Long Distance Relationship D: (10)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-01 15:17 ID:xbDIq36V

I've always said "I will never, ever get myself caught up in one of those excruciating nightmares known as long distance relationships." And look where I am now... D:

I met someone at a convention (lol, giant nerd) who goes to school several hours away from me. We haven't said the boyfriend/girlfriend word yet, but there have been kisses and promises to visit exchanged.

I always thought my plan in this sort of situation would be to say "I really like you, but I don't want to make any promises because of the distance." But I don't want to just look at the whole situation as a pleasant diversion and focus my interests on closer targets (it's not like there's a lack of single, nerdy boys in my life). I actually want this to work out. (I should also add that during summers he lives relatively close, which is good.)

So my question is: what is /love/'s advice for making this work? We've talked some on MSN, but that's nowhere near the same. It takes me a little while to really relax with someone when it's just text, and it's not like I know him all that well. I'm trying to get my computer set up so we can audio/video chat; I have a microphone, but I also have the shitty Mac version of MSN that doesn't let you do either of those things. I'll have to use AIM, which I never, ever use. (Anyone have suggestions for clients that will let me continue using MSN?) Any other tips in general from people who have dealt with this before?

I can't decide if my life is awesome or completely sucks right now. D:

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-01 17:52 ID:no/UKwoc

You'll have to make your own judgment call. Not seeing each other face to face except for summer isn't going to work out, no matter how much you like him.

Do you have a means of visiting him? Perhaps you can drive out every other weekend and spend the whole day with him (or sleep over, if you're okay with it.

Remember to keep lines of communication open. You should try to contact him at least as often as he contacts you.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-02 10:50 ID:Heaven

Adium is a good choice for an IM client that supports many protocols, including both AIM and MSN.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-02 13:17 ID:Heaven

AIM support XMPP now anyway so pretty much any XMPP client will work on it.

5 Name: sage : 2008-04-02 14:23 ID:Heaven

amsn does nifty things like voice and video chat. Works on most OSes too, including mac. :D

6 Name: OP : 2008-04-02 19:15 ID:K3FEzerk

We talked on the phone a bit last night, but not for long because I had work to do and was really tired. ;_;

>>2

I'll probably have the money to visit within a couple months. To be honest, I have the money now, but barely, and I don't want to be out of money if an emergency comes up.

>>5

Oooh, looks nice. Thanks lots, Sage-san. :3

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-04 04:01 ID:wDBUxGD/

Well, if you like him don't let the distance stand in your way. And look who's talking, I had a girlfriend 5000km from me :) Didn't work out :(

Good luck!

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-04 21:57 ID:QkG5YtxE

hey, if you really do like him things will work out!
i'm in a LDR, and there is 3000 miles of ocean seperating us. so, i cant just drive over to see her. I'd give anything to be in your position xD so i'd say GO FOR IT!!!
dont let the distance get in the way. it'll become a problem at like, the 2-3 month mark, but after a while you get over it

9 Name: OP : 2008-04-07 05:39 ID:pveqLVEo

I might as well update with the sad ending to this short saga: he has a new girlfriend who is not me. Apparently I was okay with the distance but he was not.

Blah.

Two things are keeping me going right now: knowing that I was perfectly happy alone before him, and that I can be perfectly happy again. I'm trying to get the self-confidence and joy for life that I had when I met him back so that when I meet someone else I'll be a fun person to be with. Life just isn't nearly as fun when you're miserable.

The other thing that's keeping me going is knowing that he's a nice guy and probably feels like shit right now too. I can't manage to stay mad at him sadly, but that doesn't mean I don't take a sadistic pleasure in delaying my answer to the last email he sent me (I'm also still deciding if I want to go the "Let's try to stay friends" route or the "GTFO my life" route).

Meh.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-08 04:27 ID:fITXDPqS

>>9
If it's any consolation, this was probably for the better. I hope you can find someone you like just as much in closer proximity. But remember, it's not like you ever have to find anybody. So don't worry about it!

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