a while ago i met a girl at school, and she's the really out-going and fun to be with type. I'm the type of person that is kinda shy and really not all that out-going but we became friends anyways. so after a while, I start to have these feelings for her, but because she see's me as a good friend she starts telling me about a guy she met and likes... i know it's not mebecause she told me his name and he's a pretty goodlooking guy. but, i kinda know him, and he does not like the idea of the whole "gf+bf" thing.
so, after a while she invites me to go to the mall with her for christmas shopping, so i go and have a good time with her and meet a few of her friends along the way, and she meets a few of mine that we run into. so i'm just all in all not knowing what to do.
>.<
damnit man...
Do you have any idea how many times I've heard this same story?
"Well, there's this girl I like but I'm really shy so we're just friends. Recently she met this other guy who she likes and now they're planning on having 20 kids, etc, etc, etc. What do I do!?"
If you didn't act until now it might be too late, you could end up being a friend with her forever or at least until the object of her admiration drops off the face of the earth for whatever reason.
Here's your problem, your shy. duh...
This isn't hard to figure out, you're just too nervous to deal with this simple reality. What you do is you get to know her, then from there you progressively get closer to this other person. Either things will work out or nothing will come of it and then you just move on.
YOU DO NOT CONFESS! Or some other such nonsense that people around here seem so eager to go on about...
On the other hand, don't stay in the safe zone forever, you have to put yourself out a little bit. If you only ever meet the object of your affection in the context of a trip to the mall with 20 other people nothing will ever happen. You can talk all you want about the weather for years or other superficial crap but until you actually get to know that person and do things with them you won't get anywhere.
Go to a museum together, grab a cup of coffee. Enjoy yourself with said other person and see how things work out.
Of course, not much of this is going to be helpful with the girl you're talking about now. It could very well be helpful though with people you meet in the future.
Remember, you may be shy but it's not as if you have to put yourself out there all at once.
I'm just so confused with girls now-a-days. All of my self confadince went down the drain when I liked one girl, got really close to her, we shared all of our problemes and all that, and then i confessed that i liked her more than a friend, and she said that all she saw me as was a good friend. I tried again the next year to see if anything changed, but nothing changed, she still only see's me as a friend.
so, now i have found someone else and I have no idea how to react after being shot down once
How about you avoid being friends with them in the first place. Seeing how the last girl sees you only as a friend and this girl obviously sees you as a friend, maybe you should try avoiding becoming just the friend and try to become the boyfriend.
Well, how do I do that? I feel that I need to know a girl well before i try anything and if i'm not her friend. and, it seems that it's always someone that beats me to the question. and it's usually some better looking guy. Like those guys in the korean drama's. I'm thinking she might be getting over him (she does not talk about him as much) So yea
That is what dating is for. I mean after a few times of meeting her you can determine if you want to go out with her.
The reason someone beats you to the question is because you wait to long. Asking a girl out is nothing more than a chore. I mean the first time you do it it is hard but after that it really gets easier because it is the date that counts not asking her out.
I doubt she is getting over him. And if she is it does not mean you have a better shot. My advice is to ask her if she know any girls that like you or any advice about a girl. This will help by creating a little demand for you. If there is a girl that likes you more power to you. Or if you just name a random girl you can go out with her just for experience. I mean, high school is suppose to be learning right?