hi,
well... I have a problem that has been bugging me for about 8 months now. I know this will sound pathetic but I can't get over this girl. I was in an on and off relationship with her for about 3 yrs. by on and off I mean she was a shy person so when I asked her to be my girlfriend for the first time she turned me down and didn't speak to me for a while until one of her friends told me how she really felt about me making me approach her again then she was really happy that i asked again and yea..
well, thats besides the point. the question (or rather a request of different examples of dealing with this situation) is how do you get over someone who you were best friends with.
she and i were very compatible and well she would come over to my work sometimes as well and we were close enough to just lie around outside at night together and not speak a word and have a great time.
we loved each other but we had to go our separate ways due to occupational situations....
i thought i was fine but im not. i had dreams about her recently, at first the dreams were just replays of some of our time together, but now i had a dream last night about meeting her and talking things out with her...
i tried meeting other girls, but whenever there are those "moments".. I can't continue on with that person, b/c the memories of her are holding me back.. it's partially b/c she and i had this experience before, and if I start looking for girls that would mean that I acknowledge that we're finished.
any examples of similar situations would help, thanks
It was like this with my recent ex. Somehow out of nowhere she got fed up with me over something she didn't fully listen too. So she broke up with me and a week later moved on to a different guy her brother is friends with. Shit sucked for a while till I realized mopping around wasn't me. I hated seeing them together and so did her family. Her family trips me out sometimes since they visit me at my work from time to time to see how I'm doing. I've gotten close to parents but not that close. So since I'm 25 I did the only option at the time. Get trashed and partied with my friends and who ever wanted to go have a good time. I didn't do the whole one night stand thing because that doesn't solve anything except the whole getting laid part. Anyone can get laid it ain't that hard I just don't like hurting other people's feelings. Finally I started hanging out with this incredible girl from my 2nd job. We've always hanged out once a month but never gotten close till this recent spring break. She just saw how great of a guy I am and is head over heals for me. She got me to get over my ex by showing me someone better can see my good side.
I've been in the same situation. I was with someone that, after we went our separate ways, I had a hard time not thinking about her. I dreamed about her all the time and thought about her non-stop during the day...became a real pain in the ass really. It's one of those things that really depends on the person. Some people (obviously not you) can just "get over it" without a second thought, while others it's just always on your mind and you just really can't get over it as easily.
You have the right idea with getting out there and meeting other girls, that seems to be one way to deal with getting over someone, even though it seems like you still think about that person a lot. Meeting other girls or just keeping yourself preoccupied with something else entirely is probably best in the situation. I myself have finally started talking to a girl that I really like, who is really great and wonderful to talk to. I am finally giving up on the thoughts I had with my old girlfriend, thought there's still a few memories that keep going through my head, mainly because there were a lot of firsts with her (she was actually my first gf), but I'm starting to create new memories with my new girlfriend.
When you start to finally get over her, you'll feel a lot better, really.
I think the wierdest part of my situation though now is that yah I still have the memories of my ex but I know this girl likes me and acknowledges me. Lol what makes it wierd for the new girl I'm seeing is that I work with my ex. I've never cheated on a girl so I'm not about to start now. Lol my ex is jealous of the new girl since I treat her better than how she was treated. I told her, "I never changed anything thats I treated you and I guess it shows you didn't care as much if you didn't notice that." Her family, friends, and co-workers even told her she was a dumbass for giving up on me. We are now friends because she finally listened to that brat. I laugh about everything now because I like this new girl but I'm glad I finally got to tell my ex what she didn't want to listen to at the time. She thinks that would of changed everything but I told her, "If you loved me as much as loved you and didn't give up on me thats what would of changed over not listening and overracting." But hey we're friends and we're seeing other peopoe (except her guy is a total dick and everyone she knows thinks that. lol that payback enought), and most of all its not so wierd at the job anymore except she can't shake the time me and had together now.
It sucks to admit that it's over but honestly thats the best course of action. I did the whole spheel of trying to change when it wasn't my fault and winning her back from her brother's friend. Actually she is the first ex I tried to get back because usually I do all the dumping so it wierded me out a little when I got dumped for the first time. I know wierd as it sounds out of all my relationships I pick the one time to do something different and at 25. It blows never doing that again. Nice girls aren't that hard to meet. I know you'll find someone better.
You usually do get over someone once you begin to like someone else. In fact, you'll realize you almost completely forgot about them.
Just think of what you learned in that relationship. Think of how you felt around her. (I know it sounds like bad advice right now but there is a point).
Now, with what you learned, go searching. Find the one who you will spend the rest of your life with. It might take a bit, but use the time you are waiting to do a bit of soul searching ^.^