He's into...weird things... (140)

1 Name: a girl : 2007-05-21 19:48 ID:Hn/37fkh

I recently started dating this really sweet guy I met, kind of a "punk rocker" guy who's really into anime and Hong Kong theater. Everything has been going great, except...when he was letting me use his computer while he showered, I saw a folder labeled "anime art" so I clicked on it because hey - I love anime art! I was looking through the pictures and was all happy, and then a clicked on a folder labelled "p" and found his hentai collection. Now, I have no problem with hentai. Hell, I like it! I don't have a problem with loli either - its just drawings!

But his entire hentai collection...is nothing but hundreds of pictures of really violent loli and shota rape. And when I say violent, I mean pictures of lolis getting ripped apart by tentacles and shotas getting gangbanged by dudes and getting stabbed at the same time...it was really disturbing.

I'm not sure what to think. I mean, maybe its nothing. Maybe its just a weird fetish and its totally harmless. I mean, I'm not saying I think that he actually DOES this stuff to kids - heck no! But I'm still creeped out. The idea of someone being turned on by that - even cartoon versions of that - really squicks me.

Should I care? Opinions?

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-21 20:09 ID:Heaven

Talk with him about it. The world works better when people talk.

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5 Name: a girl : 2007-05-21 21:56 ID:Hn/37fkh

>>2 Wha?

>>3 How to approach him, though? I mean, it would be kind of awkward to just be like, "So, Adam, about all that violent loli shit on your computer...let's talk about it!" ...Is that what I'm gonna have to say? lol! Well, not that exactly. I just don't know how I would get that particular conversation started...

>>4 vagina! :D

6 Name: 3 : 2007-05-21 22:11 ID:Heaven

>>5 Simply say it in a non offending way. Couples shouldn't hide things.

If you wanna a way to start simply say, 'Dear, the other day I saw something in your computer and I want to talk about it'

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-21 22:53 ID:KFUYsVsZ

>>5
Stop trolling, mate.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-22 03:06 ID:e1TTDbvk

>>1 If you are not trolling, I would delete his collection casually next time i use his computer, also he didn't hide it, so it was there to be found somehow. Then see what happens.
if you are trolling, I suggest to find a better hobby or try to interact with people around you some more.

9 Name: ... : 2007-05-22 04:07 ID:ioI7Fd1O

talk to him, lead up to a question about it, then ask away.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-22 04:54 ID:6V0cgE3o

i think your boyfriend is schizophrenic... what you see of him now is just an illusion... his desires are shown in that folder.

Imagine he is just being sweet and nice to you so that he can get you into that situation... I don't want to freak you out but maybe you should definitely talk about this subject with him. If he confesses, then you should be fine, but if he denies that he is into those things maybe you should step aside.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-22 06:25 ID:/n3j5MBs

> i think your boyfriend is schizophrenic... what you see of him now is just an illusion... his desires are shown in that folder.

don't be stupid, he just has rape fantasies. talk to him about it, tell him you're worried

12 Name: a girl : 2007-05-22 15:28 ID:Hn/37fkh

Alright...thanks. I will definitely talk about it to him. I'll try to be as non-accusatory as possible. Just casual.
Sorry if my post sounded trollish. I didn't think it was, I was just asking for advice. I didn't think it would get a rise out of people!

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-22 18:28 ID:Heaven

kill him first

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-23 15:21 ID:NmsSVHS5

I wouldn't worry too much about it... A lot of people have those rape fantasies, and many people are also looking at things like that not somuch because they're into it, but moreso that it represents something taboo, which in itself interests them...

I'd bring it up jokingly, like, "What's up with all this hardcore shit on your computer? Never thought you'd be into this kinda stuff?"

You should be able to gauge him based on his reaction, whether he's fairly serious about being "into" it, or whether he just says it's some of the weirdest hardcore stuff he's found on the net...

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-24 03:53 ID:e1TTDbvk

Actually , now that I think about it, this guy is nuts.
Its never OK to have rape fantasies on lollies, you should reconsider your relationship

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 05:30 ID:An616Ovi

It's okay, they're just pictures.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 06:05 ID:Heaven

>>18
The same way frequent thoughts and desire to kill a real person you're acquainted with are "just" thoughts and desires?
It's not at all as bad as the actual murder, obviously, but someone that psycho definitely isn't someone you can feel safe with.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 12:20 ID:h3BIO/fd

>>10

Agreed. He's most likely a sick fuck and you should get away from him asap.

But since you're just a dumb women, you'll let yourself get abused and even killed. Can't really help it.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 13:44 ID:XIV5hGMt

>>8
Even if it is shit like that, you don't just go barging into someone's personal property and start deciding things they can and can't have. There's a term for that: Control freak.

