Please help me! I am never interesting! (20)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-25 22:04 ID:OH9TaMxF

I have gotten into a great relationship in the past month or so and am really enjoying myself and being with her. However I am starting to get to the point where I am becoming boring I think! I am very afraid of this happening and thought it might. Basically I have no clue what to talk about with her anymore. I run out of things to say quickly and then there is sort of that awkward silence and I feel very bad. How do I become more interesting or atleast become able to talk more? I mean I try to go along with the subject and such but sometimes it just comes to a halt. Please help, I would really hate for this to end because of me being so boring and useless! Thank you friends!

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-25 23:04 ID:OH9TaMxF

I am in the same situation. I am with the perfect girl, honestly I think I will never find anyone who I will like as much as I like her and yet I am unable to come up with things to say as of late. It is all because I am boring.

I feel terrible because I simply want her to be happy and yet I cannot even be entertaining for her. I have a lot of trouble to think of things to talk about and spend most of my day just trying to plan for it and still can't get anywhere it seems. I also need help. Please help us, thanks.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-25 23:18 ID:B3Uslkmg

Ask questions, let her do the talking, nod, etc...

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-26 08:53 ID:Heaven

>>1-2
Since you are the same guy, obviously you are in the same situation.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-27 03:20 ID:Heaven

Maybe you're just a boring person. There is really no use in trying to change your personality just to get a girlfriend.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-27 13:46 ID:Heaven

Get more hobbies.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-27 23:16 ID:gLW0EzNz

Read more about current events I guess plus other stuff. For example, this girl I like (with no chance for me since she's married and has a son, despite being not so older than me), it turns out she and I both like to read about the Magadalene Conspiracy theories.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-27 23:25 ID:dbjdwFl1

What kind of silence is it? Are you sure it's an awkward silence? It might be a comfortable one.

My boyfriend and I are often quiet together, but we do talk, and find each other interesting.

If you try to be interesting, it will show, and that comes off as desperate for attention.

9 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-01-27 23:25 ID:cikMTxM7

Frigid Onanoko think it quite natural you run out of things after while! If want have fun together, do fun things. Plan vacation together. Relationship need new scenery sometime - it make you more distinguishable from daily life to each other, make you remember what love, like in other person. Perhaps just meetings with friends, at dinner.

bye!

10 Name: fart man : 2007-01-29 01:24 ID:WpB/SZ2F

i agree with >>9's idea(although she hates melol) doing things together will do u good, for sure.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-29 05:03 ID:vBM4lUXQ

I agree with >>8 and >>9.

The two of you might be running out of things to say because you don't do any activities together. It'll give you something to do, talk about, and you can learn about each other at the same time.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-29 06:39 ID:PwMyYVNx

The simplest thing to do is to watch a movie or even just a tv show. It takes me and my girlfriend 4 hours to watch a 2-hr movie because we keep pausing it to make stupid comments.

13 Name: Densha : 2007-02-01 12:34 ID:1VTQZH1N

today on the train. there was this old man harrassing a beautiful chick

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 19:49 ID:Heaven

>>13
oh dude, years ago i came up to a story like that.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-13 16:09 ID:hYiyb3Wa

>>1

A relationship that needs a constant feed of verbal interaction to survive is an empty and horrible thing. You should be able to have comfortable silences together just as much as comfortable conversations. To be able to casually just shut the fuck up together for extended periods of time and still feel good about your relationship is an excellent sign you have a mutual understanding for this thing called love.

In the meantime, just fuck and do whatever else is enjoyable together. But do things together, do things you like to do and bring her along, feel the urge to share your interests with her. If she loves you she should have no problem to love what you like to do. Unless it's something really fucked up and you need to die for it.

Eventually you will feel natural about both talking and not talking and will only talk when you have something you wanna say, and that will totally be alright. It's ok to be boring imo, it's ok to just sit and watch eachother, it's ok to dishwash together without fucking orating, it's ok to start up sex without asking for permission, it's ok to not try so hard about the casual and irrelevant things in life. Stop caring about shit; grow sanity.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-13 23:19 ID:lot+R8aa

#15 has a good point.

Also, make sure you're relaxed and being yourself. You shouldn't feel like you're constantly editing, censoring, or preventing conversation topics.

Easy conversation requires a kind of selfless detachment. Say what comes to mind. Feed off of your partner's conversation.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-13 23:21 ID:kKbFAb8i

Social interaction is bounded by an ability to communicate effectively on an interpersonal level, so I'd recommend that you talk to her as much as you like. The subject matter of conversation is infinitely nuanced, therefore your judgement is as good as anybody else's.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-14 01:28 ID:AIwNCoa0

Be spontaneous, Do random things with her each day, girls like surprises, or you could always let her talk and you just listen, girls love a guy who will listen to them, but dont just pretend your listening and nod your head like most guys would do, be better than them, be the guy that does listen and then when shes done offer advice, solutions, etc.

19 Name: Nibbles : 2007-02-14 01:33 ID:AIwNCoa0

>>15 and >>16 are right as well. As the saying goes, Like them for the good things and Love them for their faults. If she loves you and you love her, then there should be nothing to worry about.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-22 22:25 ID:D6jE/Mfi

If you don't have anything in common it's hard to find anything to talk about

I'm still waiting to find a girl who wants to listen to me talk about the program I wrote in PHP or Perl... or how I did this or that today and it's better than what I did before, etc. Luckily I also watch some Anime which more girls seem to enjoy than programming...however, I think I'll end up, if I ever get a girl, with the type that just listens, says "well that's good," and then tells me stuff that I don't care about either. As long as either party listens... it's alright :p

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.