She Loves Me, But I Don't Love Her Anymore (10)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 19:56 ID:S0PMWjjo

know it's long but I really need your help....

I have a big problem. My best friend, about 2 months ago found out I was bi and that also I had a big crush on her these past 2 years. Well, a week after telling her all that, she suddenly decided she was bi too. Her sudden "realization" of her sexuality made me skeptical. I mean, all these years she has been telling me about all these guys she thought were totally hot. I had even asked her a few times before what she thought about lesbians and she replied by saying it was nasty and wrong. So now she's only checking out girls, and pays no attention to guys whatsoever. And now she's suddenly getting crushes on girls in like 1 day! I mean, someone like her suddenly having a HUGE flip like that? It makes me wonder if she's bi just because of me. But, I don't want her to suddenly change her lifestyle just because of me. About a month ago she started doing things like holding my hand, kissing me on the cheek, but before all the small things she went ahead and did something big. She decided she wanted to run before she crawled. That really made me upset. She started things off the wrong way. I mean, I haven't even had a real kiss yet. I didn't want things to be like that. And the part that makes me upset is that she said she did it to "Prove to me that she cares." She constantly does things to prove herself. But I only want her to do things just because she wants to. Not to just prove a point.

All these reasons and more have made my love for her fade away. Another reason is that guys constantly hit on her, and she just takes it. She doesn't react to them, but she doesn't stop them. I don't want a girlfriend that constantly has guys after her. (btw, she was never my girlfriend).

Well, to finally get to the point, I told her that I'm confused about my feelings. That I'm not sure who I like anymore. And then yesterday night she called and we talked about normal things. Then she started asking who I like and I said no one. I really am confused about who I like right now. But she kept on asking and asking. So I hung up on her. So then she called back and apologized saying she’s sorry she cares. I told her that I need to work this out by myself, and she went on to say that she could help. Then she went into this long monologue in tears saying that she wants to protect me from the world no matter what it be even if it’s her she went into many other things. Then she said, “I love you.

2 Name: Anonym~!u2azanJkqA : 2007-02-01 21:09 ID:zw+CoE+Q

Hmm...Well, just tell her you don't feel that way about her, and then, as a friend, say that she shouldn't just turn off men, but to decide after a while.

3 Name: Anonym~!u2azanJkqA : 2007-02-01 21:19 ID:zw+CoE+Q

Or find her a man so sexy she swears off women.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-02 06:57 ID:Heaven

Anon + Tripcode = suuuuuuuuuck.

5 Post deleted by moderator.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-12 20:09 ID:Heaven

to comment on one single line from >>1:
"I don't want a girlfriend that constantly has guys after her."
If she encourages people to chance after her, then you can complain. She can never "stop" people, she can however discourage them. One does not control the lives of others. If they're gonna be retarded asshats and fanboy/girl too much even though such actions have been shown to not approved, it's their own fault and not the fault of the one they stalk.

Some people feed off negative attention, too. "Any attention is better than none."
I'm not going to claim that it's what she's realized/assumed, but it is a possibility. Ignoring certain actions to death is a way of coping with them.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-12 20:13 ID:hFJoosAv

>>1

Just tell her: "You love me, I know this, but I don't love you. You became someone else, someone I don't appriciate. Hey, my love was based on stupid and superficial characteristics, I'm sorry I turned you into a fucking lamo in my eyes with my idiotic confession. In the end I didn't care enough about you to be serious about this and roll with the punches, and you're obviously only obsessing about me, you don't really know what love is all about in the first place. But hey, neither do I, I'm too confused at this point, yeah we are both totally fucking out there like pluto."

You need to accept the fact that your pereception of love is irreversibly damaged, and your desires will only push you into stillborn relationships on retarded conditions, everything you touch with your affections will turn to shit and break down before your eyes. You will be forced to sit back and witness how your life becomes one endless fucking smorgasbord of broken relationships, leaving people behind you, damaged for life.

Good luck!

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-13 10:59 ID:Heaven

>>7 is made out of brilliant and awesome, though only up to the point where >>7 implies >>1 is forever caught in this crap.

>>1 can better herself, and is not forever destined to be stuck in this. >>1 can grow up just as well as anyone else, she just needs to actually get herself together and actually do that.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-13 14:23 ID:hFJoosAv

>>8

Saying there is no way out is meant to spur a violent reaction of non-acceptance towards the statement in the recieving party. It sometimes works.

If a person is not of the character who stubbornly refuses to accept his/her own uselessness, they will not indulge in good advices no matter how they are formulated, and in that case they are indeed a lost cause. As is 95% of the human population, and now I'm being a bit on the positive side with my estimate.

Besides I sincerely don't believe this person will ever make a 180, but I've been known to be wrong in the past. Usually while being optimistic though.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-26 06:12 ID:m/688dz+

your friends not bi. i'm convinced that she's just doing that to get your attention. people don't change in an instant. i also think the reason why your friend just let other guys hit on her is bcause she's testing if you'll be jealous. your friend is totally into you so i bet she's doing everything she can to get through to you.

if you don't love her, i suggest telling it to her as soon as possible. it will get one more thing of your mind!

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