So recently I was tasked with driving this Japanese girl (and her friend, but she was asleep) home from a party, since she lives with her host family in my part of town (no idea how she got there in the first place though). We talked for most of the ride, and things were alright.
I ended up running into her a few days later at school (more foreign students here in the summer than locals... strange place i live in), and we got to talking, and I drove her home again. We got along pretty well and she asked me for my phone number and gave me hers. She also had me give her my MSN info.
Since then we've talked online some, and run into each other at school. I kind of want to talk to her more, get to know her, that whole thing. But I'm worried I may have been placed in the friend zone from the start. With Americans you can tell. You speak the same language, understand certain conventions, etc. But with someone of a different nationality and a different first language (i'm also japanese... in race and some cultural practices. and not much else), it's hard to tell if you've been friended.
Should I call her? Talk to her? Not really sure what to do in a situation like this.
For how long has she been out of Japan?
She's been here for just under four months (i think). But her english is actually really good and better than a lot of Japanese who have been here for a few years. Still, it's different than dealing with a native english speaker from the same culture as yourself.
Actually, the first thing I might want to do is confirm whether or not she's single...
Don't worry about her being single yet, that is something you should worry about if are considering a serious relationship. But you don't know her that well, so you call her up and ask her to meet you some place, dinner is always a nice choice, and get to know her better.
... i dont like this whole "friends zone" thing. like, i wouldnt care if i was going out with a girl who was my best friend. if the two of you are already good friends, that means you two get along really well and you would think that it would make a good relationship
she's probably wondering if you'd like to go out with her, and is thinking she'll just be your friend if not... at least, thats what i'd probably be thinking in such a situation.
Normaly if a girl has a boyfriend and gets driven home a couple of times, talks to you, asks for your phone number etc, she'll let you know she has a boyfriend so you don't get the wrong idea at some point quite early on.
I think you should just call her, and ask her out to dinner. she'll probably say yes.
I might call her... But we really haven't talked much in the last couple weeks. We see each other and say hi sometimes, and I've talked to her online on occasion. Maybe twice a week. But I'll try talking to her next time I see her- or next time she logs on. Not really sure what to talk about.
There's also (one of) the big questions- I'm not the most attractive person ever. Certainly I've improved my style, switching from somewhat odd (but cheap and easy to wear) clothing to more "normal" stuff, and my weight is hovering between 175-180 (at 5'8" this isn't good, but i'm trying), down from 200 just a few months ago... But I'm not sure an attractive girl like her would see me as more than a friend. I rated the odds against me as at least 1000 to 1...
My confidence is kinda shot to hell right now... But yeah. Need to talk to her/call her.
CALL HER! Call her and invite her to a date. Do it now, or don't do it at all.
show NO sign of weaabooism , ever