ok, well, im in a bit of a situation here.
i found this incredible guy that was really cute and sweet, and i started to like him. i honestly thought that it was a lost cause, but then his friend told me that he liked me too. so then he and i figured things out, and started dating. we were almost up to one month, then he just tells me on the last day before winter break that he doesnt want a girlfriend. distraught that i was already dumped, i was/am at a complete loss as to what to do now. should i call him and try to get back together? i know for a fact that he still likes me alot, and i still do too. but he was severely depressed and usually i would get really down too, when he was in a low dip. making out with him was really fun and arousing(obviously) and im also rather upset that thats over with as well.
im not really sure what to do....im thinking of possibly trying to hook up with him, because i know that he was scared of the emotional entanglements of a realtionship....but that would just hurt me even more at the same time, as well as him.
i hate to admit it, but i do have intimate needs too, so would finding a hook up be much too rash? or, even worse, trying to hook with my ex?
or.......
ack! i dunno what to do!!!!
Well if he doesn't want a relationship, there's not much you can do.
If by intimate needs you mean sex, I would stick to masturbation rather than "find a hook up." But that's a choice of lifestyle, I guess.
I agree with >>2
You're either gonna "fret" about it for a long time or you can find the courage to do something else. What are your hobbies? I made the mistake of "fretting" over a girl for a long time and it did me no good. So I hope you can find something else to do: hang out with friends, sports, play games, etc.
Good luck! :)
>>2
would u?? i would find a hook up rather than masturbating.. but as u said thatsa choice of lifestyle, so...
>>1
well, i advise u that find a hook up rather than masturbating by using a vibrator. Although the new hook up is not as exciting as ur "ongoing hook up", better than nothing(at least better than a vibrator). by keeping dating hook ups, u might find the best guy in the world that is far beyond ur ongoing one.
if dating new pple cant be an option, then find something else to do, like >>2 says. maybe, it also let u be distracted from ur sorrow.
wish u a good luck
its almost time to go back to school
and im a bit worried that i'll see him first thing in the morning, and think, "fuck im not over him at all."
then i'll go begging on my knees for another chance and potray myself as a pathetic loser, and im going to try hard not to do that...
so should i just avoid him? or confront him and tell him that hes not saving anyone by pushing me away? (because he thinks hes 'saving' me from him and his depression) ooooor....just be nice and friendly but not personal????
Don't hook up with him. Just try to act like nothing happen. If he wants to talk, talk. Avoid making big deals. If he wants to get back together he will let you know, but until then just try to get on with your life. Just don't force anything because there might be something you don't know and you can make it worse.
ok. deep breath
i still do want to be friends with him, though, so should i just act normally like i do with my other friends? because....well, im a touchy person, soooo i dont want him to take it the wrong way, but then if i stop myself from being normal, then it'll be obvious that im.....restraining myself.
and i was going to call him up to see if some of his friends and him wanted to go see a movie with me, basically just as friends. but all my other friends told me that that was a bad idea to make a friend move too soon.
ah, and one more teeny problem: his friend,(lets call him tim) is really cute and im rather attracted to him......and hes been flirting with me quite alot. would it be a bad move if i hooked up with him? not serious dating, but just for fun?
>>7
You and the first guy broke up, therefore you have no attachment beyond friendship to him. If this Tim guy is interesting, go for it, its the first guy's loss if it works out. I say give it a try, but maybe wait a month before making your move. I don't recommend getting back with the first guy, he might break your heart again....
Me, I dated a girl for two months, bitch dumped me over some stupid divorced parents issues, I was depressed for a while, but got over it amazingly quickly. And in November I met the woman of my dreams, and we're gonna be engaged by the end of this year. it just happens, keep looking is what I say, you're still young
>>8 I envy you man, seriously do. I also dated a girl, just under two months. And I wish I have your luck.
Hooking up with a friend for fun? Sounds like a whorish thing to do. But that is just me.
>>10
I think whores usually hook up with strangers for cash.
sigh i didnt really mean that by dating Tim, it would be whorish, i meant more like....not going extremely heavy into each other mentally? just a normal dating realtionship, i guess. but wow. i was talking to one of my friends (that happens to be a girl)about my ex and etc, and we're both bi so we were listing the really ultra pretty girls in our school and in all serious-ness she said me. i was completely taken aback, and i realised that we had been subtle-ly flirting with each other throughout our 2 hr phone call, and that i was attracted to her. am i reading way too much into one phone call?
sigh i didnt really mean that by dating Tim, it would be whorish, i meant more like....not going extremely heavy into each other mentally? just a normal dating realtionship, i guess. but wow. i was talking to one of my friends (that happens to be a girl)about my ex and etc, and we're both bi so we were listing the really ultra pretty girls in our school and in all serious-ness she said me. i was completely taken aback, and i realised that we had been subtle-ly flirting with each other throughout our 2 hr phone call, and that i was attracted to her. am i reading way too much into one phone call?
sry didnt mean to make 2 of the same post!
Seems to me you are emotionally unstable at the moment and should not attempt any relationships for some time.
It might be you who hurts the next person.
(im basing this opinion on you wanting 3 persons at the same time: girlfriend, your "ex", and tim)
yesterday was my first day back at school.....
and he was a complete and utter bastard.(my ex.)
his friend, lets call him jon, has become one of my friends so we sit and eat lunch together. and my ex usually sat with us, but yesterday he just droped off his backpack, said 'watch this' then went galavanting off with about 5 other gaggling girls that were all over him and kept on glancing my way. they were snickering and smirking the whole time. then jon tells me that my ex thinks that i hate him, so i go up to my ex after school just to say that i dont hate him, and i just want to be friends. in the middle of my sentence, he cuts me off with a 'yeah watever.' and walks away to another huge group of girls. he's being such a bloody bastard, and i have to see him for the rest of the year, aprox. 3 times a day or more. i dont really want to seem like the evil ex girlfriend, but i dont know how to act around him cept being bitchy or completely ignoring him. oh and he brought a girl along to our lunch table and they were whispering and flirting. think its his new girlfriend. i could punch him right now.
He's provoking you. He is hoping that you will get jealous and crawl back to him.
I don't know, simply ignore the bastard, perhaps?
uh...was there a reason to why he broke it off with you? have you talked about it fully to him? it'd be good for closure u know, and you wouldn't care as much/understand why he's doing what he's doing.
well i have been trying to talk about it with him, but he refuses to even know what im talking about. i want to talk about it with him because he never really fully explained himself and i think that he, at the very least, owes me an explanation. he just said that he doesnt want a girlfriend, so then i asked him if he was dumping me. he said yeah, and that he still likes me alot. but doesnt every guy say that, just to spare the girl's feelings? god i hate that, and its obvious that he doesnt even want to be friends with me....he prolly is still attracted to me, but maybe it was because we were pretty close and that scared him.
today at lunch, he comes over and sits at my table (because his friend(and mine) jon is there with me) and starts talking to him but makes sure that his back is to me the whole time. he refused to look in my direction, and when i said hi, he didnt even turn around. i cant believe he thinks its fine for him to haul his sorry ass anywhere near me and ignore me like that. fine, he may ignore me, but then why does he do it right next to me?