I agree with >>16's approach.. bring it up jokingly if you are really serious about this guy. Otherwise, since you just started the relationship, it's best to get out while the warning signs are flashing.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 14:28 ID:Heaven

>>21
seconded on both counts.

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24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 17:43 ID:NSYnQ9G2

For future reference, never tamper with a man's computer. You just don't do that. I mean, unless you like finding gigabytes of pr0n. People get off to the weirdest of things. Doesn't mean they are serial killers, they just fap to weird things.

It's hard to say whether it reflects their actual desires. Sometimes sexual fantasies are just that, fantasies. And they don't desire them in the real world. Sometimes it's the other way around. You can't know for sure, so to be safe, I would just ditch him while it's still early.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 20:52 ID:Heaven

>>24
Never tamper with a woman's computer either.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 21:02 ID:Heaven

>>25
Fuck you.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-26 05:52 ID:VUSd41+2

>>23
....?

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-26 06:24 ID:pvm62zM+

>>19
Yes, thoughts are just thoughts. I might have thoughts about raping a little girl, but as long as I don't do it, there's no crime.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-26 10:53 ID:Heaven

>>28

But you're still longing for fucking a little girl, and one day you'll do it.

And after that, your asshole will get violated by big black bubba in prison.

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-26 12:13 ID:Heaven

>>26
No thanks.

31 Name: Frigid onanoko : 2007-05-26 14:09 ID:6MeMG9xY

Had to go and find what 'shota' is. First off, since he let you use his computer, it no problem that you found this junk. How to deal with it? (assuming you no have yet.)

Frigid Onanoko disgusted by people here saying that, just because it helps a guy jerk better, it no matter whats on the pictures' face. Oh please! Masturbation is not holy, neither is sex, and certainly not any items that facilitate either. All for free thought and respect for sexual preferences, but not deeming phantasies involving sex and children very praiseworthy. The abuse aggravates, the violence make it gross.

Here's for the advice. Don't wave it aside as a quirky personality trait. Instead, make him 'explain.' If he can actually explain it, be very very very pissed at him and/ or consider leaving this lost cause. If he can't and is embarrassed about it, be very pissed! At any rate, insist he no keep such smut on his hard disk, because it, err... "distract me from the qualities I see in you." Frigid Onanoko would be surprised if this discovery did not start nagging at you, were you to not talk about it with him. If you become suspicious of a persons character, it will burn deeper every day you don't properly adress it. It one of greatest poisons for relations. For sake of, you'd better resolve it quickly.

All that matters in the end however: you find it disgusting, and he can amend with very little cost. You have every right and perhaps even the duty to press your demands here.

32 Name: a girl : 2007-05-26 15:21 ID:Hn/37fkh

Thanks for the advice, guys. I actually never had a chance to really talk with him about it, though. He started becoming creepier and creepier as I got to know him, and I told him that it just wasn't working out between us. Its too bad because before I got to REALLY know him, he seemed so wonderful. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized that he's really out-of-touch with reality.

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34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-27 07:25 ID:e1TTDbvk

>>32 thanks for update. I like that line: "out-of-touch with reality".

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-28 09:55 ID:NrPdjvcQ

Well, I'm into Toddlerkon, but outside of that I'm a completely regualr guy. If you met me in real life, there's a good chance you'ld like me.
Best not go looking into people's computers. It's like a window into the soul. And some things are best left unseen.

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-28 10:00 ID:boEHWe+A

>It's like a window into the soul.

It's funny how they used to say the same thing about eyes.

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-28 11:56 ID:Heaven

>>36

that was until people started keeping CP in their eyes

wait what?

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40 Name: zhouwuatsien-aimmsny!qZFKl2dobU : 2007-05-29 14:58 ID:QLELUozb

No matter who you end up, they'll always have secrets. There's a good chance that he just became creepier just because you saw him that way. When someone is treated wrongly a lot of times they'll just play the part. Villains become villains and heroes become heroes just because people expect them to be.

Sometimes you can change horrible people into the people they were meant to be, when you treat them correctly.

The violent shota loli rape thing. It's definitely a part of fantasy. And fantasy always finds a way to surface. Downloading hentai is not all it will do. However. No one's perfect.

---

I'm sure you've got some sick things in your head. Maybe not sexual, but sick. It may not even be something you notice, it's so habitual. One day it will surface or someone will spot it.

Will they stay with you?

41 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-05-29 17:03 ID:6MeMG9xY

>>40 your entry is bizarre.

>When someone is treated wrongly a lot of times they'll just play the part. Villains become villains and heroes become heroes just because people expect them to be.

