Yesterday, I went to a restaurant party with my girlfriend and her friends for someone's birthday. I was "excited" for the last week, wanting to make new friends and just have a good time. Yet, when the conversations became all "girl-oriented" (especially when I'm the only guy there)...I became very depressed and sad. Sometimes, I would excuse myself because someone was calling, but I guess it made my girlfriend uncomfortable because I kept acting like a retard. When we got back to the dorms, she just shunned me...and now I probably won't even have a Valentine's Day happenin' :(.

I also have an issue going to her family functions...when I CAN'T SPEAK SPANISH!! She tells me that they like me...but I'm still not sure if that's the case. When I'm at my family functions or MY social gatherings with her, she feels uncomfortable as well...yet she says she puts "a face" in those situations.

So my question is...how can I not look like an idiot when I am at my girlfriend's gatherings, whether it's with her family or all girls?

The best would be to be introduced to few persons at one single time, instead of meeting them all together at once,... In this way you can make contact with these new people, and when you meet them at parties you can have a much better time with them.

Of course, it's the same for her. Invite her to spend some time with one or two of your friends/family members, so that she really can make contact with them, and build up from there.

Just be a gentleman about it. Meet her friends, try to get to know them. Show her that you are interested in her friends and her life. I know you may not be able to relate with them but try to find a common thread between you and them. My girlfriend's friends suck. I really don't like most of them, however I have learned to put up with them, because I know that I will be seeing them a lot. And if I can't get along with them, then I can't get along with my girlfriend. That simple. And if she is introducing you to her family, this girl really must like you. By meeting her family she is telling them you are really important to her.

So try not to ruin what a wonderful thing you have between you two. Apologize about the other night and enjoy Valentine's Day. I know it is a corporate holiday, but its a good excuse to spend time with the one you love.

> I CAN'T SPEAK SPANISH!!

Learn Spanish, or just enough to get by.
Understanding phrases like "You're boyfriend is a jackass" could be useful.

>>4
Ask your girlfriend for help after studying some on your own. I'm sure she'd appreciate to see that you're willing to learn.

As for hanging out with her girlfriends, it's pretty easy to chat with girls. If they start getting too "girly", just try to gently guide the conversation towards more gender-neutral topics. Or just enjoy the change from talking about your usual subjects.

thanks for all the comments guys. Actually, the issue went a lot worse because I said some things last night that really didn't make sense...and now she's really pissed. I left her a letter just now...and hopefully it makes things a little better.

Anyways, the topic at hand...I've taken four years of Spanish in high school, but I've lost a lot of practice lately because of my focus on learning Japanese (though that's not working out either). You think think I should start again learning Spanish? Also, trying to guide the conversation towards more gender-neutral...hmm...any examples plz?

If Spanish is usually spoken by your girlfriend's family, then I think it's obvious it would pay off to re-train your Spanish.

As for conversation topics, just focus on getting to know the new people you meet. Find out what are they are interested in, and speak about those topics. In this way you can easily make contact with them, and they will be motivated to talk to you,...

I actually went on a trip 2day wit three grls from my Import/Export class...and although they talked about girly stuff like America's Top Model, Beaches in LA, and other shit...it wasn't so bad. >>8...it wasn't much that I got to figure out what they were interested in general...but more of the idea that when something INTERESTING (for my part) comes around...then I get more motivated. Two grls are internationally-born...so it was fun to ask them questions about their countries.

I'm glad to say that I did make up with my girlfriend last night...but on the expense of her father calling me. He spoke in Spanish (which i didn't get half of the time)...but mentioned he was in our town. I ran from work to my girlfriend's dorm. Her parents were there. Although I didn't understand what they were saying...I was able to pull my girlfriend into her room...WAS going to make another long, stupid explanation, but instead said "fuck it"...and kissed her (remember "Harald and Kumar"?).

So for now...when I get the chance...I guess I have to re-learn Spanish again. I'm still anxious though about going to functions in which my girlfriend and a bunch of girls are around.

>>9 You had the right idea going with asking them about their home countries.

In other words, questions are good. Approach these gatherings like a business networking event. Approach someone kindly with talk about something general, then ask mild questions. (Ie, not "What do you do for a living" or "What's your take on X political issue?', but more in the vein of "So how did you and X meet?" or "That looks good on you, how did you find it?")

If you need more question tips, look up networking strategies and etiquette on Google.