I'm not ready for a relationship. (6)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-19 11:34 ID:T07u6sz5

I know how people usual use that as an excuse to get out of a relationship, but I mean it. Right now there are things I want, things I need to do for myself. I need to get a stable job, I need to get a car, I need to work on my appearance until I find a style I am 100% confident with. I need to get a life of my own. I mean, I have my own life right now but I am not satisfied with it.

I need to know that with every girl I am, if it doesn't work out, I have the confidence to believe that there's always another one out there. I need to realize that she's not the only girl I can get, because her lack of affection in this relationship sometimes keeps me up at night. I feel stressed right now. Like I'm rushing. I want to take my time getting myself together, step by step. I don't want someone there with me each step of the way. Not that it matters how old I am, I'm only 20. I have plenty of time to enter the dating world, but when I'm ready.

The girl I have now understands this and knows I'm working towards it, but that just makes it even harder for me. Like I have to prove myself to someone. Like I'm under a time limit. Of course, I enjoy the making out part a lot, but is it worth it considering all the other things I am sacrificing for it? Especially when there are other ways to get myself off in the meantime? No, it's not worth it. It's about time I realize that.

I'm sorry 4-ch but I just needed to tell someone.

2 Name: sage : 2007-09-19 20:22 ID:Heaven

>>I need to work on my appearance until I find a style I am 100% confident with.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 11:09 ID:YhdL6Jmr

Protip: Life does not always go according to plan.

Sounds like you're just insecure, and whinging about how imperfect you are. Granted, it is mature to work out your personal problems first before you take on a relationship. Perhaps what annoyed me about your post was how you phrased it.

> I need to know that with every girl I am, if it doesn't work out, I have the confidence to believe that there's always another one out there.
>I need to realize that she's not the only girl I can get..

Sounds like you aspire to become an egotistical asshole. "If things don't work out, then meh, there's always another one around the corner." This isn't the type of thinking you should have when entering, or in a relationship if you actually like someone. Again, it's probably the way you phrased it, but you come off sounding a wee bit conceited.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 12:01 ID:AumhW0hH

Then tell me, what kind of thinking should someone have when entering a relationship? It seems as though if you put even a little bit of passion into a relationship, you come off as co-dependent, clingy, etc. But if you don't put enough into a relationship to avoid those labels, you come off as being egotistical. Where is the middle ground? I honestly don't know.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 20:44 ID:9H6xyIr1

>It seems as though if you put even a little bit of passion into a relationship, you come off as co-dependent, clingy, etc.

You have been dating the wrong people for you. But still, i think that what you want to do (that whole get a job, get a style, get a car thing) is VERY IMPORTANT, please never forget what you said here about doing those things. You are not on a time-trial because of her, you are on a time trial because you are alive.
You are 20 right? I'd say it is the perfect age to do this type of stuff, you still have time, but do it now when you want to do it.

Other than that, I'm quite sure you aren't ready for a REAL relationship, fuck buddies and having fun when you are 20 is just purrrfect.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 23:12 ID:VbYGf6Gr

I won't forget. I actually did a bit of job hunting yesterday and made a list of things I need and want and how to get them. The one thing I'm concerned about now is how to break it off with my girl. I still want the making out part, but not the relatoinship part. I doubt she will agree to that and I have no idea on how to go about asking her such a thing. I guess you can't have everything, huh? Anyways, thanks for hearing me whine. You don't know how much you've helped.

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.