Every female I make eye contact with wants to marry me so I must continually stare at the ground. No matter how hard I try to avoid women, they somehow manage to wriggle their vagina against my leg and start the babytalk routine. I seriously am at a loss here. I only like to hang around boys for the competition they provide and other than that I couldn't give a damn about them. What the hell can girls do besides spread their legs and make babies? Lord knows they can't cook or clean anymore. And considering that I only need tickle their chin to release their tongue, they are a complete bore. I'm here putting cheezwiz on my cracker, typing random crap on anonymous forums, scratching my balls with complete and utter freedom, powerade, good lord my left babytoe nail is long, another cracker, and maybe I should just have a baby.

Find a mirror and try to date yourself.

damn i wish i have your power. every women i make contact with calls the cops.

this is a pretty good thread

Every woman I make contact with has been in a looooong term relationship, is happy with it and ,thus, unlikely to split up.

Every thread I compose is a troll and must continually be ignored.

...but no woman could match the beauty of his own hand...

Pretend to be homosexual.

This is the finest Internet literature I have ever read.