I met this guy while visiting my friend in college. . .
Since then we've been keeping in contact constantly for 2 months. We talk about everything and I'm staring to like him a lot. Question is: How do I go through the normal process?
I've been in relationships before but I've always swirled into them, don't really think I've ever said yes, or I've bitched them off. . . what do I do?
there is no normal process...
but if there is one thing that is a common thing among guys, we generally don't want girls to be the ones who make the first move.
from past experience, I don't remember a time where I agreed to go out with a girl when she asked me first... but I guess it doesn't count b/c everytime that happened I was actually trying to work up the courage and the timing to ask out a girl.
I don't understand what you mean by "swirled in"... but generally the girls I have dated were my best friend or close friends... and when that friend boundary gets hazy we try dating and if it works out then somethings happen that make it official... I don't know if I'm helping you at all b/c I'm not getting the question.
but I say you let him make the first move and until then just keep in contact with him.
I say ask him if you feel like the situation is right. The worst that can happen is that you guys remain friends. If he can't decide to make the first move then be brave and do it yourself. I'm actually used to girls randomly coming up to me more revealing their feelings then me doing it. I think I've only done it a couple of times and they were successful because I dated them and sure things didn't workout but we're all friends. Wouldn't take them back though. The point is you like the dude so go for it before he might fall for someone else while your not around. Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith if you feel strong about your feelings and want an answear to your question
>we generally don't want girls to be the ones who make the first move.
As a guy I must say that this is only true for me if I'm not interested in the girl or if I don't find her attractive. Otherwise I would prefer a girl to make the first move because typically I can never tell if one is interested in me or not.
Girl here, and I'm just going of off what's worked for me in the past...
Just relax and flirt when you're around him. Make excuses to be around him when the two of you are alone. Also give him plenty of hugs and physical contact. Do what feels natural, though, don't force things. (Be sure to insist on hugs when you're saying goodbye, though.) Pay attention to his reactions; if he's like "meh, whatever" when you hug him, you're probably out of luck. If he starts initiating physical contact too, you get to be very happy.
If the time is right, and you feel comfortable with it, give him a kiss. Or just wait for him... (I always get caught in this situation where I really want to kiss him, but I'm too shy to do it myself orz.)
After you've kissed, be sure to define what exactly your relationship is very quickly. Friends with benefits situations suck.
Good luck.
>but if there is one thing that is a common thing among guys, we generally don't want girls to be the ones who make the first move.
Wrong.
I would love it if a girl made the first move, and I'm sure many others would, too. If you really want the guy, go for it.
>but if there is one thing that is a common thing among guys, we generally don't want girls to be the ones who make the first move.
Wrong
So, I should make the first move?
A bit of a problem, I'm really shy and he's at college right now. . . We send text messages back and forth, and he always knows what to say. . I just can't say the same for myself.
I'm visiting him this weekend. . . He just doesn't know it bacause His friend invited me and my other friend is picking me up.
So. . . what?
So, I should make the first move?
A bit of a problem, I'm really shy and he's at college right now. . . We send text messages back and forth, and he always knows what to say. . I just can't say the same for myself.
I'm visiting him this weekend. . . He just doesn't know it bacause His friend invited me and my other friend is picking me up.
So. . . what?
You have to stop being shy sooner or later. If you can't open to this guy how do you expect to know how he feels.
You have to stop being shy sooner or later. If you can't open to this guy how do you expect to know how he feels.
fine... dudes damn don't have to point it out so blatantly that i'm wrong... I guess me and my friends just dont like it too much.
since majority rules... in this dumb dumb society... I say you go for it then. ok see the reason i said that as the general rule in the first place, guys are less shy about asking girls out in general (than the other way around), so if he knows that youre single and has not asked you out, it may be that he isn't really too interested or he has someone else on his mind right now.
but yea i still say you go for it, since you seem to like this guy a lot, and personally I hate texting, I only reply to texts from girls who i actually have some interest in... i don't know why girls love texting so much... it's called a cell phone for a reason.. it's a phone...
but anywho, go for it and well.. good luck =]
oh btw, the thing about the texting should have been to motivate you further, since I do not have a guy friend who actually likes texting... but then I may be wrong in this as well.
ok from what i read so far, i think you actually have a good chance with this guy, the previous post just had some things for you to consider... so don't get me wrong, I actually think you should go for it.
have fun and i hope everything goes well.
He's been hinting to me, that he's intreseted, like asking me how my family would handle a guy of his description and all that.
So when guys text it's a good thing?
Well we have been texting until 4 am regularly. . . it's killing my sleeping schedule.
>>14
I would try to get him to graduate to actual voice conversations, if possible. If he seems receptive to the idea, that's a good sign.
..Although what's all this about 'a guy of his description'..?
well ok so for me and a lot of my dude friends, texting is very bothersome.. especially texting until 4...
but girls love to text and if and only if i have any interest in a girl would i text back.
but yea i prefer conversation over the phone better, maybe he feels that you prefer texting.. so you should call him perhaps.. b/c you can tell when a guy likes you a lot better that way or at least it works very well the other way when girls try to do cute things over the phone until she and i fell aslseep that generally gave me a pretty good idea....
so call him.. i think that'll be better
one great way and a definitive way for you to end this "does he or doesnt he" situation is to get him to meet some of your friends in a social event and then ask your friends to ask him if he likes you or not... although dumb guys like me dont pick it up at that moment, if he likes you enough and he's been flirting with you he should say yes, if he says no, then well thats that for now... or he could just be really shy.. but yea in the case that he says no and he was just shy, he is going to have to confront you about this sooner than later.
well good luck.
IS there something new?
She's probably busy making out with him, since she said she's going to visit him this weekend.
At least, that's what I like to think. ;)
Just bone him already!!!!!! GAWDS DAMMMMMIIIIIITTTTTT
I'm also curious about what this "description" is...
ORZ
>>5 that is terrible advice. I can't stand "huggy" girls. They hug everyone too and its so stupid. And flirting is bullshit too...it's all fake and full of games.
But I don't Elle is doing that stuff anyways. lol hope not.
>>4
Seconded. The number of times it's taken me weeks, months or even YEARS to realise through the wonderful power of hindsight that a girl liked me... so yeah, guys generally suck at reading "hints"
Ah, really? I mostly just hug people when I first see them in a day and when I'm saying goodbye. It's a way of showing my friends I care about them, getting the basic physical contact I need, and provides a good excuse to be close to anyone I'm interested in.
Also the flirting. I flirt by just sort of acting relaxed and being willing to joke with someone. Teasing is a big part of it too. I don't do the whole playing hard to get thing, because that's just dumb.
Flirting is just a good way to get to know someone and indicate interest without explicitly coming out and saying you like the other party. Also, I find it fun.
Yeah but many women flirt just because it IS fun, whether they have an interest in the guy or not. It's not genuine. I figured you hugged all your friends too. So when they guy you like sees you hugging other guys too, then he gets confused. That's why I stay away from huggers.
Yeah but many women flirt just because it IS fun, whether they have an interest in the guy or not. It's not genuine. I figured you hugged all your friends too. So when they guy you like sees you hugging other guys too, then he gets confused. That's why I stay away from huggers.
Yeah but many women flirt just because it IS fun, whether they have an interest in the guy or not. It's not genuine. I figured you hugged all your friends too. So when they guy you like sees you hugging other guys too, then he gets confused. That's why I stay away from huggers.
You know, men can flirt solely for fun too.