Keep a relationship going and interesting (7)

1 Name: New : 2007-09-30 03:46 ID:tkvl/KDg

im in a relationship right now, my first one, shes a senior and im a junior in high school. she had her eye on me but was too shy to confront me, i never knew until she found out my aim, from there we started to talk on the phone for 5 hours almost everyday, she didnt mind. i feel like it wont last long, i dunno, and im afraid that it might come true. she had previous boy friends before but in the relationships, the man controlled her.
im not controlling her anyway but its my first time in a relationship, i dont know how to keep it going, keep her interested in me, i mean we both have a lot in common and we both like each other, its just that i feel like it wont last long, she'll be graduating this year but i'll stil be stuck at school for one more year, it'll feel like a long distance relationship, she likes to hang out with her friends, i dont mind, i just want to keep the relationship alive, interesting, last long, gah im so confused, haha.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-30 04:46 ID:JvTjMzte

> i feel like it wont last long
> i just want to keep the relationship alive, interesting, last long

Does it matter if it doesn't? All relationships end at some point. When this one does, consider it a learning experience. A stepping stone to your next, more serious girlfriend.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-30 04:51 ID:yQVsDWO9

Thats the big problem with high school relationships, graduation usually means the beginning of the end. Enjoy yourself while you can, breaking up really does suck but its a better use of your time now then not doing anything.

PS, there is a horrible truth of life that there are women who like to be controlled. They wont say it or may not be aware of it consciously, but they will always go back to the same or another controlling man. If this is your case there is not much you can do about it, just show her the best cooperative relationship and maybe she'll have a change of heart.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-30 04:54 ID:aMj9oC80

>>3
Or maybe, he can enjoy being the controller.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-30 05:05 ID:Gp9ghTV+

Haha, I was in the exact same situation almost. What you need to do, whether you like it or not:

  1. Don't give her everything, criticize her a bit sometimes, even if you say it's jokingly she'll still take it seriously. Make her want to improve herself for you.
  2. Don't make her feel secure. Make her feel like there's constantly a small chance you might leave her, maybe even sometimes a bigger chance.
  3. Control her, get your way a bit. Give her an illusion that she has some power, but lay down the law quite a bit.
  4. Don't care about the relationship, the best way to keep it. If you keep that mindset, you'll seem as apathetic as you should be to the whole thing, this will reflect on her, and she'll constantly want to work to make you feel not apathetic.

Do not learn these lessons the hard way, follow this advice.

6 Name: Akina : 2007-09-30 08:39 ID:HyhX31BG

>>5

Thats a good way to get her to break up with you.

Hes in high school man, she's not gonna want to be controlled. She broke up (I asume) With the other guy becouse he was too controlling. And just as there are women in life who like to be controlled, there are those whom want to control.

anyway, my advice to op is to spend as much time with her as possible. After she graduates, and you are still together, she will most likely have a job.

Ask her out on one of her days off, not all of them mind you! People like to relax and just veg out on some of their days off.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-30 11:56 ID:aMj9oC80

>>6
Not really. The thing about that method is. It works. Women, alot of women, don't respect a man that doesn't do most of what >>5 has listed. He shouldn't give her everything. she doesn't deserve the world unless she's giving the world back. And at some point you have to critcize her. Don't do it intentionally when you want. Do it when you need too. Don't be a doormat.
Control her isn't the right thing to say, instead, it should be Don't let HER control you. She can have some power, but don't you dare let her strip you of yours.
4 is harsh too. You can care, but don't care too much. It makes you look weak, care only as much as she does, and try to care a little less than that.

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