What otherworldly nonsense is this? Gundam psychology maybe? Unless completely unresponsible, people are responsible for their own actions.

>Sometimes you can change horrible people into the people they were meant to be, when you treat them correctly.

Maybe you don't realize, but your text breathes the accusation that OP is turning that guy into a creep simply for finding him a creep. Is that it?

>The violent shota loli rape thing. It's definitely a part of fantasy. And fantasy always finds a way to surface.

agreed. but then

>Downloading hentai is not all it will do. However. No one's perfect.

the first sentence is not necessarily true. It suggests that worse things than downloading shota rape are likely. FO not believe that is imminent. But what is this apology of yours to mean?

>I'm sure you've got some sick things in your head. Maybe not sexual, but sick. It may not even be something you notice, it's so habitual. One day it will surface or someone will spot it.

Thank you for your analysis. what a nice world-image were everyone has a sick mind. Does it make you feel less alone?

disgusted by this, Frigid Onanoko say bye.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-29 19:11 ID:W2pGktWf

>Maybe you don't realize, but your text breathes the accusation that OP is turning that guy into a creep simply for finding him a creep. Is that it?

Both are creeps.

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-29 19:14 ID:2xdBD1MG

>>I'm sure you've got some sick things in your head. Maybe not sexual, but sick. It may not even be something you notice, it's so habitual. One day it will surface or someone will spot it.
>Thank you for your analysis. what a nice world-image were >everyone has a sick mind. Does it make you feel less alone?
>disgusted by this, Frigid Onanoko say bye.

I don't know for the "sick mind" part, but we all have a dark side, FO. Even the most lighthearted of us. Not everyone is as much aware of it as the other, some will dwell in it, some will repress it, but in the end... we all have one.

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-29 19:58 ID:gcBlcN2J

>but in the end... we all have one.

best thing to do about it is facing and accepting it. in this particular case she should have asked him, and if she was scared to do it, why not do it in a place with people?

But yes ... Everyone has a dark side, only a person without consciousness doesn't have it.

45 Name: zhouwuatsien-aimmsny!qZFKl2dobU : 2007-05-29 20:44 ID:QLELUozb

Under the proper circumstances, I'm sure everyone has a dark side to them. In fact, I'd say it would be rather unhealthy if someone was put through Hel, and they could do it while being extremely happy and optimistic.

But these are extreme circumstances.

There's a case study where two children are studied. One of them was constantly called stupid. The other was constantly called smart. One of them suffered from a far less amount of self confidence and issues with school. The other did extremely well in classes and making friends.

I am saying that the way we treat people encourages behaviors. You 'can' be strong about it. Take a stand. But we are only human.

If the world calls you a pedophile freak, you may not become one.

But if that's all the world knows you as. Trust me. You'll show a side that isn't all that...

"Friendly"

46 Name: zhouwuatsien-aimmsny!qZFKl2dobU : 2007-05-29 20:46 ID:QLELUozb

...isnt quite...

"friendly"

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-29 23:51 ID:Heaven

Yeah, I know. The opposite is true too. I'm far from dumb. A lot of poeple have been calling me "smarty" or stuff like that when I was in primary. When we all hit puberty and the look we have on one another changed, it actually turned out to be a burden.

Since then I don't "act dumb", not that much, but I sure refrene from showing my most smart side (even without being cocky). I'll also add that these events sapped a good part of my self-esteem, having people raising the bar around you and then crushing isn't what is going to help you construct your own milestones.

It's all a question of circonstances. On the same scale, I suppose certain "stupid" (no judgment of value here) people are motivated to do their best when people recall them that they start with some kind of "handicap".

Some won't, and will just say "well okay, let's that be it".

Everyone is different.

48 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-05-30 01:11 ID:6MeMG9xY

>>45 Zhou
Great case study. with that sample size odds of being in touch with reality equal odds of being way out of touch.

>Trust me.

Like hell. Frigid Onanoko never trust people who ask that. You earn trust, you don't ask for it. simplest rule on the block.

FO not bothered about this sociological influence on individuals. Only thing is that your post imlied that OP should have stayed with this guy. Because otherwise he might end up worse. Which is foolishness because OP was looking for a boyfriend who she could love, not someone she can't stand but feels an obligation toward to 'rehabilitate' him.

Anyway, Zhou, where do you live? here in the West at least, there is freedom to move. Besides, if you live in a city instead of village, most people will not know you at all. There no need to succumb to showing a side which, as you so ominously allowed a line break for to make it stand out, isn't quite... ... ... "friendly."

