Hello all.
A short background so you know where I'm coming from. I liked this girl in high school; it turned out she wasn't into guys. I desperately tried pursuing her in spite of the fact, to no avail. It caused me a great deal of pain just knowing that me being with her was futile. My psyche was changed; I'm more irritable now, and now and then I'll fall into bouts of depression. She doesn't know this.
Ever since, I've started to notice all around me, less and less hetero couples. And I came to thinking-
Do us men fail it now? Is it not exciting anymore to be with a guy if you're a girl? Is it because (as another girl told me) we're pigs? When you look at the male and female physiognomies, I'd be lying if I said the female body wasn't more attractive. Is it because in terms of clothing, guys will usually wear just a tshirt and jeans/uniform while girls have the freedom of wearing more flamboyant apparel, making them more attractive? Is it more than that?
I've been thinking about this for a long time. I reasoned it out, and concluded that I lost that girl because men mistreated her in life (there are various instances I know, but won't say), to the point where she grew to reject males completely in terms of having a relationship. Do us men fail at treating women properly?
It's 2 AM. Am I full of crap? Or am I even making sense? Please tell me what you think.
well. instead of looking at it generally. Every person has their own story, so I dont think its that men are treating women badly overal causing her to not be into men.
If u really like her, then, treat her nice, gain her trust, and let her know you really care.
well, i guess if u really like her, if she is happy, it should make u happy to know she is happy. gd luck. Dont give up !
You are making sense...
I've hurt my ex although I didn't mean it. Men and women are worlds apart. A woman knows what another woman wants that's why there are women that prefers women instead of men although they're still attracted to the latter. They just don't want to waste their time and get hurt again.
Don't give up as >>2 said, do your best.
I fail at treating women properly, not like it's deliberate, it's just that I don't know how their minds work.
>>1 tl;dr
Thank you >>2. Your words help ease my thoughts.
But as you said, everyone sees everyone else their own personal way. I saw once in labs at school, these guys were using some computers, and all three of them had wallpapers of more or less naked women in orgasmic poses. I was like, come on you pieces of shit; I know men think about sex a lot, but in a public place like that with other girls, come on; have some decency!
Would I be wrong to say that doing things like that leaves bad impressions on women? Yeah you can call me nerdy, throwing anime into this, but pretty much every anime I've watched always has the female characters saying something like 'men only have perverted dreams' or 'guys only think about tits.'
I suppose what I'm most scared about is not being able to find the right girl sooner or later, because they're becoming more and more influenced by the preconception that every guy is a pig.
lols i'd appreciate not hearing 'there are plenty of fish in the sea; stop being emo' =p
Hay OP, there are many more fish in the sea. Just keep looking. Swallow your pride and make it cheap. Swallow your pride and go after someone who doesn't measure up to your standards. I'm shocked to learn so late in life, thirty six years old here, that getting tail is so fucking easy. Get over your romanticism because being romantic is a simple by-product of sexual intimacy.
Hmm, I think men are naturally perverted. I dont think being perverted is a bad things, its natural.
If we all think about it, if our parents werent perverted, in a sense, we wouldnt be here. People being perverted is probably the reason we are here today.
I think at the teen age, most males are perverted. Sex is biggest thing in their dictionary. I think most relationships for teen males, is that they want the intimacy, they want to have sex etc. Well does just my opinion.
But I'm sure we're not all like that, I'm sure many of us have substance.
tl;dr
stfu
I'll admit that I'm the kind of guy to want some sex just like a lot of guys however i sympathize with OP because I had a crush in High school who thought all i wanted was sex
although it's true i wanted sex it wasn't meaningless sex i wanted
I wanted a relationship where sex would mean everything for both of us where we would be happy in each others arms and the sex would mean we cared about each other
sure i was horny but i but if we were going to have sex i wanted it to mean something
I've heard many people (mostly women) say that chivalry is, in fact, dead. If this is true then I would say that what you are proposing is true. And a main problem with that is if that is the mindset of women then everyone who is chivalrous is instantly gay and therefore unattainable.
So if we are nice, we're gay. If we're not then they don't like us...
>A woman knows what another woman wants
Lies. A woman is more likely to know what another woman wants.
A vanilla chick is a lot less likely to know how to please a BDSM chick and vice versa, in regards to both romance as well as sexuality. Having the same equipment only increases the chance of knowing how to handle it better on a partner.
This thread stinks generalizations that have been reduced to useless caricatures.
