Out of the friend zone and into the fire (22)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-15 23:41 ID:Oz5DLarG

I've known my friend for many years and just recently I told her I liked her. Shes giving me a chance to date her, probably out of courtesy, but I've been friends with her for so long, she only sees me as a friend. She's told me that she really likes me as a friend and how simply being around me makes her happy and she's comfortable around me. Is there anything I can do to help develop her feelings of me?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 02:27 ID:Hdq74QKc

Touch her every chance you get. Of course, disguise it as accidents, friendliness, whatever you have to do so she's not offended, but touch her as much as you can so she gets to like it. She might start thinking of you romantically. Be manly and forthright around her.

3 Name: 43 : 2007-10-16 02:47 ID:wIKuVSlK

Congrats! you'll never go back to what you had before. I hope it works out the way you want.

4 Name: Nice Guy : 2007-10-16 05:03 ID:4R+FwvyT

Do not listen to >>2

Some people get seriously annoyed being touched, and if she can read actions well, she'll know you're trying to fake it

Also, >>3 has a good point

You're really in the fire sir ;p

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 05:21 ID:Oz5DLarG

>>4
I've known her long enough, she really wants to stay friends even if it doesn't work out. I'll be normal after a temporary leave if that does happen. But thanks for you guys' advice so far.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 10:18 ID:6g8K8+K+

Well, I guess you will have to start doing different things from the past, or at least do things differently,...

There are plenty of activities that you could do with her as a gf and not as a friend. But most important it's the how rather than the what. I actually think >>2 is not so wrong. Without being intrusive, you can be more intimate, in your gestures, in your words, and in your topics.

Finally, I think friends tend to appreciate to spend time together, whereas lovers will really want to explore the other's hopes, dreams and emotions.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 20:39 ID:Oz5DLarG

I've always been intimate with her and she actually touches me more then I touch her which I find kind of surprising. What would you suggest I do on my first date? I was just thinking getting her flowers, go eat, walk around and talk, maybe movies, the traditional stuff.

8 Name: 43 : 2007-10-16 21:40 ID:6oSN3FgC

For first dates with walking and talking either the zoo or the aquarium works wonders for me.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-17 05:15 ID:/fyLCBVW

>>2 gives some good advice. Don't grope her or anything but just more physical contact pushes you from friend to lover

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-17 06:09 ID:Oz5DLarG

>>8
Both of those things are too far at the moment for we're under a time constraint. So I figured we should go to the mall and just hang around there.

>>9
Will do.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-17 07:05 ID:Oz5DLarG

OP again, she seems "ok" with the idea of going out for sushi and going to the mall, but I want to impress her. And being under a time constraint, I can't drive too far out.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-17 07:25 ID:6wh3JqKG

How about you just tell her what you like about her? Get her to understand why and maybe when your feelings emerged. But, before you ask that, just ask about her goals in life. Get to know if you share anything in common or view relationships the same way. It's a start to see if you are compatible. Hmm... I suppose... just show that you really are in love.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-19 20:15 ID:Oz5DLarG

So I offered to postpone the date for a day when she has more time so I could do something nicer, but she said no and said getting sushi and walking around the mall is fine. Is there any particular meaning to this or am I just overanalyzing it?

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-19 23:08 ID:sFg1wwg9

She probably doesn't want to postpone it. Nothing to look to into.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-20 00:19 ID:Heaven

If you want to be her boyfriend, you need to act like a boyfriend.

1) Don't be a push-over, and don't have a gotta-please-her attitude. Girls like "bad boys," it's true. But that doesn't mean you need to smoke/drink/abuse her. Don't return her calls right away. Talk smack about other people. Carry yourself with confidence and power. I mean, how old are you? 16? 20? You're a raging, snorting mass of testosterone! Show some of it!

2) One of the biggest turn ons for a girl is excitement. Bring up interesting topics. Be compulsive and take risks.

3) Compliments. They WORK, I swear! Do it in moderation, and be subtle. Tell her she looks "even cuter today than usual" when you see her. Girls fish for compliments all the time. When she calls another girl pretty, you gotta turn it around and make her feel prettier.

The best order of relationships is lovers, then friends. It's tougher to become friends then lovers. So try to start over, learn more about her, and act like a boyfriend. With any luck she'll reciprocate and act like a girlfriend, but you need to take the lead.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-20 19:08 ID:PPMR4z6H

why do you like her?

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-20 20:02 ID:2LFJVakI

She's hot, smart, fun to be around. I just do? The same reason anyone is attracted to anyone else I'd say.

18 Name: fartman : 2007-10-20 22:11 ID:Bgx5FM5C

>1

u probably cant. shes known u 4 so long, and still havent found u'd be a good boyfriend for her.
try not to break the friendship with her, and find another one

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-24 22:13 ID:8bSY75GG

>>1

Don't listen to >>18. She's giving you a chance, which means she's open to the possibility of developing a relationship with you. That's more than most friend-zoned guys EVER get. If you think the risk (small as it may be) is worth it, then definitely go for it!

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-25 04:40 ID:d5aCmDL5

>>19
Thanks for the encouragement.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-25 09:31 ID:2vvC5dPJ

tell you'll let her keep whatever she can make come out of your dickhole

22 Name: Default : 2007-10-28 00:35 ID:oTJYR6WM

>>21
alright, children, back to /b/....

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.