Dating Websites (10)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-06 20:05 ID:9oabDlUu

I know they're not the best way to meet women, but they're the most viable for me since I don't have any social connections and loathe group activities.

I've contacted probably dozens of women on personals websites, craigslist, and OKcupid, and the vast majority of them never respond. What's the deal? I'm not ugly, I'm not creepy, I'm not just trying to hit them up for sex. I've tried sending long messages involving what I think we have in common and asking questions about the girl's likes and interests, I've tried sending brief "You seem interesting, I'd like to get to know you better" messages, but with only one or two exceptions, I never get a response.

After a few weeks without hearing back from one girl (and I know she got my e-mail because I could see she viewed my profile the day after I sent it) I sent a second message asking why it is she (and everyone else) were ignoring me.

Her response was to say "Sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you" and then ignore me.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-08 10:25 ID:oKRqtOnp

Usually, girls on the internet dating sites- if they're anything presentable, they're just waiting to be hit up for sex. The comparable-to-gruel ones that will never get married are the ones on there that want relationships, and if you have standards whatsoever, I don't see you sending messages to those ones.

If you don't have any social connections and loathe group activities, it'd probably not be a good idea to try to get a girlfriend right now anyways. I know I wouldn't want to date a guy who doesn't have social connections- past the first few months of dating, the girls want to see that you have friends, a social circle, etc. That you're actually doing something with yourself. If you're persuing a relationship- what's the point if you have nothing else to give but yourself, as shallow as that sounds. I mean, having a boyfriend is cute for awhile; but usually it inclines into a "Well, what are the pros of this guy? Should I stick around, or is he basically a blip on everyone's radar?". I mean, not to say you don't have deep pockets, a cute face, or a big shlong, but meh. That usually goes hand in hand with the no social connections and loathing.

Again, even the loathing group activities part is kind of unattractive. If you don't want to do something as simple as a group activity- what else are you not going to want to do?

Hopefully you don't have that shit on your dating profileee~

Pretend you're accomplished personally and socially, it'll make you alot more attractive when people assume you can actually hold a conversation.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-08 11:52 ID:FTwwcu4S

>>2 not true. one of my friends met his gf on a dating site. shes really cool and nice and its fuckken hot as. they get along well together and have had a steady relationship for 2 years now. but thats just one success story.. pretty sure alot of fails are on there too tho lol

>>1 id look somewhere else. take up activities that interest you and you might find a cute girl at one

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-08 11:57 ID:+RByFmsh

I have issues finding a single girl on a dating site who is there for casual sex. It's like they're all over 30s with kids, starving for sex and their second/third child.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-08 18:05 ID:9oabDlUu

>>2
It's not as though I'm not doing anything with my life, I've nearly got my degree and have career aspirations. I just don't enjoy social outings because most people in my demographic are irritating douchebags. Did anyone see the "Douchebags with Guitars" bit on Family Guy last week? That's every guy at my college.

As for my profile, it doesn't mention my social situation one way or the other.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-09 07:46 ID:9txqbdBf

Figure the one in a million shot of actually finding someone worth keeping at an online dating website is not worth anyones time. You're better off getting some social skills, going out with friends and networking out that way. If you've no friends to do that with, you might as well kill yourself since your lack of social skills already did that to you. Just like a tree falling in the woods with no one to hear it.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-09 07:59 ID:5WMl49ly

I've actually had very good luck with dating sites, personally. It's pretty simple to find interesting girls. You generally have to look for girls who state that they're just looking for friends, as I know a lot of girls who use dating sites to find local, like-minded people. Becoming friends with a girl like that is a wonderful way to begin a relationship.

Also, when approaching someone from a dating site (Via e-mail or IM), don't be too pushy. Don't bring up sex, dating, or relationships at all. Instead, try to find people who have your interests, and talk about those. Ask questions, offer a tad about yourself, then repeat. If she has no questions to respond to, she may not respond at all. Don't e-mail her daily. E-mailing her every-other day is best, so that you don't seem too obsessive.

Use. Correct. Grammar. Girls really appreciate good grammar. Use it as much as possible. Try not to use too many "LOL"s. Remember, the most worth-while girls are very intelligent and usually not very attractive. Very attractive girls tend to be stuck-up, idiots, or down-right sluts.

Try not to mention your ideal girlfriend or the type of relationship you're looking for on your profile. Simply list your interests, and what you're doing with your life. Try to keep it to about three paragraphs. Don't write a novel for a profile, but also try to not be too vague.

Oh, and I suggest "Plenty of Fish" and "JustSayHi" in addition to the sites you've mentioned. Good luck!

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-09 14:38 ID:9oabDlUu

>>7

>It's pretty simple to find interesting girls.

Indeed, it is simple to find them. It's exceedingly difficult to get them to talk to you though. I try to be polite, I don't act pushy, I don't act perverted, I don't bring up dating, sex, or hell even meeting in person, I typically just send a message asking a question or two about something in their profile, or saying that I'd like to get to know them better. With a small number of exceptions most of them never answer back, and the ones that do give a very terse, brief answer strongly indicating to me that they want me to leave them alone.

Example:
Me: "Hey your profile said you were looking for a good kind of x style restaurant around here. I personally love restaurant name. Have you been there/heard of it?"
Her: "Yes."

I'm already doing everything you suggested, so while I appreciate the effort, your advice isn't of much help. I will check out those other sites though.

9 Name: : 2007-11-10 09:52 ID:Heaven

> Try not to mention your ideal girlfriend or the type of relationship you're looking for on your profile.

A lot of sites have a minimum size for this part and it shits me when people pad it out with extra punctuation just to meet the requirements.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-10 15:46 ID:AR9eug3b

You're not really giving someone a reason to want to reply when you say "I'd love to get to know more about you". You know why you contacted them, tell them why they should contact you.

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