>So if we are nice, we're gay. If we're not then they don't like us...
I know plenty of sane and cool chicks who would love having a nice guy. Nice doesn't imply spineless, though. I've also met too many (any amount above zero is too many) women who've been taught to equate emotional abuse with love, and thus they keep hooking up with jerks and abusive partners.
>I also know many people who would like a nice guy.
do they wear leather pants and not own motorcycles?
anyway, ops problem is a typical teenage problem. he'll grow out of it.
>do they wear leather pants and not own motorcycles?
No, no they don't. They are, for the most part the sweet kind.. possibly not what you're looking for.
It's dangerous to make generalizations based on a very localized pattern. Certainly, perhaps heterosexuality is becoming far less popular in your region, but you cannot jump to the conclusion that it is a phenomenon common to all.
Even if you could find proof that homosexuality is gaining ground, it's not necessarily for the reasons that you might think. It could just be a simple matter of it becoming more acceptable in Western society, and thus people who are on the fence about their sexuality are less pressured to fall any one way. In fact, now that 'homosexuality is cool,' you could even argue that they're more likely to choose it even if they're slightly more attracted to the opposite sex.
The point is that you can't prove anything, or draw any useful conclusions - though it's harsh for me to say this, and not very helpful or easy for you to do, you should just move on. Find someone else, keep trying, and you'll win eventually.
>>19
Gasp! A sane person as well as articulate person! Thanks.
We need more people like that here.
Though people who pick important stuff such as partners based on "what's cool" seem sort of... fickle and dangerous to get involved with.
>Even if you could find proof that homosexuality is gaining ground, it's not necessarily for the reasons that you might think. It could just be a simple matter of it becoming more acceptable in Western society, and thus people who are on the fence about their sexuality are less pressured to fall any one way
thank god somebody said it finally!
----
as for "chivalry" being dead, I think its just that girls expect men to be superheros rather than the smaller things that are chivalrous. i always hold the door open for women with a smile and say "after you" or just gesture by opening my arm that they should go through. i would say im thanked (either verbally or with a smile) much less than 50% of the time. now im not saying this is the only thing i do, ill carry bags/prams up and down stairs, onto or off the bus/train for women, if me and a woman are in a shop and go for the last bottle of water ill offer for her to have it. my definition of being a gentleman would be doing these small deeds throughout the day. its just that nowadays (here in london) people just dont give a shit about the people around them. chances are, those women who wish they could find a "nice guy" walk straight past him (ironically, probably through a door he's holding open for her without being asked to)
dont worry, its just your location (in a way). at my highschool about 60% of the girls are gay.
4 of my sisters friends are gay. another person I know is bi.
their cleansiness maybe. well mannered. (dont fart, burp, think all guys are just there for sex, got with one guy dumped them so they like chicks now. I know if I was a girl I'd be gay.
>I've heard many people (mostly women) say that chivalry is, in fact, dead.
Chivalry is dead. And women killed it!
OP here.
I just finished my bag of chocolate and bottle of water, and for whatever reason, this came into my mind.
I don't think I'm wrong in saying that every one of us lives out life seeking some form of happiness/satisfaction. So how about this.
I'll raise my head high and proudly continue to be the nice guy I try to be. I'm trying to learn new things I consider badass; cooking, drawing, guitar. If I'm happy with myself, I'll shine so bright I'll blot out the sun, and eventually, I'll find a girl who I'll share happiness with, and who I'll do my best to keep happy. Chivalry is dead only if you believe it to be so.
emo mode broken.
You've made exactly the right choice. Enlighten yourself *for yourself, and they'll see!
I think >>26 has said all that is needed to be said.
corke is a nut
he has a rubber butt
every time he turns around
it goes putt-putt
>>26/OP - "If I'm happy with myself, I'll shine so bright I'll blot out the sun, and eventually, I'll find a girl who I'll share happiness with, and who I'll do my best to keep happy. Chivalry is dead only if you believe it to be so."
Exactly!! Congratulations! Worded very well!! It took me awhile to come to that realization, and be happy with who I am, and that realization held me happily, until I eventually did meet someone who shared those feelings (especially after I bluntly told her how I felt and that I believe in things like chivalry!)...
Good for you!
>>10 I think men are naturally perverted. I dont think being perverted is a bad things, its natural.
qft. I wish people showed more interest in topics like these, since there is a scientific explanation for this. But I'll delve into it some other time.