The only real solution to your problem is to extract yourself from the gang life,... You wouldn't be the first, and you won't be the last. You say you are smart, then you can figure a safe way of doing it, start working on that.

Of course, this means giving up on some things of your present life, you can't have it both ways. But if your current lifestyle is so twisted that you can't even go out with the girl you fancy, looks like it's not worth keeping it.