first. I will let you guys know what happens when it does though. Also I think it may be confirmed that she in fact likes me (although I may be looking too much into this) earlier today I saw her and her friend walking together in the hall and I was walking by and the both of them wouldn't stop staring at me (ack awkward! orz). Then I remembered how they both signed up for Literature club the day I was running sign ups but then never showed up. Hmm perhaps this means something?
Stop making things complicated. "Hey, what's up?" is more than enough. Just make some conversation. It's not that difficult.
"Hi, my name is --Your Name Here--, what's your name please?"
If they ask you why you want to know just say
"Because, I saw you and decided that I wanted to meet you"
Dead simple.
Keeping it simple usually is the best way.
Ok today I was sure I was going to approach her, I finally worked up the courage. Sadly as I was going through the day thinking more and more about it, what will I say afterwards? I am not very good at keeping a conversation going in general so how would I be able to keep some sort of conversation going (beyond just the first line) without really knowing anything about her?
just talk to her, hell it does not have to be a planed conversation, it is easy when it is not planed
>so how would I be able to keep some sort of conversation going (beyond just the first line) without really knowing anything about her?
You can keep the conversation going by finding more about her.
>>15
To expand on that, look at what she's wearing, or the jewelry she's wearing. If she has books, comment on them. If you don't see anything, then comment on your surroundsing more. If in a coffee shop, mention what flavor you like. If she looks in certain directions, look that way too and find what she's looking at.
You're probably most afraid of starting a conversation and having those long akward silences where you can't think of anything to say and you look stupid, right?
And while the only real way to overcome this is to practice, you probably don't want to "waste" a practice on this girl you like, right?
Well, then I suggest going out and just getting a little used to talking to strangers and carrying on a little past the 'comfortable' length of a conversation. You'll catch on quickly if you put your mind to it, and real life practicing will be much more useful than any amount of going through possibilities in your head beforehand.
Still, it doesn't hurt to think of one or two casual things to talk about that won't seem totally random beforehand. And worst case scenario, if you feel that silence coming on, have a pencil and paper ready and say something like:
"Hey, I've got to go, but I just wanted to say I ___(compliment)____ and I would love to ____(event)____ with you. Here is my number ____(write it down)____, and if you're up for it, give me a call"
The compliment can be something like "I find that I respect you" if you know her even a little, or even "I like the confidence you carry yourself with" if that's true at all, or "I find you stunningly attractive". Something simple and charming.
The event should be something casual since you don't know her that well, like a cup of coffee or a lunch at some cafe or such on/next to the university. Something casual.
If you do this, you can get out of there, and having a conversation over a conversation on a casual date like lunch is MUCH easier than striking one up and keeping it going on the fly. You'll both be more relaxed and open to conversation that way, so THIS IS YOUR GOAL, even if the first conversation does go well. Unless she's had a secret crush on you, in which case you can right to a full-fledged date.
Ok guys you have given me a lot of confidence now it's to see if I can make any progress! I am going to be busy on Monday so I'm planning on going for it on Tuesday! I will let everyone know what happens. I am very anxious. For some reason now it feels like every day I delay is another day I'm missing out on something great. Thanks again!
Well its Thursday...so what happened?!?!
it sounds like the girl is also interested in you too
I was so ready too. It seems like she hasn't been at school all week? I am sorry for not updating straight away I have been somewhat busy with school. I don't know what happened I haven't seen her at all! I will try again on monday if she is there and I see her! Thanks again guys.