FO out

49 Name: zhouwuatsien-aimmsny!qZFKl2dobU : 2007-05-30 14:32 ID:QLELUozb

No matter who you're with, you're going to have to deal with their problems. A relationship 'does' go both ways and people have their needs, weaknesses and strengths. If she can't handle that, than they're not really fitting for each other. But that doesn't mean to turn tail and run.

Screwed up people exist. Not everyone is a Cho Seung Hui. But, screwed up people exist and they need help. And sometimes needing help isn't between four padded walls.

I live in New York City. -Shrugs- Love is trusting. Love is also sacrificing. Love is beautiful and it's a really nice thing to have. It's nice to not only be Loved but to Love. But it is giving away of something inside. And Love includes everything. Including sociological influence.

Doesn't matter how much I Love someone. If I call them a fucktard, it's not going to be all that beneficial to them.

50 Name: zhouwuatsien-aimmsny!qZFKl2dobU : 2007-05-30 14:32 ID:QLELUozb

I don't blame OP for her actions. If I was with a guy who had hentai at all, I might be a little creeped out. Rape hentai was grounds for being mentally unhealthy at first. Now it's accepted. Cartoon porn was grounds for being mentally unhealthy at first. Now it's accepted. Pornography. Was grounds for being mentally unhealthy... Now it's accepted.

But just because something creeps me out, doesn't make me distrust someone. To distrust them would be insulting. Distrust is another kind of betrayal as well.

I don't blame OP for her actions. I just like to show... Sometimes bad people aren't really bad people at all. Take a chance. What does OP have to lose? Compared to what she had to gain.

51 Name: zhouwuatsien-aimmsny!qZFKl2dobU : 2007-05-30 14:33 ID:QLELUozb

Look really closely. OP didn't find him creepy until she found that. Why at that point did he decide to change? Relationships are so full of subtle things, that the slightest things change a person's reactions and perspectives. Why did after she begin to doubt him... He became a doubtful person? -Shrugs-

One last time. I don't blame OP for her actions.

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81 Name: Touch of Ink. : 2007-05-30 14:42 ID:QLELUozb

>>80

Like this guy... I'm sure he's just...

Disturbed...

...By something...

LoL

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91 Name: Touch of Ink. : 2007-05-30 14:49 ID:QLELUozb

Welcome to the internets...

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103 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-30 16:00 ID:6MeMG9xY

>>50

>What does OP have to lose? Compared to what she had to gain.

Why don't you enlighten us???

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121 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-30 17:32 ID:Heaven

Hey, mister spammer, you know you're worse than >>1 in many ways ?

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132 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-02 15:10 ID:Kx8Vh7go

Honestly, I think you should approach him about it, awkward as it may seem. If you really see yourself having a future with this fella, it's an important subject to breech.

Now, how to do it? I suppose the best way to go about it is to be browsing 'round his computer with him and stumble upon it again.

He, honestly, seems like a sweet guy from description. I'm sure he can justify why he has those photos.

133 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-02 17:44 ID:Heaven

>>132
You fail. Please don't just read the first post in a thread the next time.

134 Name: um.. : 2008-04-21 01:27 ID:IymMrXL1

Maybe, even with her, he's just lonely and can't get enough sex?
He does sound like a nicew guy.. But every guy has their needs, don't they?

ps, I'm not a guy.

135 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-21 05:05 ID:Heaven

>>134
nice necropost here

136 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-21 07:07 ID:sBxhpNz+

It could be nothing I've got guro on my computer, and I don't fap to it. If anything I'd be worried about the loli, and shota aspect of it it.

137 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-21 16:22 ID:b7HXxCgT

I have a stash of hentai and lolicon and many pictures are violent and brutal, but I mostly keep them for novelty value. I admit that I have a desire for very rough, domineering sex, though I have a hard limit against bloodshed.

So don't judge a man by his porn stash, judge him by his actions.

138 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-21 16:22 ID:b7HXxCgT

I have a stash of hentai and lolicon and many pictures are violent and brutal, but I mostly keep them for novelty value. I admit that I have a desire for very rough, domineering sex, though I have a hard limit against bloodshed.

So don't judge a man by his porn stash, judge him by his actions.

139 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-21 18:10 ID:hb07ty81

Even still I guess his Taste is a little strange but alot of hentai can get strange so I wouldn't think to much of it to be honest. Hentai in itself implies that something is a little bit fucked up.

140 Name: 5664!!u33oCP+L : 2008-04-21 18:43 ID:FRDyba43

>>138

I agree with him. Some people get tired of the norm and just need a bit, well...more to help rid themselves of sexual frustrations. They are called sexual frustrations for a reason.

But to make it short and sweet, I think he just hasn't gotten laid in a while and is kinda deep down mad about it.

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